To think that things were different before 2007?

[Haarrieett]

Just happened to see that the new Madeleine McCann documentary is trending on twitter - I clicked on it and saw that hundreds of people were saying things along the lines of "Who would leave their children alone in a foreign country?"

I was slightly at this because dh and I honestly used to do this all the time. My dc are a few years older than Madeleine - when we went on holiday to resorts in places like Greece and Spain, we would often leave them alone in a hotel room (often with a window/patio door open for fresh air) while we went out for dinner.

Obviously, after Madeleine went missing we never did it again, but I do recall it being pretty common behaviour at least among our friends.

Did anyone else used to do this in the pre-MM era?

I’m in my 40s and my parents are in their 70s and I’m was absolutely NOT the done thing to leave your kids in the room whilst the adults went for dinner. None of my friends did it and none of my parents friends did it either.

Not because they would be kidnapped (extremely unlikely) but they could wake up from a nightmare and feel all scared (very likely).

No never in a million years

First D.C. was born in the early 90s. We used to do it if the restaurant and the room were close enough for the baby monitor to work so it was normally only within hotels. I wouldn’t have done it if I couldn’t have listened to the room.

I’m a child of the 70’s. My parents definitely never left us. I remember trying to sleep while they watched the tv.

It was quite common if you were staying in a hotel for the reception staff to have the other baby monitor and come and find you if your baby started crying in your family room whilst you were getting pissed at the bar enjoying a meal in the hotel restaurant. That was 20 years ago when mine were small.

Mine were born in the 90s. No way would I ever have left them in the apartment alone. Not because I considered abduction but the thought of them waking up and not knowing where we were is hideous. We took our toddlers out with us, they ate with us then fell asleep in their buggies and were carried to bed when we got back.

I wouldn’t leave DS and my parents wouldn’t have left me.

We stayed out later than he was used to sometimes on holiday when DS was small, we always ate as a family. Sometimes he would crash after eating and we could have a few drinks. If he was fractious or grumpy we went to the room. It’s only a few years. I remember the outcry when MM was taken. Lots of people thought her parents were neglectful.

I was brought up in the 80s and don't think I was left alone until I was 11 or 12

We never have no pre 2007 or afterwards, lots of our friends would use the baby listening service though. I have no idea why it was totally unreliable. Most hotels have withdrawn them now.

I'm in my early 30s and my parents always used to leave my brother, sister and I in bed and go to watch the evening entertainment. One of them would come back every hour or so to check we were ok, then leave again.

It was a Mark Warner but I don’t think babysitting or a listening service is included and they certainly weren’t using one. There was a night crèche though which they didn’t use.

Well I didn't have my first until 2008, but honestly I can't ever imagine doing what the Mcanns did.

I'm certainly not hysterical, and I would leave them while I paid for petrol etc, but never in a flippin hotel room while I went for a drink, that is neglect.

It's not only abduction I'd be worried about, what if they woke up and started wondering around, or got upset, or hurt themselves, what if there was a fire?

When I've gone on holiday with mine we've always put them in a stroller if we wanted to stay out late, or we just grabbed some drinks/snacks and relaxed in the apartment.

Why go on holiday with your kids then leave them unattended, it's the height of selfishness.

We did. That was the big attraction of Mark Warner holidays, the listening service. A member of staff on every corridor. They used to patrol up and down, heads pressed to doors. You could leave them a key to go in if you wanted to. We only ever did winter (skiing) holidays, so windows wouldn't have been open anyway, but I don't think we ever stayed in ground floor rooms either. And on the staff night off, they still offered the service, you just had to leave a phone number.

Falling out of cots can happen just as easily at home. Freak accidents can occur anywhere.

Would I do it now? No, but mostly from fear of being judged. I don't necessarily see that one notorious case changes the overall risk ratio.

No. My children were born in the 80s and were certainly never left anywhere like that.

I don't think things were different. I think people just make different choices.

My parents wouldn't have left me either, I was first left alone at around age 11, for a short time, prior to that they'd arrange a babysitter.

Should add, I felt I wouldn’t leave him in a hotel room until he was an age where I would leave him in the house. My worries would be more to do with him being scared or an alarm going off and him not knowing what to do, or when small, falling off a balcony! I don’t think every other person is waiting to abduct a child, having that happen is unfathomable bad luck.

My parents certainly did this when I was a kid. I remember once in particular when we had to make an unscheduled stopover in a Middle East country due to engine problems with our plane, and the airline put us up in a hotel overnight - we were left in our room whilst my parents went for a meal. Given that it was totally unplanned and my parents had no knowledge of that country or that hotel, with hindsight it seems extraordinary, but they took it for granted.

Nope, never heard of it happening tbh.

having that happen is unfathomable bad luck isn't it though?

And I wouldn’t leave him to go for drinks or dinner but maybe to pop to reception or a hotel shop.

God no, I was never left alone and I’m damn sure I wouldn’t leave mine alone.
When we’ve been on holiday the children came with us, either slept in the buggy, or on laps or even on two tub chairs pushed together. I wouldn’t dream of leaving them alone in a hotel room like MMs parents did, and I absolutely would judge people that do that.

Never ever left my DC alone on holiday. They came out for dinner with us and when they were tired we went back to the hotel and sat on the balcony while they slept in the same room. This was in the 90s.

I was a child in the more neglectful 70's and can honestly say my parents would never have done this, I don't think I am an overprotective parent but cannot imagine ever feeling relaxed enough to do this.

Exactly purplejay it isn't really about a kidnapping, you don't leave your children completely unattended until you are confident they'd know what to do in an emergency.

Leaving them in bed in your own house while you are downstairs in earshot isn't in any way comparable.

And we have also lived somewhere where all the parents used to have impromptu street parties on a Friday night. Kids in bed. Everyone brings a chair, sit outside in the evening sunshine, listen to music, have a few drinks. Sometimes the baby monitor was in range, sometimes it was a case of periodic checks, depending on whose house everyone congregated outside.

That was probably far riskier.