boys harassing girls for nude pics - I told school, the parents are next

[vivariumvivariumsvivaria]

There are kids in my daughters class I have known sine they were all toddlers at playgroup together. They are all now 16.

A couple of these boys have become horrible creeps - they are continually messaging the girls to try and get nude images. They are saying "you're so hot, I'd fucking ruin your ass" - endless vile messages every few minutes all through the night.

My daughter's friend refused, so four boys started messaging her how they were going to rape her as punishment. It was very graphic and sinister.

I told school. If the messages were being directed at my daughter I'd go to the police, they are so vile.

School have not managed to change the behaviour. Naturally, everyone denied it, the girls don't want their parents to know they have sent nudes and the boys have the images stored in the "secret" bit of snapchat ( that I only found out existed yesterday)

To be fair to school, they have been consistently telling the kids about the importance of Not Being A Dick on social media - but the kids just don't listen.

I know a couple of the sets of parents pretty well. AIBU to think that if school can't handle it, the parents might? If it was me I'd want to know that my son was goign through a Creepy Fucker phase and would appreciate the chance to get him to see girls as anything other than a place for his penis before he landed up on a register.

I would expect the school to be doing at least a temporary exclusion for this. It is a serious breach of the school's behaviour policy.

Op you did the right thing seeking advice on here. Thank you for looking out for this girl(s)
She is being targeted because she is vulnerable, and doesn’t have any support.

Inform the police and community officer and let THEM decide what to do, how to access SM, what steps should be taken.

Out of courtesy it would be an idea to also inform the head. You will soon see action then.

The girls involved need urgent protection.
This is a serious offence, particularly if images have been shared.
Op you need to do the right thing.

Other than the fact you know a girl is being threatened with rape and aren't going to the police about it, you know these boys have naked photos of these girls (which once on social media are there forever) yet you STILL won't go to the police?! Eh??

Well lets just hope they don't follow through with the rape threats then...! You know, because it's not your problem....

Police. In a heartbeat. maybe local MP as well with the crime number.

This happened at my dds school. The girl took screenshots and reported the boy to the police. The police came to the school and took the boy away in their car - this is what dd told me happened. He hasn't come back. Since then it's happened with other boys doing it. I've taken my dd out of the school and am sending her to a single sex school, for lots of reasons but this helped my decisions.

But you have no proof? I doubt the police will do anything tbh.

Sadly, the girls who have sent the images have already broken the law

Won't the girl have proof, from the messages she received? Or maybe OP's daughter if the friend forwarded them on?

If the boys are sharing the image it’s the offense of distributing child pornography. That’s a serious offense and could ruin their futures. Whatever you think about that in regards to their age is your opinion but that’s the fact.
The poor girl needs safeguarding to protect her.

Tell the police outside of school. This is important. Within school is not the same, unfortunately and this is too serious to be fudged.

You don’t need to be collecting evidence. That’s the job the police can do. If they know about it.

You asked if you should tell the parents. No I definitely wouldn’t. They may decide to get the boys to delete the images and texts along with a good telling off. This will solve nothing.

You say the girls parents aren’t able to step up? Does that mean the girl is under Social Services radar? Because from where I’m standing all I can see is a girl being failed firstly by her parents and now the school. Her friends parents - you, perhaps others - are also not doing anything either.

She’s vulnerable and at risk. You have the ability to speak to the police so please use it. And if they won’t follow it up, or even if they will, you can also speak to SS if they have involvement in her welfare.

If someone was threatening to rape me daughter I’d want to know and I’d want someone to do something about it to protect her...

Do something.

I would report it to the police as well. Rape threats are not remotely funny.

My worry about talking to the boys' parents is that these are people who have clearly failed to bring their sons up to respect women. I'm not sure a quiet word from you is likely to have a serious impact.

Seriously concerned that the school haven't involved the police - it's a safeguarding and criminal concern and they should have done so.

Tell the police - it needs dealing with

OP you said they had pics of girls age 14-16? Do you mean nudes of 14 year old children? If so, of course this has to be reported to the police

I just do not trust schools these days, so would go to police, they can inform the school as far as I am concerned.

Agree its a police matter. Also - it might not be a coincidence that the girl targetted appears to not have good parental support - it may be the boys have picked up on this and "chose" her to victimise which makes it even more sinister. They are 16 FFS - we are not not talking naive tweens. My DD got a video of a woman being raped sent to her when she was 11 by a boy in her class (it went to a whole group of them not just her) and I was the only one who went to the police. She of course didn't want to be the one dobbing him in but I said no way was I letting this go. He was quite a rough boy with scary parents, but they went ape shit and came down on him like a ton of bricks. he's now studying medicine at Uni and by all accounts is a pretty decent bloke. Who knows how deep he might have got in if it hadn't been stamped out at 11. these lads are 16 so they need to be made to take responsibility for their actions and hopefully this will deter them from future abuse. I feel so sorry for the girl in question. she sounds very vulnerable.

Someone definitely needs to involve the police ASAP!

Anyone who is in possession of, or was involved in the creation of, images of naked 18s is likely to be in serious trouble here. And rightly so.

But more importantly the vile, threatening messages need to be investigated by the police urgently.

It’s bloody terrifying isn’t it?

Oh to go back to the days before social media!

Under 18s

I think the op is getting a bit of a rough ride on here.
As the mother of two girls I can assure you that this will not be a 'couple of creeps' in the class but probably 80% of the boys. Yes even your nice polite, respectful middle class sons will be doing this.
I asked my 22 year old if she had ever received messages like this and she 'yeah of course everyone does'. It appears that it is the modern equivalent of a wolf whistle.

I think its foul and disgusting and I don't know what the answer is but good on you op for doing something. As for everyone else with teenage sons perhaps speak to them.

Would it be a problem that the OP's DD has also had the images on her phone if she is in the same chat group where these images have been shared?

You must not take screenshots of any images as then you would deemed to be in possession of these images too.

I would bypass the school and go to the Police, the boys are over the age of criminal responsibility.

If you have seen the evidence on your DD's phone you need to persuade her to come with you to the police and show them. Otherwise, if all you have is what you have been told, I'm afraid that (legally) is hearsay and you can't do a lot about it.