To think not all boys with long hair look like girls

[FedUpParent]

DS is only 3 and i've never cut his hair. I know so many people who've done the same thing, i don't think it's that unusual

Every single person (and i mean every one) i've ever encountered, calls him a girl. Or asks my DD about her "sister".

I'm fully expecting people to get it wrong when he has long hair, that's just how life goes. But every single person? And he wears stereotypical "boys things" if that makes a difference.

It's like in people's minds it's far more likely for a girl to have blue clothes with tractors on etc than for a boy to have long hair (DD has wore "boys clothes" and colours and has never been mistaken for a boy)

I'm not actually bothered and i don't correct them if they're strangers, just seems like a far more frequent occurrence than i expected

Why do people refer to short hair on boys as "neat and tidy" or "smart" but not cut their girls hair, or their own hair, into an equally short, neat and tidy style? (Actually that was what a lot of 70s and 80s mothers mentioned on this thread did!)

Not actually advocating cutting anyone's hair against their will, but the value judgement on what's neat and tidy is utterly illogical yet the people saying it seem to think they're writing objective truth...

Not actually advocating cutting anyone's hair against their will

This is what it comes down to for me. My 2yo DS is terrified of the barbers ever since he went in with DH and was terrified of the sound of clippers. Why on earth would I force him to have his haircut when it’s just going to be a scary, stressful experience for him? I’ll take him to get it cut, or have my mum do it (she’s a hairdresser) when he tells me he wants it done.

I don’t think it’s very easy to tell prepubescent boys from girls. One indicator some (not all) boys have is bigger ears. If you can see massive bat ears sticking out from the long hair, it’s more likely to be a young lad - it was DS1’s give away when he had long hair.

It can be hard to tell what sex young children are regardless of their hair! In our town people dress their kids much more neutrally than most, have long haired boys and short haired girls etc. If it bothers you make him more ‘conventional’ or just don’t let it get to you!!

@Howdidimiss whilst i wouldn’t necessarily say it - I do want DS to have short hair where my DD will have long hair.
My DS we take to the Turkish Barbers and get him a good short haircut and he loves it.
And I have dressed in ‘gender’ typical clothing.

I don’t think it’s weird - it’s a choice I have made.

And what others do with their kids is their choice

Nothing would calm a two year old DS so he could have a haircut so he had long hair but not by my choice. He agreed to trims at about three and a half. He then had shoulder length hair in the top year of primary school. Some of his friends did as well they were the middle class kids it was all of them going for a sort of surfer look.none of the kids from the estate had long hair so people upthread saying it’s a class thing well I guess what happened at his school feeds this theory.

He now has a bit of a short back and sides style as a teenager.

Both of my boys have never had a haircut. Once the kids in their school got used to them there have been no issues about it. (One laughs at people misgendering him, the other just calmly replies "I'm a boy") until in year 3 there was a supply teacher who persisted in using the wrong pronouns and saying "good girl"after being corrected. I wasn't going to bother complaining but my boy asked me to because it set the kids off teasing and he worked that it might get worse if the teacher ever came back. So I did.

But my boys don't want their hair short (I ask), and I don't want it sort, and my husband has long hair too so we aren't getting it cut to appease other people and make it "easier" for others.. When they were younger (4 or 5 mostly) and kids at school were saying that boys are supposed to have it short I told them that Thor ha long hair and that if boys supposed to have short hair it wouldn't grow that long anyway so it was up to them how long they wanted it

A child joined in my eldest boy's class this year with beautiful long ginger curls, and I talked to his mum to compliment his hair and she said "I worried it would make school harder, being the new kid and having his hair making him different" so when my boy came out I took his ponytail out and said "see? He's not the only one" ( turns out our boys are similar in their nature too and are good friends now, to the point I worry about next year when they won't be in the same class any more)

Correct people if you want or don't, seriously no one else cares as much as you think they do. It seems so navel gazing to me, wondering if your child is in gender norm clothes if their hair is long etc, will people get it wrong? Yes probably because they take a passing interest in your child and guess based on hair but honestly they really don't care.

Your choices sound great to me, Random! I have a DD with long hair myself. It's the performance element of mums being desperate to announce to the world that their baby sons are going to be "real boys" that I find weird.

It is difficult to tell what sex a lot of children are. People use social cues such as hair style.

I have the exact opposite issue. My dd has a very short pixie crop (her choice she hates having her hair washed/ brushed so this is much easier) everyone always calls her "he" or "son" even if she's wearing a dress or skirt. She's pretty good at standing up for herself though. But we do have a neighbour who insists on using male pronouns even though I've told her she's a girl.