boys harassing girls for nude pics - I told school, the parents are next

[vivariumvivariumsvivaria]

There are kids in my daughters class I have known sine they were all toddlers at playgroup together. They are all now 16.

A couple of these boys have become horrible creeps - they are continually messaging the girls to try and get nude images. They are saying "you're so hot, I'd fucking ruin your ass" - endless vile messages every few minutes all through the night.

My daughter's friend refused, so four boys started messaging her how they were going to rape her as punishment. It was very graphic and sinister.

I told school. If the messages were being directed at my daughter I'd go to the police, they are so vile.

School have not managed to change the behaviour. Naturally, everyone denied it, the girls don't want their parents to know they have sent nudes and the boys have the images stored in the "secret" bit of snapchat ( that I only found out existed yesterday)

To be fair to school, they have been consistently telling the kids about the importance of Not Being A Dick on social media - but the kids just don't listen.

I know a couple of the sets of parents pretty well. AIBU to think that if school can't handle it, the parents might? If it was me I'd want to know that my son was goign through a Creepy Fucker phase and would appreciate the chance to get him to see girls as anything other than a place for his penis before he landed up on a register.

DO NOT COPY OR VIDEO ANY PHOTOS! I cannot stress that enough. You can be prosecuted for possessing/making indecent images.

We've had this issue recently with DD13 & a boy she liked same age, same school. There is no 'talking to each other' anymore, it's all done by text messages. He didn't even speak to her at school. Within a couple of days he asked her in a text msg to get whatsapp - she asked us - no. She had snapchat for a couple of months a year ago, until a lad same age, same school sent her a picture of his 'privates', it made her ill, and us - it was all a real eye-opener. Took her about 4 months to get back on track, snapchat was the first thing to go. She's asked for Instagram - also a no.

So back to the recent lad, when she told him she wasn't getting whatsapp he asked her if she was 'friget' dumbass can't even spell it never mind know what it means (frigid).
And since then he shouts it at her at school 'frigid'. Thankfully she still tells us what happens and we talk about motives, why he's saying it, what he is after so that she understands what he's trying to do and why. We tell her that her mind and body are hers, neither of which is to be abused by childish boys to humiliate her and only when she really likes someone are they entitled to cross the line, but not til she's at least 16. She's in charge, we're just trying to educate her.

If 4 'boys' (you say they are now 16 years old, so are young men) threaten to rape one or more of the girls, then that is conspiracy to commit an atrocious crime (or crimes), and as such is a matter for the police. This is not boys shouting their mouths off, bragging, playing about, this is a direct and particularly nasty threat and should be treated as such - don't end up regretting not taking these threats seriously. The police have IT experts and in criminal matters can often retrieve data/photos/messages from any device these potential rapists are using. If they behave like this at 16 I dread to think what their future behaviour will be like if their sick demands and cruel threats are allowed to go unchecked - sex offenders register material, jailbirds (on the 'nonces' wing) locked up in the special offenders units. You say that some of the girls they are targetting are 13-14 years old - so they think child abuse and rape are OK - the 'boys' may be young themselves but in law this would classify them as paedophiles. This is not a problem for the school to deal with - this is a problem society is unfortunately having to deal with.

Fucking hell @Dalamane. It makes me both ragey and sorrowful that “frigid” is still a thing.

I struggle to see how this generation of teenagers can avoid being somewhat fucked up by all of this swirling round them, feeding into devices 24/7. At least in the bad old days we didn’t have it coming at us via tech.

What did you do about those two lads?

So if a young person is being harassed, it’s illegal for them to have evidence of it to give to the police? Have I understood that correctly?

If this was happening to my daughter I would want you to go to the police. It’s vile.

OP this needs to be reported to the police. The girls need to know that if anything like this happens they should report it. This is coercion and the girl targeted sounds as if she is particularly vulnerable. Rape Crisis have a number of online resources that might be helpful and you can always call to get advice on how to proceed.

To be fair you've given the school a chance - the messages are coming outside of school hours too, so I'd not even bother with the parents go straight to the police.

Deal with it once at school/parent level. The boys may have some strange concept that this is 'banter'. Give them one chance to realise it isn't. THEN the police.

Straight to the police. It is against the law to possess or share an indecent image of a child, even if the person possessing it IS a child. This comes up in safeguarding training at all schools. The school should have alerted police to these concerns, whether they have proof or not.

I'd say the same about the girls sending nude photos of themselves tbh.

They are grim? Including all the girls who are groomed, pressured, tricked, and harassed into doing it?

I'm sure some send nudes because they want to, or they are - or think they are - sending pictures to a boyfriend. But it's on a completely different level of "grim" to group rape threats...

I agree with you when you say it's porn! My generation has struggled with healthy sexual relationships because of it and the kids coming up behind us have it even worse! I remember some 20 year old going on web cam when I was 15 we were on holiday and in an internet cafe on MSN so there were about 10 girls aged from 11-16 in the room and he took his dick out. Bloody disgusting thinking back! It's worse now that you don't have to sit on a computer to chat to your "friends" I don't really know what the answer is as social media like snapchat and messengers are so damaging for the bullying that can be done! It's so dangerous I have a friend who had her nudes put online by an ex when she was 14 teenage boys are horrible! If this happenes again tell your daughter to screen shot the messages its good to have ammunition incase they threaten to make the images public if the girls don't do something they want them too!

I cba reading through as this is ridiculous. It's not a school matter, this is the police and parents responsibility.

This must be happening in every school. Would the police really be that interested. They must be beyond inundated. I’ve reported this kind of thing to schools my dc don’t go to but friends work in. Also reported an under age pic my ds was shown to his own school.Police weren’t involved in either case.

Girls collect dick pics too.My gay son has had offers of pics his female friends have on their phones of boys. He refused as is v tech savvy, doesn’t want that kind of thing on his phone with a potential record and has morals. I’m staggered at the confidence some of these kids have. My teens would rather die than have a pic of themselves nude in existence let alone on somebody else’s phone. Hormones have a lot to ask for.

Girls distributing nude pics of themselves can get prosecuted. In fact they’re more likely to get into trouble than those who have encouraged them if there is no evidence of them coercing.Obviously in this case there is evidence.

Girls and boys really should have more self respect. I’ve been staggered at how widespread this sending pics thing is.

N0rdicStar

Gang rape is acceptable now then? Nice.

Referring to the pics and Brokens post,not the language.

64sNewName

We listened to her, discussed the options for dealing with the lad who sent the picture (school, police) but she was so traumatised by it that we decided between us to concentrate on putting her back together, she just fell apart in front of us, full blown panic attacks, didn't want to go to school, wasn't sleeping, her school work went down hill, she didn't know who she was and wanted to die - hearing that destroyed me. Took her to doctor, took her swimming to relax her, reported it to safeguarding & they helped her. She's stronger and wiser now, and so am I. Supporting her was the key. Reading comments on here has opened my eyes to bigger problems, some i recognise, some i haven't encountered yet but awareness is key.

I think there is so much going on in teenagers lives that we as parents know so very little about. Society, parenting & schooling etc needs to change to not make this sort of things acceptable in anyone’s eyes.

www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/exeter-university-law-society-leaders-12220715.amp

This is an example of what happens

I would def talk to community officer, i am presuming they're a pcso. Need to tell someone official otherwise it would worry me in case anything worse happens.

Slight tangent, but I think it's important to note that just because you see someone delete something on their phone doesn't necessarily mean that it's deleted everywhere else.

Are you for real? Teen boys are threatening to rape a girl if she doesn’t sent them pictures and you’re not going to the police because you don’t want to upset your daughter? What it they do it? You are the adult, you should be exercising rational moral judgement. What would you want another mother to do if she knew your child was being threatened with that? What’s going on is illegal and not ‘normal’.

If you do not go to the police you are part of the problem. The boys are getting away within it because adults will not act. You cannot reply on the school management to do anything but cover their backs and try to bury the problem. My school’s bullying policy was so soft the victim almost had to apologise to the bully.

If I were a parent of either a bullying boy or a girl victim I would be beyond furious if I knew that other adults were aware of what was happening and did nothing.

In fact, my DD went out for a day with a ‘friend’ who let some boys she knew take my DD’s handbag long enough to remove her sanitary products, photograph them on their faces and put the results on Facebook. I went and rescued my daughter from the situation and when the girl’s mother found out she abused me roundly. I told her what her DD had done to my DD and she was horrified, mortified and truly sorry.

Parents need to know what their children are up to. Think about it. What are these boys going to be doing in their late teens if they are getting away with this behaviour scot free now? It will not just be pictures and threats.