Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that things were different before 2007?

749 replies

Haarrieett · 15/03/2019 19:03

Just happened to see that the new Madeleine McCann documentary is trending on twitter - I clicked on it and saw that hundreds of people were saying things along the lines of "Who would leave their children alone in a foreign country?"

I was slightly Blush at this because dh and I honestly used to do this all the time. My dc are a few years older than Madeleine - when we went on holiday to resorts in places like Greece and Spain, we would often leave them alone in a hotel room (often with a window/patio door open for fresh air) while we went out for dinner.

Obviously, after Madeleine went missing we never did it again, but I do recall it being pretty common behaviour at least among our friends.

Did anyone else used to do this in the pre-MM era?

OP posts:
StoorieHoose · 15/03/2019 19:04

Nope. I can't say I have ever left DD alone in an accessible room in a foreign country

EstrellaDamn · 15/03/2019 19:05

I asked my parents about this and they said they only did it once in a hotel with a listening service. They came back up the stairs to find the 3 kids in the room next door hysterical and had to look after them until the (pissed) parents appeared ages later.

So no, it's wasn't normal for us. I think it was much more common than nowadays though. Or I hope it is!

UrsulaPandress · 15/03/2019 19:05

No.

starabara · 15/03/2019 19:06

Prepare to be shot down in flames; this is the place where you don’t even leave your child in the sitting room to go for a pee until they are 3.

I think this was common years ago; but not with the door unlocked! My parents left us in hotel rooms with the “listening service” ie, you left the phone up and the reception nanny rang dialed in every ten mins or so, to check.

needmorepizzainmydiet · 15/03/2019 19:07

Our parents left us in hotel rooms in the UK I’m sure but I don’t think abroad and I’m not sure how old we would have been.

gamerwidow · 15/03/2019 19:08

Absolutely not in the same way I wouldn't leave my child sleeping at home while I went to dinner up the road.
This isn't a new thing when I was going on holiday as a child 30 years a go my mum would never of dreamed of being so neglectful.
If it had been a working class family who'd left their kids to go to a disco instead of a middle class family who left them to go and drink wine with their mates they would have been crucified by the press.

In fact it's so reckless I find it difficult to believe you're even telling the truth.

ShinyMe · 15/03/2019 19:09

I don't think it was common. I remember an immediate public reaction of "WTF, who goes out and leaves their kids alone on holiday??" when MM disappeared.

SwimmingKaren · 15/03/2019 19:09

I also think common years ago. I wouldn’t leave mine but this may be your point as I’ve only been a parent post MM case and the accompanying atmosphere.

DoomOnTheBroom · 15/03/2019 19:10

My parents used to leave us in the chalet at Butlins when we were small (under 6) as there was a listening service who would radio the showbar with the chalet numbers of any children who were awake. The service was still going when they last took us in 1990, I think it ended the following year.

In 1992 we went to Spain, we would all go out together on an evening and then once it got to around 10pm they'd put us in the hotel room and go down to the hotel bar for some grown up time.

PaquitaVariation · 15/03/2019 19:10

No, not usual. Even when we were children going on holidays in the 80s the bars and restaurants were full of families, usually with the kids all hanging out together whilst the parents were drinking. Taking the kids out and letting them stay up late is part of being on holiday, isn’t it?

PositiveVibez · 15/03/2019 19:10

No. Our parents never left us. Especially not in an unlocked room with the window open.

I don't think anyone will 'flame' you at all. Just because you say you do thing differently, it's not 'flaming' you.

Some people are so dramatic.

There's no way - even pre-Madeleine - that I would leave my toddler child in an unlocked apartment 100 yards away. No baby monitor, no listening service.

adulthumanwolf · 15/03/2019 19:11

I must admit I'm gobsmacked anyone has ever done this. What if there was a fire? Or a child decided to scale the balcony or wander out of the door or something?

gamerwidow · 15/03/2019 19:12

DoomOnTheBroom a locked chalet with a listening service is a bit different from an apartment with the door open and no listening service though.

Original poster
Haarrieett · 15/03/2019 19:12

Taking the kids out and letting them stay up late is part of being on holiday, isn’t it?

Not when they're toddlers, surely?

We certainly wouldn't do it every night - most nights we'd all eat together around 5 or 6pm when the dc were very little. But if we were on holiday for say 2 weeks, then 3 or 4 times dh and I would want to eat later, somewhere a bit fancier.

OP posts:
Amanduh · 15/03/2019 19:12

Eerrm no.

Kitsandkids · 15/03/2019 19:12

I’m late 30s and I’m almost positive my mum and dad never left me and my brother alone in a hotel room while they went out to dinner.

ZippyBungleandGeorge · 15/03/2019 19:13

No we were always allowed to stay up late on holiday, there are pictures of me on my dad's knee in various restaurants and I remember the odd cabaret show or live music. Same as Nye pictures of is also on chairs pushed together at the disco usually with gran sat by us while others were dancing. Ok we were out of routine but we were with adults. We went to Mexico with family last year and DN was two and a half, she would stay up until the adults were ready to go to bed, sometimes falling asleep in the buggy. This approach has meant all of us are easy sleepers anywhere any time, which is a nice bonus.

gamerwidow · 15/03/2019 19:13

adulthumanwolf exactly, the risk of abduction is actually the least you need to worry about in this scenario.

ZippyBungleandGeorge · 15/03/2019 19:14

*pictures of us asleep

RockysMa · 15/03/2019 19:14

My parents left us and I know my friends parents did the same so in my opinion Op yanbu.

SilverySurfer · 15/03/2019 19:15

My parents never left my sister and I, ever but then they weren't .... well I can't say it on here.

gamerwidow · 15/03/2019 19:15

Not when they're toddlers, surely?

Yes you take them in their strollers and let them sleep while you eat or if they won't do that you suck it up and say in.

isabellerossignol · 15/03/2019 19:15

I know when my eldest child was born in 2006 my sister in law thought us very uptight because we wouldn't leave the baby in a hotel room whilst we went down to the restaurant for dinner.

But I would never have done it, although I am not one of the 'children must never be out of your sight, even for a second' posters. But leaving a baby alone in a strange place was a step too far for me.

ZippyBungleandGeorge · 15/03/2019 19:15

@PaquitaVariation your experience is the same as mine, I was also a child of the eighties. The were always children around at night

gamerchick · 15/03/2019 19:15

Did you leave them in the house as toddlers with the windows open while you went out for a meal?