Office brew making drama... AIBU?

[Katlow]

So I'm an office manager in an office of 5 people.
3 of us (aged - 24 - 39) often make each other and the other 2 members of staff brews because we want one ourselves.
We have 2 younger members of staff (19-21) who literally NEVER get up to make a brew but always accept them when someone offers them one.
Sometimes, the directors will walk in and ask someone to make them a brew, generally addressing everyone. The 2 younger members of staff were apprentices last year (but are now full paid members of staff) and hardly ever make any brews so it is always kind of expected that they'll do it. There's always an awkward minute where no one stands up to the point that sometimes I have to say Is someone doing (director) a brew or what?! but the majority of the time, one of the 2 get up and do them.
There's a member of my team who wants me to mention the fact that they never make brews. I've told him that really, I can't give someone a telling off for something that they've not been asked to do or not been directly asked to do and it's annoying but a bit of a non-issue. If they were asked and refused, that's a different matter. We do them off our own backs because we want one ourselves and it's only polite to offer everyone else. He's growing more and more resentful towards the 2 younger members and I've just told him to let it go and laugh it off. Now he's complaining that one of them sings to the radio too much, we all always hum under our breath but in my eyes I see it as the lads happy doing his job having a bit of a sing song, it's not effecting any of our work so let him be cheerful, we are all guilty of doing it sometimes. I've said he's probably letting this get to him because he's resentful towards the brew making situation.
I started working in this office as an apprentice and was constantly nit-picked at for daft things such as not talking enough, not saying peoples names when I was talking to them and other things which I just thought were pathetic. I used to hate it and go home crying (I was 18) and was constantly looking for something else. My office manager at the time then left and I took over her role and I don't want to make anyone feel the same way that she made me feel.
It's got to the point now where no one will make a brew while these 2 younger member of staff are in the office because they don't want to make those 2 one.
In my eyes, this all seems a bit silly. Should I be saying something to the 2 younger members of staff? It just seems a bit... pathetic really...

DO NOT allocate one of the younger "were apprentices last year but aren't now " to brew making duties FFS.

Tbh I'd be tempted to suggest no brew rounds in future. If it's this much of an issue they are clearly happening far too often anyway. Everyone makes their own precious warm beverage from now on and fucking grow up would be my approach to this.

meandmetoo Definately agree. Including the directors

I don't think it's unreasonable or old fashioned to make your big bosses a brew. Yes they can make their own and do, depending on if it's their normal base. My visiting senior managers cover so many bases they don't know what supplies are for which team (5 teams on one floor) so have to ask anyway - it'd be ridiculous if they were expected to carry teabags and milk with them!

And they also really fly in to big meetings and rarely get chance to stop so all 16 of us in our team ( usually have 4- 10 in office at a time) will get off our chairs and make a drink for bosses, when they arrive, if we're not in the middle of a busy work marathon.

Two possible solutions I can think of:

1. Have a tea rota, if there's 5 of you then that's nice and easy, one does each day of the week.
2. Tell everyone (director included) that from now on tea is self service only.

There are 5 of you? Give everyone a day to make the brew.

Monday - Jack
Tuesday - Sarah
Wednesday - John
Thursday - Dave
Friday - Joanne.

That should do it. And if the Directors come in, whoever's day it is makes them Tea.

Wow! First world problems.

Just call out, “I’m ready for a cuppa, Lucy it must be your turn” and keep repeating that daily. Until the young ‘uns realise they are adults in an adult workplace and not being looked after by their colleagues like mummy looks after them.

When the director visits, you get up and make him a cuppa. Just. Him. (Let the others know this is not a dig at them, but a dig at the ‘children’ in your office who think they are working with their mummy’s.)

You’re a manager, manage your staff.

I couldn't work in an office with politics like this. I get up and help myself to a drink whenever I want...we all do. It becomes pathetic when you can't do this without feeling you need to check with everyone else. What a waste of time.

Plus...I couldn't work in an office where the word "brew" was used all the time, or where the hierachy couldn't make their own.

Cross posted with Popc0rn

Absolutely. If I was op, I'd have a quiet word with the director and say this is how they are having to manage the situation from now because it's become such a pathetic time consuming drama so it would be great to have their support in this by setting an example. Especially as theres a whiff of ageism going on, so it helps protect the business too.

We used to have a DI who used to sit in his office (two along from us) and shout "cuppa tea?" expecting us to make it.
l used to pretend to be on the phone. None of the others ever did it. ln fact we had two (who were obviously well trained married men) who would pop their head round our door and say "l'm putting the kettle on. Anyone want one?"

Where I work, it's the same, everyone has tea or coffee regularly and they all take turns to make it. I'm always asked if I want one and I always decline because I don't drink tea or coffee but some of them have taken personal offense to the fact that I never have a turn making a round. Pisses me off. I could understand if like your situation, I was drinking tea made for me by others but I'm not because I don't like tea! Don't see why I should make everyone a brew when I don't drink the stuff myself. I do occasionally do a round just to stop the shitty comments.

I would just have a quiet word with them about how it's coming across.

I know for me, in our office when one person is going, usually they offer for everyone. I don't tend to think "oh I want a drink now so I'll go" but if someone says "do you want?" then I'll think about it and say "yes please".

So I know have to make a conscious effort to remember to offer-or say "oh yes, please, my turn to go and get it though." I think I do my fair share, although I probably drink less than half what some of the others drink, so there are days when it could appear I'm not.

If it hasn't occurred to them they aren't taking their fair share, it's probably worth having a quick chat. They'll probably be rather embarrassed at how it's coming across.

@Katlow - I think you should say something to these younger workers, before the resentment about this issue gets out of hand.

It sounds as if they are oblivious to the etiquette in your office - that everyone should take a turn at making the drinks, and whilst this is not part of their job description, it is part of them to fitting in, in a work environment - and if they haven't realised this themselves, they need to be told.

Hopefully, a quick comment should be enough - "Look, X and Y, people have noticed that you almost never make a brew for the rest of us, but are happy to take drinks when they are offered - this is poor form, in this office. You need to take your turns brewing up, OK?"

Just call an ‘office meeting’, tell them all that Making a Brew is causing Drama and give them a choice between ‘make your own’ or ‘rota’....quick discussion then majority vote wins.

Directors tea.....if everyone’s making their own then have a rota for that, otherwise whoever’s on tea duty makes it.

As already mentioned- have a tea rota. Not ideal if someone is extremely busy on their allocated day (but we used to swap days with someone else if this occured), and it stopped all the pettiness.

Perhaps they are head down working and simply don't notice time pass?
I work from home and can get so engrossed in a task I have no concept of time, usually a child comes home from school and I realise I've missed lunch again.
This isn't because i'm lazy, it's because i'm genuinely busy
Perhaps the juniors actually resent the many breaks of the others whilst they make tea?!

I'm an office manager with 7 men around..

I ALWAYS make the first morning brew and when i want another and can't be bothered i just tell one of the guys "oi Jim i think its about time you made a brew" and off they go.. in fact my last cuppa was made because of that!

We have a younger boy here who hardly ever make a cuppa and when they do i make a cheeky joke about it but it really doesn't bother me..

Ask them to make one or suck it up..

Office politics eh? It's always the seemingly little things that get people's backs up.

When I started work - in the 1980's(!) - it was always the job of the most junior staff to make every body else's tea. I think it came with the job description. We tend to move in a more equal society now and at my work there certainly wouldn't be an expectation that more senior members of staff are waited on, even by their PAs unless its hospitality for a meeting. Some companies are more old fashioned though, and as office manager I probably wouldn't be upsetting the directors if there is an expectation that their drinks are made- perhaps a coffee machine would be an idea in the directors room? Although someone still has to fill it, switch it on etc

WRT the younger members of staff I'd imagine they are used to being waited on by their parents at home and I would give some half- jokey hints at them that 'it's your turn now '. In my current office we tend to make our own, but thinking back to my last one we'd take it in turn and the lazy person was always called out.

All these people that talk about the big bosses deserving their tea being made for them as they are soooo important and "busy". Please please just tell me some of them are women and the tea making people are men. I still think it's wrong either way but it would go a little way to showing we have moved on from a 1950s edition of good house keeping.

I really wouldn't push this issue. My cousin used to be expected to make the coffee in work as she was the youngest - she was so annoyed at the expectation that she used to spit in it! Best solution is to make your own brew from now on. My friend and I always used to make each other a brew as we shared the tea bag - very cost savings efficient workers we were. We didn't make it for anyone else though. They were all adults, perfectly capable of making their own.

To address some posters comments:

I don't think it's age-ism as such. I think it's normally expected when the directors ask that one of the younger members will do it as the rest of us have already made 2 or 3 during the day and they've not done any.

We're up north so we use the word brew often, that's not really the issue (or what turns out may not bean issue) I'm trying to address.

I do manage my staff, I'd like to think effectively, this is just something that has been complained about and brought to me that I don't think should be a problem and wanted some other peoples perspective. I thought potentially there's something that I'm not seeing which other people would.

Thanks for your opinions, thinking now I'm in the right by saying just buck up and get over it because it's not a big deal. Might make a few lighthearted brew (or beverage, whichever word you prefer) making suggestions.

You have 2 choices really. As manager it is your job to ensure good working relationships between the members of your team and currently your 2 newest may be blissfully unaware that there is an unofficial rota. They probably don't even think about it until asked or offered.

So, tell everyone in the office that the tea rota won't become an issue if they all take turns

Or talk to the 2 of them privately, together, and explain that the tea routine is part of the work environment and they need to join in

*young member of staff A, I think it's your turn, could you go and make us a brew please?"

how difficult can that be.

And of course it's fine to ask someone, nicely and quietly, to keep the singing down in an office.

Jeezo, heaven forbid you all just get on with the jobs you are actually paid to do! Its fuckin' tea for goodness sake

Maybe a vending machine would be the answer. Everywhere i have worked recently has had one.

I used to hate making drinks. As a 16 year old non tea of coffee drinker office junior I was expected to be permanently making hot drinks. Plus going to the shops for supplies.

The order was huge and very detailed so I had to put slips of paper under each mug and then carry the whole tray down two flights of stairs.

I am surprised I got any work done.