Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Not having larger for MIL... ?

710 replies

Bibijayne · 02/03/2019 08:57

MIL came to stay for a couple of nights this weekend. She has just stormed off upset this morning because my husband didn't offer her a larger last night (we don't have any!)

We have a 6 month old. And were never the biggest drinkers before. Last night my sister and BIL invaded briefly (unexpected but pleasant) because she wanted to celebrate her first pay cheque since getting a big promotion. Her hubbie was driving - so only on lemonade. She had a nice bottle of whisky. She had a single shot (measured) as did my husband and I. She offered a shot to my MIL but my MIL said she doesn't like whisky.

Unbeknownst to me, she asked my DH if we had anything else. We mostly have some spirits (literally not touched in over a year... Most unopened) and a couple of bottles of wine (saved for a special occasion and bought on our honeymoon 18 months ago. Plan was to open one on our anniversary later this year). He said what we had (not much). She asked if we had any beer or larger. He said no (we don't, but there's a very nice beer and larger shop about 3 minutes walk from our house. So if we fancy something we just go and buy a single bottle). He said we had tea, coffee, squash and lemonade too.

This morning, we come down. DH wanders into the kitchen (she's been up for a bit, but not really said hi. We've been feeding and wrangling the small person. He's breastfed, so I fed him upstairs). She then gets massively emotional. All I can hear is her saying (tearfully) 'I don't want to impose' before running for the door, with my husband chasing after her begging her to stay.

I am flabbergasted and ask if it was us asking about the latch (5 mins before I'd noticed she'd left the front door open after going for a fag. Before then going out the back door. We're fairly centrally located in a biggish city and this is a security issue! She's used to living in a village, DH said he'd mention it. I thought she may have overheard and been offended. Though not sure why :/ )

DH then explains that she felt we were policing her alcohol consumption. And she wasn't welcome because he said we had no larger...

She turned her phone off and drove off. So DH hasn't been able to get hold of her.

Really not sure what on Earth is going on!

OP posts:
FudgeBrownie2019 · 02/03/2019 09:00

She sounds like a child. As awful as it is, I'd let her go, stay quiet and wait til she gets in touch. Then I'd point out to her that hysterics over booze are the height of ridiculousness and you don't expect it to happen again.

ThanosSavedMe · 02/03/2019 09:01

If there’s a shop a few minutes away, why didn’t your dh go and get her some beers in. She probably felt judged and unwanted.

Whenever we have guests staying, we get in what they like.

Banjax · 02/03/2019 09:03

I would have trotted out to the shop for my mum, I think that;s poor form

SoyDora · 02/03/2019 09:04

Well clearly that is bat shit crazy behaviour on behalf of your MIL.
However if I was hosting and knew she drank lager I’d have got some in for her.

LadyRochfordsSpangledGusset · 02/03/2019 09:04

Thought this was about MIL's weight at first Grin.

SoyDora · 02/03/2019 09:04

Or popped out to get her some when she asked.

LagunaBubbles · 02/03/2019 09:05

Why didn't your DH just go to the shop and get her some? Confused

Mmmmbrekkie · 02/03/2019 09:06

It all sounds weird tbh

Mil
Dh
And how very keen you are to stress what a moderate drinker you are (“measured” whiskey; the “single” bottle of wine you buy; the “unopened spirits”)

As I say, all a bit ofd

LagunaBubbles · 02/03/2019 09:07

But your title made me laugh, I thought you were going to talk about your larger MIL!

Dauphinois · 02/03/2019 09:07

I suspect that for whatever reason she felt a bit unwelcome and it's not really all about the lager at all.

LagunaBubbles · 02/03/2019 09:08

Mmmbrekkie has made a good point to about your attitude to alcohol in your house.

OftenHangry · 02/03/2019 09:08

I get her. I am a lager fan (certain foreign brands) and i don't drink spirits.
He could have just popped into the shop for her since it's 3 min walk... Actually he should have.

SoyDora · 02/03/2019 09:08

Be honest, do you judge her alcohol consumption? You were very keen in your post to point out how little you drink and how controlled your consumption is.

wishingitwasfriday · 02/03/2019 09:09

You aren't very good hosts if you refuse to get some lager in for your mil. Why didn't your husband walk the 3mins to the 'nice' lager and beer shop and buy some cans for her, rather than expecting her to walk there alone at night.
Also, why is it ok for your sister to drink neat whisky but not ok for your mil to want a lager?

Whatsnewpussyhat · 02/03/2019 09:09

Next time she can bring her own or pop the bloody shop. So childish

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 02/03/2019 09:09

Why didn't you buy the drink she likes?

CherieBabySpliffUp · 02/03/2019 09:10

I agree with other posters. I would have gone out and got some for my DM in that situation

OftenHangry · 02/03/2019 09:10

Also. Who the hell measures whisky when pouring it at home 😂

PersonaNonGarter · 02/03/2019 09:10

It is all a bit weird and only you will know if this is typical or could be hormonal or brought on by something entirely unrelated to the evening.

Bit weird though. She can bring her own booze if that’s what she wants presumably?

Meandwinealone · 02/03/2019 09:11

Clearly she felt judged
She might be overreacting or you might have actually made her feel like that.

If I was your DH I would have got something in I knew she liked (amazed he didn’t know) or run up the shop as soon as she said she didn’t want whiskey

Vivaldi1678 · 02/03/2019 09:12

You don't like your MIL do you, and she probably realises this.

SoyDora · 02/03/2019 09:12

Next time she can bring her own or pop the bloody shop. So childish

While her storming off is very childish behaviour, I do think if you’re hosting someone you make sure you get in the things they to drink, and if a guest asked for something in particular that I didn’t have but could easily get for them, I’d do it.
We don’t drink tea but my mum does by the gallon so I always make sure we have tea bags in for her. My dad drinks lager so if he was coming we’d buy lager. His partner drinks rose wine, so I get a bottle in. IL’s drink red wine, so we provide that when they stay.

rainbowstardrops · 02/03/2019 09:12

It's a bit off having your MIL to stay but not getting any drink in because I assume you and your DH knows that she drinks lager? At least get some wine in that you don't mind opening and not stashing for yourselves.

Having said that, your MIL's behaviour this morning is a bit weird. I can only assume that there is more to this and that your MIL is feeling very wanted.
If you didn't get her tipple of choice in, didn't offer to go and get some from the shop three minutes away, moaned about a bloody latch on a door then I'll hazard a guess that other things have been said too or at least actions and behaviour to make her feel unwelcome.

I'm sure you'll find out soon

pickleface · 02/03/2019 09:13

And you were going to allow her a 'single bottle' of beer? Very odd behaviour.

FierceMother · 02/03/2019 09:13

What a pathetic tantrum over LAGER.
(No R in it. 😋)

Your mil sounds mental.
I do make sure I have in what visitors like but her tantrum was ridiculous.