Office brew making drama... AIBU?

[Katlow]

So I'm an office manager in an office of 5 people.
3 of us (aged - 24 - 39) often make each other and the other 2 members of staff brews because we want one ourselves.
We have 2 younger members of staff (19-21) who literally NEVER get up to make a brew but always accept them when someone offers them one.
Sometimes, the directors will walk in and ask someone to make them a brew, generally addressing everyone. The 2 younger members of staff were apprentices last year (but are now full paid members of staff) and hardly ever make any brews so it is always kind of expected that they'll do it. There's always an awkward minute where no one stands up to the point that sometimes I have to say Is someone doing (director) a brew or what?! but the majority of the time, one of the 2 get up and do them.
There's a member of my team who wants me to mention the fact that they never make brews. I've told him that really, I can't give someone a telling off for something that they've not been asked to do or not been directly asked to do and it's annoying but a bit of a non-issue. If they were asked and refused, that's a different matter. We do them off our own backs because we want one ourselves and it's only polite to offer everyone else. He's growing more and more resentful towards the 2 younger members and I've just told him to let it go and laugh it off. Now he's complaining that one of them sings to the radio too much, we all always hum under our breath but in my eyes I see it as the lads happy doing his job having a bit of a sing song, it's not effecting any of our work so let him be cheerful, we are all guilty of doing it sometimes. I've said he's probably letting this get to him because he's resentful towards the brew making situation.
I started working in this office as an apprentice and was constantly nit-picked at for daft things such as not talking enough, not saying peoples names when I was talking to them and other things which I just thought were pathetic. I used to hate it and go home crying (I was 18) and was constantly looking for something else. My office manager at the time then left and I took over her role and I don't want to make anyone feel the same way that she made me feel.
It's got to the point now where no one will make a brew while these 2 younger member of staff are in the office because they don't want to make those 2 one.
In my eyes, this all seems a bit silly. Should I be saying something to the 2 younger members of staff? It just seems a bit... pathetic really...

It is pathetic. If it bothers anyone that much, tell them to make themselves a brew but not to put the offer out to make anyone else one.

At most I would make a “oi Fred I think it’s your turn to make a cuppa” type comment.

But really if you want a brew make one. If you feeling nice offer everyone one. Don’t turn it into a drama!

This is a joke right? Surely the right response to the directors is make your own "brew". Ffs.

Just dont make tea for the younger ones when you're going then.

We have the same in my office but its older staff who wont make it. Ive just stopped letting it bother me as I'm newer and this is just how its always been.

Yes tell anyone who complains to just make their own tea in future and not offer to make for anyone else.

I worked in an office where we had one member of staff who never made anyone a cup of tea but accepted ours. It might be pathetic but these things can really turn bad, I would say to them either take turns properly with everyone or make your own or for the three who take turns.

Why do the two young ones think it's ok to receive but not give?

And I agree the main issue here is the directors expecting you to all be their teas maids! They can make their own and one for everyone else while they are at it!

And this is before ,the Sally has 3 sugars John has one, Mary likes her tea strong with just a drop of milk ,nonsense that goes along with making everyone a brew , tell them to make their own!

Oh god this is pathetic. No, Jesus Christ don't say anything just stop offering to make them a brew. Let others handle it themselves if they want so they are the ones who will potentially get done for age discrimination, not you.

I once had a job with a compulsory tea break and a rota for who made the tea. I found it baffling as I don't drink much tea at work but I joined in regardless.

I also wouldn't say yes to someone making me tea if I didn't expect to make it a fair number of times too. I think you need to either tell him to grow up and stop moaning or tell them to join in if they want tea made for them, it might be they say yes to be polite.

Gosh if this is all you have to deal with from a managerial perspective, I'm jealous!

These two drink hot drinks and accept other's offers to make them, so yes, I'd straight up tell them that that's how it works, if you partake you make. I manage six men, three of them under 30 and find myself having to explain the nuances of workplace etiquette as they just have no awareness. I feel it's up to me as their manager to point these things out, if for no other reason that you take these learned behaviours with you into the next workplace.

Generally, they take it ok but I don't take these things personally if they don't.

Can't one of you just say, "It's your turn!" to one of the younger ones? Are they still living at home and take on the younger role in the office?

Maybe you should have a word with them in private and just say, "In the office everyone takes it in turns to make tea and you don't do this. Just a heads up that you should really be doing this."

“Who fancies a brew?”

• Young tea shirker/s probably put hand up, as usual.

“Great, it’s your turn Tea Shirker. Plenty of milk in mine.”

• Tea shirker probably does not take hint and make tea.

“Ok, I’ll just make my own then.”

• Make tea for yourself.Carry on with the day.

Repeat exercise as necessary.

Our directors used to make our cuppas. Managers who expect other staff to make their cups of tea are arseholes tbh.

Perhaps like me, they just only think to want one when they're offered?

I think it's generally much easier not to do rounds at all. A 5m screen break is good for everyone now and then.

Are you their line manager? I would ask them face to face (on your own with them) why they don't make brews for everyone else? I would also allocate one of them to make the directors brew - I agree he should be making his own but would also guess that isn't going to happen.

I worked in an office that did tea rounds. It was fucking ridiculous, you couldn't go and get a cup of tea without having to go "does anyone want a coffee? What do you take?" and spend ten minutes making 6 sodding cups and carrying it all up and downstairs. So I stopped, and just made my own, and ignored the passive aggressive "who wants a coffee" after I came down with my own because life is too short for that kind of shit.

And director or not, tell them to not be so fucking lazy and boil the kettle themselves.

It's about being a team player though and that's how I'd address it. Either by saying" come in it's your turn" or addressing it in supervision.

It's an innocuous task but daily little things like this can affect team harmony. So it's fine to bring up with them, ask them if they noticed as you've noticed they accept but never say "oh it must be my turn, let me do it this time" and to reflect on how that might affect team cohesion and atmosphere. If I was never offered by my colleagues but always made them one, I'd feel unnoticed and start to resent it.

Of course your other colleagues can always start to say "X & Y since you never make tea rounds thinking we'll leave you out of rounds we make" or even better "Great X that you want one and since it is your turn, can you please make this round"

There's also no harm in reminding all the team in your next team meeting that it would be expected that they take turns in making tea for bosses when boss asks for a brew, without you having to also ask them as that's embarrassing.

We had a similar situation in my office! I don't drink tea as I try to stick with water or squash but it's always the same 2 people making them even though there's about 4 or 5 who are drinking it. One in particular NEVER offers!

I always cringe when she says "Oh yes I'm dying for one I'll have one please!" because I think well why didn't you get up to make one then?! Waiting until someone else offers is just rude!

HOWEVER, if it really narked me that much (and I was the one making the tea) I'd either say something jokingly about them not ever making one or I'd just get up and do my own.

Phew, so glad I'm not part of the tea dramas

I don't even care. I'm just sick of reading the word "brew".

I'm sorry, but the idea that you would raise tea rounds in a team meeting is hilarious.

"So profit is up this month, but remember we all must take our turn in making tea for Mr Bigboss because heaven forbid he does it himself"

This just doesn't need to be a thing. You're their manager. Flash them a big grin and tell them is their turn to make the tea.

It's not nitpicking, it's not what you went through, it's a manager noticing that somebody isn't pulling their weight and dealing with it in a VERY light hearted way.

I have no issue with dealing with problems that arise in regards to peoples work etc but this one, I don't really understand why it is causing so much resentment. I've basically told the member of staff in the past who's complained to just make his own brew if it bothers him. I just maybe thought, am I in the wrong here and not seeing how it is such an issue? Thanks for your opinions guys! Office politics and all that, can't be doing with the pettiness!

Just to add on, this is your colleague's issue - not yours.

If they have a problem with it they need to have a word themselves. It's not a work issue so doesn't need to be escalated up to yourself!

I agree there are 2 issues here. One not taking part in the brew rounds but expecting one when someone else makes one. I guess that's annoying but I'd feel the same as you.

The other is never making one for the directors. I'm not sure how i feel about this. Is part of their job to make the directors a tea? Is part of anyone's job?