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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DS doing drugs...

201 replies

missjacks · 01/03/2019 21:52

Hi,

Really just posting here for traffic I'm going to be honest.

Anyone else have a 16 y/o and please can you tell me realistically how common you think smoking weed is of this current generation of teens.

I have been worried for a while DS is playing with recreational drugs and basically have caught him (DH found a video on social media and everything spiralled from there). DS is very blaze and assures us "everyone is smoking weed"...

Mumsnet... what do you reckon?
Obviously i know it isn't everyone... however the school seems to think this is "very common in teens at the moment" as well ?! Confused not sure if this is widespread or just my area.

Thanks

OP posts:
Sophisticatedsarcasm · 01/03/2019 22:45

Back when I was 15/16 (15 years ago) it was all the rage to smoke weed, I was literally the only one that didn’t. I didn’t realise it was a big thing with this generation... my cousin who’s 19 he smokes it and so does my 22 year old stepbrother. I don’t have a problem with it, they never smoke in front of the kids.

RickOShay · 01/03/2019 22:46

It’s rife where i live.
Dd has definitely tried it. I keep saying it’s not a lifestyle choice Grin

DesolationCrow · 01/03/2019 22:46

Bullshit, Hayden.

Good parents sometimes are lumbered with absolutely awful, heartbreaking children.

Ive one great one. One absolute nightmare. Same parenting.

I hope you are faced with the reality of you can sometimes do everything right, and they reject everything you ever did for them. And pot does not help, but there really isnt much you can do about it.

BrokenWing · 01/03/2019 22:46

Definitely depends on area. Ds is aware of friends of friends who smoke weed but it's still a very small minority in S3-S6, probably well below 10%.

I wouldn't accept it's common or everyone does it as an excuse.

Lovingbenidorm · 01/03/2019 22:46

At the party in the corner with Hayden blushing.😳
Timing is everything, don’t condone all Haden’s posts!

MiGi777 · 01/03/2019 22:47

Oh my god! Did she just have a total freak out or what? I can't believe that. 😂😂😂

Hayden555 · 01/03/2019 22:47

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InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 01/03/2019 22:48

Say what lovingbenidorm?

purpleboy · 01/03/2019 22:48

Actually I agree with Haden parents should definitely be taking some of the responsibility. If you child is taking illegal drugs then you should be doing something about it before it's too late, especially if they are living under your roof your rules, and I say that with years of experience of drug using and the serious damage it does all stemming from 'just smoking a little weed' There is plenty you can do before it gets too far, but the responses on here suggest it's not deemed a serious problem! As for calling someone a Cunt it's absolutely disgusting and you should be ashamed, by all means disagree but I guarantee you would not say that to their face!

LellowYedbetter · 01/03/2019 22:49

Bless you Hayden, you’re so cute!

damekindness · 01/03/2019 22:49

I've got three kids all have tried/still smoke weed from about 16 or maybe even before. I took a pretty liberal approach - we talked about it and I didn't approve or disapprove (didn't let them smoke at home -smell makes me feel nauseous) I felt the most important thing was always to keep lines of communication open so that if they got into trouble with any drugs or whatever they could ask for help. It was pretty endemic in their friendship groups and I didn't think I could prevent them going out and smoking weed so I took a harm reduction approach

They range from mid twenties to thirties all hold down full time professional careers, stable relationships and are a pleasure to spend time with

CallMeRachel · 01/03/2019 22:49

@Hayden555 piss off and stop derailing the thread- you clearly have no business on this subject so off you pop. Biscuit

@missjacks I have a 16 yo ds who smokes weed. I posted about his habit actually a couple of months ago as I was very concerned. Amongst his group of 5 close friends- they all smoke it. All boys. There's 4 girls also in their group and they don't seem to smoke it. All are involved in drinking at parties etc, which I would regard as normal.

I think it's become normal to the point that they don't believe it's actually illegal. I don't think all the campaigns for it to be legalised is helping matters. I'm against it generally and have never smoked it. Anything I have found in my house to do with it - Rizlas, tabs, storage jar, papers I dispose of as I find.

I think teens will do what they want regardless but it's better to know what they're doing.

One thing that's made my ds think is the possibility of not getting driving lessons for his 17th birthday if he is still smoking it.

I think everything in life is a phase and as long as there's no other issues and he's doing okay at school and still functioning day to day it will pass.

RickOShay · 01/03/2019 22:49

Hear Hear desolationcrow
Do you have teens Hayden?

woodlands01 · 01/03/2019 22:49

I'm not a head of year 11 but I am a secondary school teacher. I am also a teenage parent. In my experience MANY (not most?? I don't know, I can't quantify) teenage boys (in particular, some girls too but girls normally drink) are smoking weed. It is absolutely rife in my school , very successful middle class comp, and also in my son's school. It is not just those who are disinterested in school, it is across the board including those who are vulnerable, those who have issues and those who are successful. The peer pressure is incredible.

My DS has smoked weed. He now isn't - as far as I know, maybe at parties. There is a history of low self confience and finding social interaction difficult. Hayden it is very easy to blame parenting. I am a good parent ( that is not my deinition but anyone who knows me would tell you that) with boundaries, actually my kid might be messed up - he is very sad and uncommunicative at times. It breaks my heart. I think I have failed . I leave all the good parents with easy children to pat themselves on the back and slag the rest of us off.

MrsTommyBanks · 01/03/2019 22:50

2 out of my 3 went through a phase of using weed.
They have both come out the other end and are pleasant useful members of society now. With good careers and mortgages and all that shizzle.

Sophisticatedsarcasm · 01/03/2019 22:50

@hayden
That’s bullshit.... I didn’t have a lot of boundaries, my parents were pretty laid back, I’ve never done drugs, don’t smoke and haven’t drunk since I was 16 and I’ve never been drunk, my brother either. I had kids at my school whose parents had mental boundaries and they ended up rebelling and are complete messes. One girl was a little goody two shoes at school, left school went to college and nearly had slept through ha,f the town in a year. It’s all down to wether you can withstand peer pressure. It always boils down the the pressures of the society you live in.

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 01/03/2019 22:50

'Took care of the issue'? What bollocks are you talking now Hayden. Honestly. Shut it.

LellowYedbetter · 01/03/2019 22:51

PurpleBoy, you don’t know me.

Slagging off someone’s parenting when you don’t know the back story is cuntish behaviour.

DesolationCrow · 01/03/2019 22:51

Haha purpleboy, I would definitely call Hayden a cunt to her face if she suggested my parenting was to blame for my daughters teenage behavior and self destructive rebellion

Hayden, stop sniffing the glue, dear. Cool story, bro...

Cheetahssitonfajitas · 01/03/2019 22:53

I don't know about teens currently, but when I was 16 (22 years ago) we all smoked weed. Not daily, but whenever we all got together in a group. Not everyone did of course but it certainly wasn't uncommon.

Hayden555 · 01/03/2019 22:53

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Cheetahssitonfajitas · 01/03/2019 22:54

Ah and my parents were pretty strict, but I just never told them.

ShrinkWrap · 01/03/2019 22:54

@hayden I don’t think you quite deserve all the vitriol you are getting on here, but you do seem to have a rather superficial and simplistic view of the issues.

LellowYedbetter · 01/03/2019 22:55

Hayden, do you do stand up? I’d pay to watch you 😁

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 01/03/2019 22:55

Oh he or she definitely does deserve it shrinkwrap