boys harassing girls for nude pics - I told school, the parents are next

[vivariumvivariumsvivaria]

There are kids in my daughters class I have known sine they were all toddlers at playgroup together. They are all now 16.

A couple of these boys have become horrible creeps - they are continually messaging the girls to try and get nude images. They are saying "you're so hot, I'd fucking ruin your ass" - endless vile messages every few minutes all through the night.

My daughter's friend refused, so four boys started messaging her how they were going to rape her as punishment. It was very graphic and sinister.

I told school. If the messages were being directed at my daughter I'd go to the police, they are so vile.

School have not managed to change the behaviour. Naturally, everyone denied it, the girls don't want their parents to know they have sent nudes and the boys have the images stored in the "secret" bit of snapchat ( that I only found out existed yesterday)

To be fair to school, they have been consistently telling the kids about the importance of Not Being A Dick on social media - but the kids just don't listen.

I know a couple of the sets of parents pretty well. AIBU to think that if school can't handle it, the parents might? If it was me I'd want to know that my son was goign through a Creepy Fucker phase and would appreciate the chance to get him to see girls as anything other than a place for his penis before he landed up on a register.

I would recommend you go to the schools community officer, let him do his job first. Once he finds anything, he'll take to the appropriate authorities.

Why the F haven't you already told the police?

Threatening rape? Jesus wept.

Have to agree with others, this is not behaviour that any girl / person should put up with. These boys need to understand that their actions and words have consequences. I would also add that they must know that, at the least the girl would be terrified / intimated at the very least.

I haven't gone to the police because I have no evidence or guardianship over the child who was subjected to that.

The school do - she has a complicated background and school have been very good at dealing with that situation.

I don't know what action they took - she's not my kid. Whatever it was, though, it didn't stop it.

You don't need evidence. Police can take phones off the kids and check them.

I know a couple of the sets of parents pretty well.

So talk to them!

I think I'll have a chat with my daughter over the weekend.

I can't believe you're being so passive about this. It needs sorting NOW. You daughter (and everyone else's daughter) is at risk.

Need to be handed over to the police, this is now illegal and rightly so. School can only do so much if what is happening isn’t during school hours. The parents of these girls and indeed boys need to be more proactive. Definitely involve the police, the threat to rape is more than enough reason.

I think the asking girls for photos is quite common, unfortunately. This part could be passed off as a 'phase' and the rise of whatsapp, snapchat along with with teenage hormones is a recipe for disaster. However the fact they are messaging girls so often through the night and making rape threats is not at all typical teen behaviour. I'd definitely approach the school and police about this. Hopefully they are just immature and don't realise the impact and seriousness of what they are doing in which case a fright from the police may be what's needed. I do fear that they know exactly how frightening this would be for the girls involved and that at 16 they completely understand how wrong this is but again the police are the best people to deal with it.

I hope it gets sorted and all the girls are ok.

How do you know so much about this for someone whose children aren't involved?

Surely the school should have involved the police? They have a safeguarding duty to the girl who has received such vile messages.

How could you NOT think that you should go straight to the police? And I would do that even if the school were amazingly proactive and hauled the boys over the coals. You're now aware of a criminal offence. You also have a DD in that class and she is also at risk. And you say the other young woman's parents are not inclined to help? Then you have to take it to the police in their stead - who else is going to?

"I've seen the images and conversations unscrolling because my daughter showed me at the time."
Surely this counts as evidence? Assume it's still visible from DD's phone?

I don't understand Snapchat (and will never let my daughter have it on any device whilst she is my responsibility) but how is your daughter seeing it if it is not aimed at her? Is it like WhatsApp where it's a group conversation in which case there must be a few witnesses who saw it?

Anyway I agree with pps, get very very angry about it (you do come over as being a bit resigned to the situation to me) and contact the police, no girl should have to put up with this shit.

The police should know about the rape threats and also the general harassment. These are serious crimes.

I feel so sorry for the girls who are too afraid to report this because they have sent these boys nudes. I do understand why they feel that way though. I hope they change their minds about it.

Stop arsing around and go to the police. Now. Explain what you did and why, and that you are still worried
It’s the only thing to do. The only right thing. Do it.
Not the parents, the police.

Definitely tell the parents and warn them how illegal and immoral this shit is!

This type of threat from these boys screams about what they might be capable of as adults. I'd definitely tell the parents and let them deal with it.

I know they have tried, but, The school arent sorting this out. That's the bottom line.
This needs to be escalated to the police and very quickly.

Your daughter has the evidence, go to the police today.

I'd be going to the police. No hesitation.

I would strongly encourage the school to get the police in to give a talk to the kids about how this is a crime and if reported they will follow it up.

I would also tell the police - at the mo you are second-guessing what they can and can't do.

If the girl who has been threatened doesn't have family she can turn to then I really think it is your duty as a responsible adult who has seen the convo to advocate for this young woman.

I've found the details of the community officer who teaches CEOPS stuff. He'll do.

^

Right luv

I personally find it appalling you’ve said basically she’s not my problem and it’s being handled...how do you know?

When did people stop caring about others? She’s a vulnerable girl. I would 100% tell the police everything you do know and let them find the “evidence” that’s their job you don’t have to play detective.

Young girls are abused, raped in this country, how do you know it’s idle threats? One of these young men’s Dad might be an offender and he’s been influenced or abused himself.

Tell us when you’ve done the right thing and Informed the authorities.

Shees I think the problem with Snapchat is that messages disappear very quickly after posting (presumably they could be screenshotted though). Why anyone lets their child have Snapchat is beyond me, it's obviously going to lead to abuse.

As others have said, you need to report this. I know it's scary and feels complicated, but it's not really. The girls involved deserve protection and support. Go to the police. It's the only option and the right thing to do.

Hi OP

Use your phone to copy the conversations by taking a photo

Ring the police on the girls behalf - an adult needs to step in

Don’t be a passive parent if schools rent dealing with it

Tell the girls parents as well - they will be relived