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Original poster

To think not all boys with long hair look like girls

211 replies

FedUpParent · 14/03/2019 20:18

DS is only 3 and i've never cut his hair. I know so many people who've done the same thing, i don't think it's that unusual Confused

Every single person (and i mean every one) i've ever encountered, calls him a girl. Or asks my DD about her "sister".

I'm fully expecting people to get it wrong when he has long hair, that's just how life goes. But every single person? And he wears stereotypical "boys things" if that makes a difference.

It's like in people's minds it's far more likely for a girl to have blue clothes with tractors on etc than for a boy to have long hair (DD has wore "boys clothes" and colours and has never been mistaken for a boy)

I'm not actually bothered and i don't correct them if they're strangers, just seems like a far more frequent occurrence than i expected Grin

OP posts:
SarahAndQuack · 14/03/2019 22:56

There's nothing wrong with little boys being mistaken for girls.

Or little girls being mistaken for boys.

Don't we all spend half our lives playing dress up or peepo or other hiding games? I cannot imagine any toddler cares what gender he or she is imagined to have, and I would think most toddlers have only the shakiest sense of gender anyway.

ThreeBagsFullofWool · 14/03/2019 22:57

A lot of young kids look so gender neutral that guesses based off hair, clothes, and accessories are the best options.

My youngest nephew absolutely looked like a little girl though when small with his long hair and long eyelashes.

altiara · 14/03/2019 23:00

I don’t know why people are getting cross about the hair stereotyping and then saying they’ve dressed their child in stereotypical colours for their sex! Sounds like you are wanting the general public to judge one way but not the other!
I have to say, so many children when young look like they could be either sex. My DD always looked feminine. But so does DS, and lots of his cousins, they’re all spitting images of their sisters. But their faces are changing as they grow older.

katseyes7 · 14/03/2019 23:01

Both of my stepsons have always had longer hair. Even now, they're both grown up. No way would they have been mistaken for girls. Both have always been very 'boyish' in mannerisms and dress - both loved casual clothes like combats, camouflage, and things with skulls on.
My ex husband, however - when he was a toddler, his mam took him to see Santa. When he opened his present, it was a doll. Because he was a very pretty child, in a snowsuit (back in the 60s) and they assumed he was a girl!

PissOffPeppa · 14/03/2019 23:06

It doesn’t change as they get older. My husband has long hair and we still get “are you ok there ladies?” from staff in shops/ restaurants. Always gives them a fright when he looks up and they clock the beard Grin

GinasGirl · 14/03/2019 23:10

@NottonightJosepheen same here! My 14 year old has a lovely face and long blonde hair. He's also tall, slender and people tell me he is beautiful! I agree of course!!
I wasn't keen when he started growing it, but it's his head and his choice and now it's past the awkward growing out stage it really suits him.

Gingerivy · 14/03/2019 23:35

My 9yo ds has long hair and is often mistaken for a girl. It doesn't seem to bother him at all. My 12yo ds had his hair long, but it started to annoy him, so he decided to get it cut.

It was their choice to grow their hair out - it was always kept short when they were younger. I'm not bothered about it - as long as it's brushed.

ohmydaysagain · 14/03/2019 23:50

If you don't want your child to be mistaken for a girl cut his hair. If you want to keep it long for whatever reason makes sense to you do so. Personally I prefer to see boys with smart haircuts most boys with long hair just look scruffy to me. I would never comment on that to another parent in real
Life though.

Original poster
FedUpParent · 14/03/2019 23:53

It’s so nice to hear from parents who have teen boys (and husbands!) who have kept their long hair

I think DS will really suit it (bless him he has a long head Grin) as well as surfer curls that ringlet when humid

Of course if he wants it chopped off then he can Smile but at least if he wants it long he’s already passed the awkward “growing your fringe long enough to get into a ponytail” stage Grin

OP posts:
UsedtobeFeckless · 14/03/2019 23:57

DS2 is reading this over my shoulder and laughing his head off. He has waist length blond hair and almost never gets mistaken for a laydee on account of being 6' tall and bearded but when he was younger he got lots of "you look like a girl" commemts - his standard response was a death stare and "no, l look like a viking ..."

Oliversmumsarmy · 15/03/2019 00:09

Ds (about 4 years old) with waist length white blond hair was playing in the park.

2 boys (a couple of years older) came up to him and asked if he was a boy or a girl.

He replied boy and went back to playing with his friends.
The boys went over to their mums and told them he was a boy.

They then returned to Ds and told him that their mums said boys should have short hair.
Ds quick as a flash shouted “Well your mums need to get out more”

Ds loved his hair long, in fact lots of parents were a bit annoyed with me for letting him grow it as their ds’s wanted to grow their hair as well.

RogersVideo · 15/03/2019 00:25

Same pissoffpeppa, shop assistants refer to me and DH as ladies due to his long hair.

One time we were out and DH was wearing baby DD in a sling. A little boy saw DH and got into a loud argument with his dad over whether DH was a woman or a man Grin

I've never cut my DD's hair (she's 3 now), and I don't intend to cut DS's (age 1) either. We just prefer the look of long hair.

CheshireChat · 15/03/2019 00:37

DS is in the growing your fringe stage, it's a pain in the arse, but he wants a ponytail which is vaguely worrying (as this is a child who decided he should flush the toilet with his bloody feet!).

My guess is he likes having his hair trimmed with scissors, but hates the shaver so remembered I said they don't use a shaver on my (long) hair Grin.

reallyanotherone · 15/03/2019 06:55

Personally I prefer to see boys with smart haircuts most boys with long hair just look scruffy to me

Surely the same applies to girls then? Or do girls have different girly hair that makes it not scruffy when long (they don’t).

thirdfiddle · 15/03/2019 08:21

DS2 is reading this over my shoulder and laughing his head off. He has waist length blond hair and almost never gets mistaken for a laydee on account of being 6' tall and bearded but when he was younger he got lots of "you look like a girl" commemts - his standard response was a death stare and "no, l look like a viking ..."

Your DS2 sounds cool. Perhaps we should encourage all our kids to be nonconforming in some small way. So a) they learn the ridiculousness of stereotypes, and b) they learn the art of the snappy comeback.

BertrandRussell · 15/03/2019 08:25

“50 years ago people were saying I don't see why (mainly hippies) put trousers on their little girls”
They weren’t you know!

thirdfiddle · 15/03/2019 08:30

Parents and grandparents were already tutting about long haired boys in the 60s-70s if not before. Would have thought they'd have got over it by now. Maybe it skipped a generation, my kids' grandparents were hippy kids back then.

NottonightJosepheen · 15/03/2019 09:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

yumscrumfatbum · 15/03/2019 09:24

My 17 year old DS has long blonde hair. He is 6 ft 1 but he is always being mistaken for a girl. He dresses quite flamboyantly but in a masculine way. He also gets called gay and faggot and trans too. Mostly by younger pupils in his school and he hears people muttering comments when he is at work. He works in a trendy out there clothes store so this surprises me. People seem to really struggle with things being outside the norm. My DD had short hair from age 11-14 and was continually mistaken for a boy even if she had a skirt on!

IWantToBeNynaeve · 15/03/2019 09:35

My eldest is 20 and he has shoulder length pink hair....... No chance of him being mistaken for a girl though, he also has a beard Grin. He's had his hair long since he was 7 or 8, before that I used to cut it short but he never really liked it. Now I can't imagine him with short hair! Long , short, what does it matter really once it's clean and they like it.

nokidshere · 15/03/2019 09:36

I wonder if it’s true when they say if you cut off curly hair it will grow back straight

Looking at my unruly mop of curly hair first thing in the morning I sincerely wish this were true Grin sadly not!

Long hair on boys is not new. All generations think they are being trendy and cool about something, no matter how many times it's been done before.

NorthernRunner · 15/03/2019 09:38

I am a CM and I look after a boy with really long thick curly hair, it’s half way down his back, it looks lovely. Although it does annoy him when it gets in his eyes, mom doesn’t like it being tied up either so it can get in the way frequently, but it is frustrating when everyone calls him a girl.

TheGoogleMum · 15/03/2019 09:51

My husband has long hair (beyond shoulder length) At restaurants we've had waiters approach our table from behind him assuming we're both women! He has a beard and is broad shouldered so doesn't look like a woman he just has long hair.

AleFailTrail · 15/03/2019 10:08

Hell my DP has Lon hair and has been stopped at least three times by police who have glimpsed his long hair. Insurance says male, long hair means female, pull him over and...oh he has a (admittedly small, van dyke style) beard. It is funny though.

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 15/03/2019 10:26

I agree with everything @Snuffalo says. You can’t tell a child’s sex other than using gender stereotypical indicators. Those that say you can by face or body shape are deluding yourselves.

Funny story: took my identical twin boys out for lunch when they were under two and a lady thought one was a girl and one a boy, also that they were cousins! Now that was funny - they were and are really very identical! She was mortified I was amused Grin