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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DS doing drugs...

201 replies

missjacks · 01/03/2019 21:52

Hi,

Really just posting here for traffic I'm going to be honest.

Anyone else have a 16 y/o and please can you tell me realistically how common you think smoking weed is of this current generation of teens.

I have been worried for a while DS is playing with recreational drugs and basically have caught him (DH found a video on social media and everything spiralled from there). DS is very blaze and assures us "everyone is smoking weed"...

Mumsnet... what do you reckon?
Obviously i know it isn't everyone... however the school seems to think this is "very common in teens at the moment" as well ?! Confused not sure if this is widespread or just my area.

Thanks

OP posts:
whatacrapusername2306 · 01/03/2019 21:57

I was just commenting on another thread in regards to this. My DD came home one night this week completely mashed out of her brain on weed. She hangs about with lads who do it all the time. My two closest friends have teenage boys and have both admitted to knowing their sons are smoking weed regularly. Sadly it’s rife in her age group.

SweetAsSpice · 01/03/2019 21:58

Teens have been smoking weed since time began.

Difference is, nowadays it's the super strength skunk which is more available, which can fuck with your brain, particularly that of a developing teenager.

What dialogue have you had with your son about it? I would be concerned with what he is smoking (strength wise) and how he is funding it.

MiGi777 · 01/03/2019 21:59

My eldest two tried it a couple of times, a lot of their friends do it regularly. Mostly my daughter friends, she's 19 and luckily she's into healthy clean living so she doesn't like it but doesn't see a problem with her friends doing it. My sons in with a crowd that just don't bother with it although they have a good drink at times-I'm not sure which is worse. But yes, very common and unless he's smoking so much it ruins his motivation to do anything I wouldn't worry too much although no parent wants their children to be taking drugs whether it's weed, alcohol or cigarettes. Hope this helps a little bit. 💐

whatacrapusername2306 · 01/03/2019 22:02

The music that they all listen too (without sounding like my mother!) glorifies it. Parents of teenagers will know exactly what type of music I am talking about.

officeworker36 · 01/03/2019 22:03

I used to smoke it every so often when I was at school as well as trying things like Speed and Poppers. Largely due to peer pressure, but I had the sense to be in control of my life and I stayed away from certain people when I needed to.

I wasn't heavily involved in the group though, I just drifted in and out of different circles.

If it's any consolation, the people I know who used to do it at school all seem to healthy mature adults with their own families now. I know that doesn't stop you worrying right now though

IWonderedLonelyAsACloud · 01/03/2019 22:06

Im head of yr11. I have 160 16 year olds in my year group. I can categorically tell you that less than 10% of the kids in my year group are regularly smoking weed. We know the ones that are. Drinking at parties is common, most of them drink at parties and it is facilitated by parents. So I could understand him saying 'everyone drinks'. But drugs sre different. The kids that smoke weed recreactionally are not the ones who are focussed on exams and doing well at school. They are the ones who are apathetic, immature and likely to underachieving and fail to make it into their 1st choice collage. They are the ones at risk of 'County Lines' grooming and have their priorities all wrong. Your son is talking nonsense and is risking his future. My brother started smoking weed at a similar age and is now 27, bipolar and has never managed to stay in a job longer than 6 weeks. In your position, Id do everything in my power to educate my kid to stop him behaving like a sheep and start focussing on his future.

Hayden555 · 01/03/2019 22:06

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Original poster
missjacks · 01/03/2019 22:13

I'd like to know how you can tell I have "poor parental control" just from my first message.

Dialogue with him is tricky, he's a bit of a brat at the moment! But obviously DH and I have had loads of conversations with him about it. Since I became concerned about it I have tried to talk to him quite a lot and he was always non committal or totally denied it... he admitted drinking but if he ever came home smelling of weed would assure me it wasn't him smoking it.

However since the video we got him to admit to it and he has now become pretty defensive, he just says it's only at parties and he isn't a stoner and we don't need to worry! We will keep working on him but if you have a teenager you know how easy it is to be frozen out!

I was just after opinions on how common it is though, not a critique of my top parenting! Wink

OP posts:
Thatsnotmyotter · 01/03/2019 22:13

I feel like it’s less common than when I was 16 (10 years ago) tbh. Nowadays everyone is too busy spending 6 hours troweling on makeup to take selfies (and I’m assuming there is a male equivalent). The main difference is that 10 years ago a bit of weed was fairly inoffensive but it seems to be getting stronger and stronger in recent years.

Parky04 · 01/03/2019 22:16

DC19 and DC17 do not smoke weed
They also do not drink either. They certainly do not take after their DF!!

LellowYedbetter · 01/03/2019 22:16

Hayden - you sound like a judgemental cunt

OP - Yes, lots of teens do weed. Some then go on to taking harder drugs as a result. Be vigilant and good luck

Thatsnotmyotter · 01/03/2019 22:16

The kids that smoke weed recreactionally are not the ones who are focussed on exams and doing well at school. They are the ones who are apathetic, immature and likely to underachieving and fail to make it into their 1st choice collage.

Most of the people I smoked weed with as a teenager now have degrees and professional jobs 🙄 I’m not saying all will go on to be lawyers but you seem to be massively generalising there.

Merename · 01/03/2019 22:16

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Hayden555 · 01/03/2019 22:17

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Hayden555 · 01/03/2019 22:19

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Chocolate35 · 01/03/2019 22:21

I think it’s common to try it. My DD is in year 11, she’s tried it along with cigarettes but luckily isn’t interested. She occasionally has alcohol at people’s houses where parents are present. She says there are a few people in her year who smoke it regularly and they are the ones that are generally underachieving. You can’t watch him 24/7 but I’d limit his money and try as best as you can to keep educating him.

whatacrapusername2306 · 01/03/2019 22:23

Thanks Hayden for telling us all how shit we all are. My DD comes from a loving stable home, strong morals, good education etc not your stereotypical weed user. She earns her own money and pays for her own phone and clothes. How exactly to you punish that?

LellowYedbetter · 01/03/2019 22:23

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whatacrapusername2306 · 01/03/2019 22:24

*do

DesolationCrow · 01/03/2019 22:24

How old are your kids, Hayden?
There is nothing you can do apart from educate them to the dangers and hope they make right choices.

Its not the parents fault. Its the fucking teens who are rebelling and hurting themselves and their families.

PregnantSea · 01/03/2019 22:27

I think it is really common these days for teenagers to smoke weed. Regardless, that doesn't mean you have to be ok with your DS doing it. Ban it from the house. Tell him he can do whatever he wants when he moves out and is paying his own way.

Hayden555 · 01/03/2019 22:27

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Hayden555 · 01/03/2019 22:28

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Hayden555 · 01/03/2019 22:29

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Lovingbenidorm · 01/03/2019 22:30

Mine haven’t and don’t drink either.
We’ve all been there, and maybe I’m being an old fashioned fart here but isn’t it all happening so young now?
16 is a tricky age but please don’t accept the’everyones doing it’ shite.
I would come down on mine like a major effing tornado if I caught them doing that and I certainly wouldn’t accept they all 16yo are doing the same
They’re not
Good luck

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