Not having larger for MIL... ?

[Bibijayne]

MIL came to stay for a couple of nights this weekend. She has just stormed off upset this morning because my husband didn't offer her a larger last night (we don't have any!)

We have a 6 month old. And were never the biggest drinkers before. Last night my sister and BIL invaded briefly (unexpected but pleasant) because she wanted to celebrate her first pay cheque since getting a big promotion. Her hubbie was driving - so only on lemonade. She had a nice bottle of whisky. She had a single shot (measured) as did my husband and I. She offered a shot to my MIL but my MIL said she doesn't like whisky.

Unbeknownst to me, she asked my DH if we had anything else. We mostly have some spirits (literally not touched in over a year... Most unopened) and a couple of bottles of wine (saved for a special occasion and bought on our honeymoon 18 months ago. Plan was to open one on our anniversary later this year). He said what we had (not much). She asked if we had any beer or larger. He said no (we don't, but there's a very nice beer and larger shop about 3 minutes walk from our house. So if we fancy something we just go and buy a single bottle). He said we had tea, coffee, squash and lemonade too.

This morning, we come down. DH wanders into the kitchen (she's been up for a bit, but not really said hi. We've been feeding and wrangling the small person. He's breastfed, so I fed him upstairs). She then gets massively emotional. All I can hear is her saying (tearfully) 'I don't want to impose' before running for the door, with my husband chasing after her begging her to stay.

I am flabbergasted and ask if it was us asking about the latch (5 mins before I'd noticed she'd left the front door open after going for a fag. Before then going out the back door. We're fairly centrally located in a biggish city and this is a security issue! She's used to living in a village, DH said he'd mention it. I thought she may have overheard and been offended. Though not sure why :/ )

DH then explains that she felt we were policing her alcohol consumption. And she wasn't welcome because he said we had no larger...

She turned her phone off and drove off. So DH hasn't been able to get hold of her.

Really not sure what on Earth is going on!

I know I said earlier o think you and your do were bad hosts, but I’ve changed my mind now. It’s his MUM, should you really be ‘hosting’ family that close.
I’d get stuff in that my mum/mil likes, but equally if they wanted a drink they’d just go and get one. In fact, they’d be helping out, bathing baby for me, or cleaning up while I bathed baby, not sitting twiddling their thumbs upset no one was paying attention. Very odd

@Bignosenobum try reading OP's posts. They answer all your questions and assumptions.

We only know your side of the story so we can’t really know that she over reacted, after all, you were upstairs the following morning and just caught the end of the conversation. She may well have asked her son for lager but why is this a problem? He should have got her some if the shop is only 3 mins down the road. I babysat my nephew and niece overnight a while back and they got me a little bottle of rose for in case I fancied a drink. That was really thoughtful.

#edited# I skipped a lot in between so I believe he did offer to go to the shop for her, there’s something here going on that we are all missing. Did I read something about her hubby? Maybe she just wanted to have a nice relaxed time with you and it didn’t go to plan for her. You’ve got a lot on your plate with a baby too but you weren’t there for the whole conversation so we don’t know how she actually did react.

@AnnaMagnani

This comment:
I am guessing the MIL is the sort of person that says 'don't go to any bother' when she really means 'absolutely go to some bother'.

While the OP and her DH hear 'don't go to any bother' and don't go to any bother.**

😂😂😂**
Typical woman after all.
You should have understood OP

Jeez, OP - you poor thing! You have been as good a 'host' as anyone normal could expect!

You have;
Been given a matter of hours to prepare for MIL visit,
Gone out and bought her usual drink - ie a bottle of her preferred make of prosecco, which in the local shop only comes in small bottles. (lots of posters on this thread have berated you for not going out to get her preferred drink (which is NOT lager!) even when you actually did just that)
Been welcoming and happy to your sister, who also dropped by with little- to no- notice
Stretched a 3-person meal to a 5person meal
whilst wrangling the small baby
and pouring drinks for the happy event.
(What was DH doing in all this? Or is it all jsut a female job?)

What you have not done -

been involved in the convo your MIL had with her own son, regarding MIL not drinking whiskey, and your DH offering a choice of whatever was in this house of non-drinkers. HE did not remember the Prosecco. SHE did not at this stage express a desire for anything offered.

The next morning, MIL decided to be upset that the previous night she should have been offered Lager, even though she's never been known to drink it. And this was unacceptable to her (and to many on this thread, it seems, who think OP should have a) been a mind reader, even on a conversation she was not part of, and b) she should have stopped child wrangling, cooking, pouring and hosting, and gone to the shop for something the MIL hadn't even requested)

OP - this is not your problem. Carry on bathing your baby when you want to, and when the routine is. Carry on leaving MIL to your DH. Carry on hosting as you do. It's fine. To most NORMAL people.

It's odd that MIL seems to consider herself 'family' when she wants to just drop in for a weekend, but a 'Guest' when she wants to be waited on.
And incidentally, if Sister knows to bring her own booze to drink at OPs house on occasion, why doesn't MIL?

Look on reddit, justnomil it's a category for unreasonable MILs. From what you have posted in your main post and also your comments further it seems that she is being a bit of a CF. Definitely have a look on that subreddit though, what you have described seems like a post that would fit in well on there! Maybe post on there? You might get a better reception than on here.

I think this thread is slowly disappearing up it’s own bumhole.

Its. Its. Blimmin autocorrect