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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DS doing drugs...

201 replies

missjacks · 01/03/2019 21:52

Hi,

Really just posting here for traffic I'm going to be honest.

Anyone else have a 16 y/o and please can you tell me realistically how common you think smoking weed is of this current generation of teens.

I have been worried for a while DS is playing with recreational drugs and basically have caught him (DH found a video on social media and everything spiralled from there). DS is very blaze and assures us "everyone is smoking weed"...

Mumsnet... what do you reckon?
Obviously i know it isn't everyone... however the school seems to think this is "very common in teens at the moment" as well ?! Confused not sure if this is widespread or just my area.

Thanks

OP posts:
InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 01/03/2019 23:58

Mmm you're probably right, dammit

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 01/03/2019 23:59

Gout! Nice touch

Myothercarisalsoshit · 02/03/2019 00:00

I think she's finally passed out now.

Cheetahssitonfajitas · 02/03/2019 00:00

Also, has no kids. Actually hates kids, thinks they're noisy and smelly. Betcha.

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 02/03/2019 00:01

Ooh....she's gone? Thank Christ.

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 02/03/2019 00:02

Definitely hates kids.

Lovingbenidorm · 02/03/2019 00:06

I was thinking young single mum.
Angry and upset
Kids in care
Bad night, lashing out

RosemaryHoight · 02/03/2019 00:31

I'm a bit older, now, but apparently the skunk we had in the early ninties was stronger than it had ever been.

I think keeping an open mind and a free conversation is the best thing.

NunoGoncalves · 02/03/2019 00:39

Yes I think it is very common and fairly harmless to smoke a bit of weed every now and then, OP. I did when I was 16 and lots of my friends did too.

I guess as a parent I would be worried if I thought it was too regular. Every now and then at a party – no big deal.

wishingforalotterywin · 02/03/2019 01:03

www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-47390970

ZippyBungleandGeorge · 02/03/2019 01:17

I was 16 16 years ago and at sixth form it was fairly common but usually cannabis resin back then (puff/solid) so not as psychoactive add the strains of skunk around now. What I would say is that the people I knew back then even the regular stoners are now respectable educated professionals, keep trying to talk to him OP, especially about the impact of videos like that reaching social media and the lasting legacy of that in terms of employment etc. As long as he's not checked out day to day, it probably is just social/occasional at parties etc.

RockinHippy · 02/03/2019 02:55

I think it depends a lot in where you live. I'm in a city & yes, I would say that it's pretty much the norm at 16 & often starts quite a bit younger.

That said it seems the majority of them are sensible & it's very occasionally during holidays, after a stressful term etc. It's definitely not regular use & I'm taking the tactic of neither condoning it, nor reprimanding DD for it, but keeping an open dialogue so I can keep an eye on it. It's impossible to keep her away from it, it's everywhere here. I prefer that she learns to be around it safely, & so far her & the kids she knows are very much doing okay & policing themselves really well. .

RockinHippy · 02/03/2019 02:56

Oh & these are definitely the kids that are very focused on their exams...

IWonderedLonelyAsACloud · 02/03/2019 06:58

To the posters criticising my post - I am speaking from (considerable) experience - as I said in my post, I am Head of Yr 11 - so if the OPs son were at my school, he would be in my year group. It is a fact that, at my school, the kids smoking weed are not the ones focused on exams. There is a huge difference between a 15-16 year old dabbling in drugs and a 19 year old at uni. I also said in my post, my own brother started young and has had serious issues with his mental health as a result. Finally, I have plenty of life experience, thanks. Im 36, been teaching for 15 years and a HOY for 12. The op asked for opinions, I gave her mine. No need for personal attacks just because you either disagree or dont like it.

Babygrey7 · 02/03/2019 07:20

Not all 16 yr olds smoke weed

According to my teens it's mainly the "cool kids"/"popular kids" who go to parties a lot.

Lots of geeky kids who don't drink or smoke (I was one myself Grin)

Fiveredbricks · 02/03/2019 07:28

It's not just weed though anymore. It's skunk. Here some of the dealers ever lace it with with a bit of smack unbeknown to the smoker to ensure a little repeat custom. It's fucking grim.

Fiveredbricks · 02/03/2019 07:33

Really @ZippyBungleandGeorge? Because all the full time stoners I know from back then are either dead - 4 from suicide (not a joke) or are still stoners and aspired to agency factory line jobs they can't even keep down. 2 maybe went on to better lives and one only because he landed a job as a nighttime security guard so no one knows he skins up at work 🙄

The stoner kids these days are rarely just having a few puff puff passes or one night a month of getting mashed. It's from the moment they wake up and probably 6 joints a day.

mrsjackrussell · 02/03/2019 07:34

I live in a middle class area and my son has smoked it and still now smokes it now and again at 17.
When he was 15 he got addicted to it and I didn't know until he told me a few months after that he realised he had a problem so he had ditched all the friends he hung about with so he could get off it.
A teacher at his school told me that there's a huge problem in the area with it and lots of kids at school on it.
You can't physically stop a 16 Yr old doing it but speak to a teacher maybe someone in pastoral care so they can have a chat with him.

berrybubbles · 02/03/2019 07:39

If they’re 16 then it’s a lot better than if they were in the realms of 12/13. I’ve met people who were unfortunately forced to smoke it by older siblings at the tender age of 8 and to put it simply, they aren’t doing great! They still have a fairly normal life but I feel it’s affected the way they view the world and how they respond to things. They’re extremely behind, almost 30 and no real career/home or family. My mother enabled me smoking it from 16. I feel that it hasn’t affected me in life that much as I do creative arts and it’s all very ‘hippie’ anyway. Sounds stupid to most but those who have smoked it will understand! I do however feel like it’s killed my natural dopamine as I struggle to feel genuine happiness. Have you seen the CBD flowers/buds that you can buy? It’s worth speaking to your DS about it as it’s legal and completely safe. I wish it was available when I was younger!

BuildAParsnip · 02/03/2019 07:57

My dc aren't old enough yet but I know of five people who got too far into skunk in my day and who are now dead through suicide, or have serious mental health problems.

A couple of the parents were keen to be cool (we thought they were trying too hard obviously) and let their kids smoke at home. I think they were incredibly naive and are now sadly paying dearly with kids so mentally damaged that they cannot work or function properly in an adult world.

Obviously there are exceptions but I'm glad my mum gave us firm boundaries, even if I disliked it at the time.

JustAnotherPoster00 · 02/03/2019 08:04

DS1 & DS2 have both used weed, I know DS2 has used other drugs because he's open with me and knows I tried drugs as a teenager so hes able to come to me and we have an understanding that he does things in moderation, never too often and be aware from who he gets his drugs from. Education and understanding are the only way to make sure your kids will stay safe

To me its an argument of regulation, If weed and other 'soft' drugs were legal and regulated it would not only mean more money for the treasury but it would take peoples lives out of the hands of dealers who dont care about the quality or strength of the drug just the money, if it was regulated people could make an informed choice as to the strength they use.

When my kids where teens and had a party to go to I would buy them alcohol, no more than a few beers to take with them, they were always sent to the party with the advice of 'dont do too many spirits, try them if you want but remember its going to be a lot stronger than the beer' alcohol is legal and regulated so youre able to make an informed choice to the strength you want to ingest, if you look to the time of prohibition in the states were illegal alcohol was being sold barely any of the alcohol produced was beer, spirits were the chosen alcohol by the 'dealers' stronger - more bang for your buck so to speak and easier to contaminate the supply by adding in impurities/cutting medium 'at the time it was ethanol used' which turned people blind but did the bootleggers care, of course not

The only reason weed was seen as a gateway drug was because dealers want to make profit, a 10 bag of weed is a 10 bag of weed, a 10 bag of coke or speed would be mainly cutting agent so more profit for the dealer and 'customers' would be encouraged to get something else if the weed had run out.

Sorry for the rambly post, i'll go back to lurking

ASauvignonADay · 02/03/2019 08:08

OP, I haven't RTWT but I work in a secondary school and smoking weed is pretty common. Much more than drinking alcohol. And it seems to start in year 9. Obviously it is really worrying but in some respects, I'd rather they were doing that than going out, getting rowdy and pissed and putting themselves at risk.

LoniceraJaponica · 02/03/2019 10:01

I think a lot of the ex weed smokers on here are missing the point that a lot of "weed" available nowadays isn't the harmless fun stuff they used to smoke. We have a weed problem in our local "naice" market town, and it is causing loads of problems. The other night a load of youths high on skunk and alcohol rampaged through the town damaging cars and property. The police were involved.

Also, the teachers on here are saying that the children they know who regularly partake aren't performing well at school. Why would you not believe them?

I hope that I have been sensible with DD on the subject. I have basically said that in principle I don't disapprove of her trying it, but as it is illegal and therefore unregulated, and as she currently volunteers with vulnerable people, and wants to work with them she doesn't want to fall foul of any future DBS checks.

headinhands · 02/03/2019 10:08

My kids are wee but I think I’d have more fears about them drinking heavily

Absolutely!

ThePants999 · 02/03/2019 13:57

Disappointed to have missed Hayden's rantings...

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