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Original poster

To expect my girlfriend to be less angry about my son

207 replies

niceguyjames82 · 01/03/2019 19:58

Hello all, my first ever thread-
My gf and I have been with eachother the past 2 years. I have a son from another relationship who’s 3. I fought for him through court for about and year and got 3/4 weekends with him. My partner is quite resentful of the lack of time that we have with eachother. We have all week and every enening ( fri and sat when child is in bed) but I understand that it’s hard. I just really want us to do things together. And make the most of the weekends.
When we got together she knew that I had a son and I was fighting for him. She is a very kind hard working person but I think work stress is now making her take it out on me.,
She’s making me decide to cut down on the time I have with him. Is this fair? I love them both but I can’t just cut down time with my child can I? Help?

OP posts:
MissMudskipper · 01/03/2019 20:19

You mentioned she was kind in your post OP. Would a kind person really try and make you decide between you and your son??

SleepDeprivedCabbageBrain · 01/03/2019 20:20

I'm so sorry, that sucks. You are obviously not compatible. I couldn't imagine being with someone who wanted me to see my kid less.

MzHz · 01/03/2019 20:22

She’s resentful of him now, after 5 minutes, it will only get worse.

Trust us, we know what we’re talking about. End it now, today. This very minute. Do not waste a single second with someone who would even consider telling you to reduce the long fought time with your little boy.

She is not a nice person, she’s not somebody you keep in your life

JRMisOdious · 01/03/2019 20:22

At 3, your son definitely comes first. If she can’t cope with that she’s not the one. Sorry, must be really hard.

Gone4Good · 01/03/2019 20:23

I couldn't love someone who was getting between my child and me.

YogaWannabe · 01/03/2019 20:26

Put your child first and get rid

kaytee87 · 01/03/2019 20:27

Your child has to come first.

AWishForWingsThatWork · 01/03/2019 20:27

Kind people don't try to force you to spend less time with your child, a 3 year old you already ONLY see for 6 days a month, essentially.

What if you had children with her? You'd ALWAYS have them... please don't do this, btw, she's clearly not parent material.

Dump her. I think you know you have to dump her. Your child has to come first.

And don't introduce any future partners until you have an actual relationship and an understanding that of course your existing child has to come first.

SaucyJack · 01/03/2019 20:29

There are 3.7 billion women in the world you could potentially go out with, but you only have one son.

You must put him first.

perci08 · 01/03/2019 20:29

Your partner knew from the start you had a son and you were clear on this. Therefore it is unfair of her to 'resent time spent' with your son. Your son your flesh and blood. Your son was there before your partner! Your son is your priority and your partner should be understanding about this. However, you could look at things you could do all together rather than just you and him; be inclusive. It is hard being a co-parent but the more you discuss and talk things over the better things can turn out.

Missingstreetlife · 01/03/2019 20:30

Why not eow and a night in the week? Doesn't his mum want to have him some weekends too? If there's is a good reason she is unreasonable. Kids come first esp at this age

cheaperthebetter · 01/03/2019 20:30

3 weekends out of 4 and she wants you to cut down the time , that you went to court and jumped through hoops for no doubt!

She is...🤔...Hmmm....🤔
Selfish
Jealous
Delusional
Narcissist (hiding in the making)
*Manipulative

Leave The B*. itch

QUICKLY TOO!...Grin

DeloresJaneUmbridge · 01/03/2019 20:31

Absolutely your son takes priority.

If I was in the market for a new partner and they had a child then that child would be very much part of the deal.

Missnearlyvintage · 01/03/2019 20:31

Your loyalties lie with your Son in this situation, if I were you I would protect the relationship with him at all costs. You don't have that much time with your Son as it is.

If your GF can't support you in this then the relationship with her may have to give in order to maintain the relationship with your Son.

BollocksToBrexit · 01/03/2019 20:32

She resents your son and is jealous of the time he gets to spend with. How can you carry on a relationship with someone whose attitude will do serious long term damage to your child? Kids aren't stupid. Even little ones know when they're not wanted.

YoungChrone · 01/03/2019 20:33

You and your child are part of a package. And that’s that.

user1473878824 · 01/03/2019 20:33

OP I’m really sorry she’s put you in this situation. But I think you know what you have to do.

Livelovebehappy · 01/03/2019 20:33

Surprised you have to come on a forum for advice on this tbh. I would imagine any decent parent would know the answer straight away. I suspect from the way you have worded your post that you’re sitting on the fence which makes me feel really sorry for your poor dc.

BollocksToBrexit · 01/03/2019 20:33

*jealous of the time he spends with YOU

BumbleBeee69 · 01/03/2019 20:34

Keep your Child

Ditch the GF

kaytee87 · 01/03/2019 20:37

@Livelovebehappy I think he probably just wants to talk about an issue that's important to him.

MissKittyBeaudelais · 01/03/2019 20:38

Sorry OP, this is a non starter. For all your sakes (especially your DS) move on NOW.

IHateUncleJamie · 01/03/2019 20:38

Yep, I’m with everyone else here. Your child comes first.

GF knew you had a son and she sounds controlling and immature if she’s jealous and resentful of your time with your child. You’re going to have to be extremely firm with her if you don’t want to end the relationship. She cannot and must not be allowed to be more important to you than your son.

Margot33 · 01/03/2019 20:38

No that's not fair. Your son comes first.

Purpleartichoke · 01/03/2019 20:38

Dump her today.