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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think that things were different before 2007?

749 replies

Haarrieett · 15/03/2019 19:03

Just happened to see that the new Madeleine McCann documentary is trending on twitter - I clicked on it and saw that hundreds of people were saying things along the lines of "Who would leave their children alone in a foreign country?"

I was slightly Blush at this because dh and I honestly used to do this all the time. My dc are a few years older than Madeleine - when we went on holiday to resorts in places like Greece and Spain, we would often leave them alone in a hotel room (often with a window/patio door open for fresh air) while we went out for dinner.

Obviously, after Madeleine went missing we never did it again, but I do recall it being pretty common behaviour at least among our friends.

Did anyone else used to do this in the pre-MM era?

OP posts:
americandream · 15/03/2019 19:33

No, it's never been a thing in my world. Me, and everyone I know would never leave/have never left kids under 3 in a hotel room alone at night, whilst they go out to dinner. And it being in a foreign country makes it even worse!

People can say it was common pre 2007. It really wasn't!!! I'm sorry but any decent parent who cared for the welfare of their children, would never do it. I don't care if that makes me sound judgemental; better that, than a bad parent, who puts their child in peril for the sake of a child-free night out with mates!

I have no idea why the McCanns were never called into question for their neglect. Their behaviour both back when it happened, and in the years since then has been appalling IMO, for so many different reasons.

I don't expect this thread will last long.

WishIwas19again · 15/03/2019 19:33

Both my parents and my parents in law said they both did this when we were very small (U5 years old) in the early/mid 80's. We also roamed around campsites completely unsupervised with groups of other children aged from about 6years old all evening. Also when we went to Youth Hostels they would stay up and socialise with the other adults while we were in bed (family rooms rather than shaped dorms).

mumeeee · 15/03/2019 19:33

Our girls are 31. 29 and 27 now and we never left then alone to go out to dinner while on holiday and neither did anyone we knew.

americandream · 15/03/2019 19:34

Also wanted to say, I would never have left kids of ANY age on their own in a hotel room, while I swanned off out, never mind under 3!

Matilda15 · 15/03/2019 19:34

I don’t think anything’s changed. I was 18 when she went missing and couldn’t believe the stupidity of all the parents in the situation. I still can’t.

Ive never understood the mentality of relaxing and thinking it’s ok on holiday and things are less likely to go wrong when actually you don’t know the area, don’t speak the language and don’t know who may have access to areas you haven’t considered.

When you look at the layout I would’ve thought drowning in the pool might’ve been a consideration at least before leaving them with an unlocked patio door 🙄

My parents would keep us out with them and if we were shattered would put us to bed and have a drink on the balcony. Which is what I do with DS too.

Birdsgottafly · 15/03/2019 19:35

The press chose to attack the Mother of Scarlett Keeling, I think to take the heat off the Mcanns.

I can remember being left in hotels, in the 70's, but I was over 8 and I could ring down to reception if I needed anything.

I don't know anyone who'd OK what the Mcanns did. They were far away from the Hotel. They chose not to use the babysitting service, which they could well afford. They would have more idea of the risks, being Doctors.

It was more common to see children asleep, under tables amd on chairs pulled together, as well as in buggies.

3in4years · 15/03/2019 19:35

I can't believe you did that. I live in fear of someone taking one of my kids. Not because of Madeleine McCann... I'm not even sure she was taken. But because there's always a miniscule possibility, and it would be the worst thing ever.

adulthumanwolf · 15/03/2019 19:35

A ten minute walk? I am honestly completely shocked. How old were they?

bullyingadvice2017 · 15/03/2019 19:36

Just no never!

Sosad2004 · 15/03/2019 19:37

Ummmm nope! Whenever We’ve gone out to eat / drink on holiday we take our kids with us. Could never understand why people wouldn’t do this.

TheFairyCaravan · 15/03/2019 19:38

I'm a child of the 70s and was very lucky to have been taken abroad from before aged 2. We were never left alone. Where our parents went we went.

Ours always came out with us too. If they needed an early night we used to put them to bed and sit on the balcony with a few drinks.

NameChanger22 · 15/03/2019 19:38

Things were different in the 1970s, but not in 2007. I would never have done what the McCanns did, not in a million years.

Silverschool321 · 15/03/2019 19:38

No not two year olds especially!! or any age when abroad before teen years. To me it's bizarre! My parents would never have done this back in the 80s either and they were the most liberal lazy parents ever! Definitely not the norm.

m0therofdragons · 15/03/2019 19:39

My parents never did this. I was born in 1982 and this definitely wasn't the norm I recognise.

tabulahrasa · 15/03/2019 19:42

Nope...

I’ve never known that to be a common practise.

I wouldn’t ever consider going out anywhere and leaving pre-school children alone. My garden, but not actually out. And even more so in a strange place.

Not because I ever considered abduction as a serious risk, but because if they woke up pretty much anything could happen, they’re too young to be unsupervised.

And my eldest was secondary school age in 2007, so it’s not an after that point thing either.

shortsaint · 15/03/2019 19:42

They were on a Mark Warner holiday. You paid good money (I could never afford but I know others who could!) to have this facility. This was all part of the service. People do not seem to realise this.

Why those poor parents are vilified I will never know.

thedisorganisedmum · 15/03/2019 19:43

Taking the kids out and letting them stay up late is part of being on holiday, isn’t it?

exactly that!

My own grand-parents wouldn't have left my parents alone in a hotel room. They had babysitters, a "summer au-pair" kind of person.
My grand-parents and parents seem to think what is a modern trend is to put kids to bed so early even on holiday.

Chottie · 15/03/2019 19:44

My DCs were born in the 70s and 80s. We used to go abroad and stay in hotels. The DCs would have a siesta in the afternoon and then we'd all go out to dinner together in the evening. It was part of the holiday.

Redcrayons · 15/03/2019 19:45

We went to Spain about a month before this happened with our DTs who were a few months younger than MM. i thought the 'listening service' sounded too risky and wouldn't use it.

No way would I have left them under these circumstances.

That's the deal with kids, they curtail your life.

thedisorganisedmum · 15/03/2019 19:45

They were on a Mark Warner holiday.
I don't know what they are, do the include babysitting?

I don't think the parents deserve to receive any abuse or nastiness, which trolls are so quick to throw. I don't even judge them, I just would never leave my kids alone unless we are literally downstairs in a rented villa.
I am not even comfortable to leave them unattended in a bedroom in a wedding venue.

PetuliaBlavatsky · 15/03/2019 19:46

My DD is the same age as the younger McCann twins and I would have never left her alone at that age. The little ones were only 2, I couldn't then and still can't imagine just leaving 2 year olds unsupervised while you go for dinner.

WoodlandOaks · 15/03/2019 19:46

I’m late 30s. As a child my dad’s companies did family weekend away. My parents were considered odd as they wouldn’t just leave us in the room with the “listening service” or even just one parent “checking occasionally”. My parents always use to hire a babysitter.

XingMing · 15/03/2019 19:47

Dear heavens. I would so fail today's parenting tests!

When my nephew and niece came to stay (late 80s/early 90s), in a very small village in Cornwall, from where they lived overseas, we fixed up the baby alarm and went across the road to the pub! No babysitter at all, once they were asleep. The parents were 15 yards away in another building with a perfect signal for noise. All was well.

LucilleBluth · 15/03/2019 19:47

No. In 2007 I had a 6 and 3 year old. We went on many holidays and never left them.

But the McCanns obviously had nothing to do,with her disappearance and have paid the ultimate price for their lack of judgment.

Kolo · 15/03/2019 19:48

Did you watch the documentary, OP? I watched half of the first episode today. I don’t think I had realised just how close the restaurant was - they could see the appartment from their table outside, it was just across from the pool. One of the MM party said they felt it was much like having dinner in the garden when the kids were asleep in the house, and I can understand that.