Office brew making drama... AIBU?

[Katlow]

So I'm an office manager in an office of 5 people.
3 of us (aged - 24 - 39) often make each other and the other 2 members of staff brews because we want one ourselves.
We have 2 younger members of staff (19-21) who literally NEVER get up to make a brew but always accept them when someone offers them one.
Sometimes, the directors will walk in and ask someone to make them a brew, generally addressing everyone. The 2 younger members of staff were apprentices last year (but are now full paid members of staff) and hardly ever make any brews so it is always kind of expected that they'll do it. There's always an awkward minute where no one stands up to the point that sometimes I have to say Is someone doing (director) a brew or what?! but the majority of the time, one of the 2 get up and do them.
There's a member of my team who wants me to mention the fact that they never make brews. I've told him that really, I can't give someone a telling off for something that they've not been asked to do or not been directly asked to do and it's annoying but a bit of a non-issue. If they were asked and refused, that's a different matter. We do them off our own backs because we want one ourselves and it's only polite to offer everyone else. He's growing more and more resentful towards the 2 younger members and I've just told him to let it go and laugh it off. Now he's complaining that one of them sings to the radio too much, we all always hum under our breath but in my eyes I see it as the lads happy doing his job having a bit of a sing song, it's not effecting any of our work so let him be cheerful, we are all guilty of doing it sometimes. I've said he's probably letting this get to him because he's resentful towards the brew making situation.
I started working in this office as an apprentice and was constantly nit-picked at for daft things such as not talking enough, not saying peoples names when I was talking to them and other things which I just thought were pathetic. I used to hate it and go home crying (I was 18) and was constantly looking for something else. My office manager at the time then left and I took over her role and I don't want to make anyone feel the same way that she made me feel.
It's got to the point now where no one will make a brew while these 2 younger member of staff are in the office because they don't want to make those 2 one.
In my eyes, this all seems a bit silly. Should I be saying something to the 2 younger members of staff? It just seems a bit... pathetic really...

Why not everybody, including the directors, just make their own soddi g tea and have done with it? Fwiw I HATE making tea and would expect the directors to be making their own anyway.

All those saying they drink squash instead of coffee or tea. I did this in one place because of the bossyboots who was in charge of collecting ‘tea’ money - you paid even when on holiday and at the age of 19 and on a pittance I resented this. I bought a bottle of fruit squash for myself which I kept in the tea room cupboard and noticed it wasn’t lasting very long as other staff were making free with it. I took in my own ready made squash from then on then listened to the moaning that there was no fruit squash anymore and why not.

Can't you just say 'get off your arse lurch and get the kettle on'
That would work I feel

Good Lordy is this still going on?! I thought we'd left this behind in the 70's/80's!!

Where I work a few of us not brew up for each other . 1 person who always excepts but never offers so we all stopped offering and he did his own for a while . Recently he has started offering a drink so think he's finally realising that to except you must offer it's only fair .
So if they don't offer then don't offer them a drink . You can either say it jokingly look mate you don't brew up so sorry no brew or be serious. younger people seam to think people fetch and carry for them probably their parents fault .

Why's he going to you and not talking to the two lads? I'd encourage him to be an adult and let them know it annoys him.

I worked in an office where the CEO would come in for meetings and board meetings and his secretary would make them all tea and coffee.

Lovely. Except the charity didnt provide the tea, coffee or milk - the employees were paying 3 quid a week to keep his meetings catered. Not cool.

Just because you're senior and work longer hours then others does not (in my view) mean that others have to make your tea!!

I am senior in my role and work on average much later than juniors. I have different stress in my role and also look after well being of others. But I'm more than capable of making a coffee if I want one and would actually be mortified if others thought I was so busy and important that they should make my coffee. That's demeaning and undermining their role and time in the company. Again purely my view.

My boss works longer than me and has even more stress etc. we wouldn't dream of thinking because of that she's incapable of putting the kettle on. No one is too busy or important that they should expect their tea made for them by other office members. Unless of course you have employed a specific tea person for that role.

But then again we don't have tea rounds - thank goodness.

When I was their age, I was nervous about getting up and making drinks, including thinking about how often I was helping myself to the shared items when I was supposed to be working. Maybe they're not being lazy, but don't want to be seen to be stopping too often or focusing on themselves instead of their work.

I dont think you should say anything. It's a non issue.
I dont think anyone should offer things they dont really want to give... I mean if you dont want to make someone a cup of tea then dont.
And if you want someone to make you a cup of tea then ask them yourself dont get someone else to tell them they have to start offering to do it... that's a bit nuts.
So I'm with you OP I dont think its worth saying anything!

I have thos problem at home with DH actually. He has complained I never offer him a cup of tea.... but the reason is that he drinks loads more coffee than I do throughout the day. It would never occur to me to go and make a brew because I wouldn't want one. So if he wasnt making one I wouldn't think of it iyswim! But as he offers me one every time he goes to make a coffee I sometimes accept them... but it just means that I'm never actually making them because I never want one because hes already made more drinks than I'd ever make!!
So it could be that... they could just not really want tea that often.... perhaps if you just left it and never offered them tea they might eventually go and make their own and offer to make other peoples?

Just to clarify a few things...

I don't have an issue with the younger ones not making hot beverages, brews, drinks - whatever you want to call them. I think it's stupid to get agitated about and have far bigger things to worry about than cups of tea. This is why I was asking.

The directors pay for the milk, tea, coffee, our wages, and plenty of other things for us and go above and beyond for their employees. I have absolutely NO issue with making them a drink.

The younger ones are only expected to make them when the directors ask because they are the only ones who haven't already done one, not because of their age. However, when I was a juniour member of staff in the same office, I'd jump if anyone asked or even if my manager told me she was making one, I'd do it for her, because I wanted to make a good impression and understood she was busy. Even more so now I do the job she was doing.

I just wanted to see if I was wrong in this case as he's come to me a few times with this. I wanted another opinion as I am open to the fact that I could have been wrong in dismissing this as a silly complaint.

Check out Alexa Tea Rota - simply ask Alexa whose turn it is to make the tea....loads of other apps and internet based solutions also available,some quite lighthearted which may defuse the tension?

Jesus, I wish I had enough spare time in my day to worry about hot drinks. Actually, no, I don't, it sounds pathetic.

Just say that people can make their own drinks in the future. It seems like a lot of work time being wasted worrying about beverages. I had one place that people were supposed to be on coffee duty (as well as take turns buying the supplies). When I got asked why I wasn't participating, I laughed and said that I don't even drink it, so leave me out of it. I can't be arsed dealing with such nonsense.

I'm just imagining my response if my boss asked me to make them a cup of tea. I don't think it would be pretty, but then my boss has two hands and more available time than I do, so they can get their own.

This is completely pathetic.

Is coffee a brew or is it just tea? I couldn't bear anyone making one for me as they'd get it wrong. Also couldn't work for a boss who routinely asked me to make them hot drinks.

As there are 5 of you in the office and 5 days in a week this lends itself beautifully to you all taking one day per week when you make all the drinks that day.

Of course it would help if you had drinks at consistent times each day.

Can't the staff address this themselves? You are correct in saying that it isn't really a work issue, you can't discipline them for it.

I have been in a similar situation and I got pissed off about the lack of courtesy - the culprit in my office actually used to get up and make a brew for himself and not offer anyone else one to add insult to injury!

But ultimately it's just brews? I dealt with it by saying "hey, have you just made yourself a brew and not offered anyone else one? Other people always make you brews, that's rude". Adults should be able to just say these things.

I don't even drink tea or coffee, but I always welcomed the opportunity to offer to make them and get away from the computer for ten minutes...

This is what I love about Mumsnet. You get to find out what people really think. I bet at work no-one would bother voicing these opinions.

The directors can make their own "brew".

I think you should have a word with the two younger staff members about needing to make the tea sometimes too. It is a minor issue, as you say, but it's causing problems and is easily resolved.

If the problems persists, then you need to consider a tea rota or individual system.

The thing is, often minor problems are the ones that cause bigger issues. So, I do think you need to deal with this.

‘Brew’ is one of those words that makes my toes curl for some
Unknown reason !
Next time I personally would say to one of them you gets ‘it is your turn by now surely?’ Or similar - but even as I write that my toes curl again (different way) and i imagine officegeddon kicking off.

Honestly, you guys sound like you need more work to keep you focused on what's important.

At work it's about 5 of us (different each time, shift work). Sometimes when I want a coffee I just make mine. Others, if I have time and the others have been busy, I offer to make them a drink of their choice. I don't expect anything in return. Everyone lives happily.

No one expects anyone else to make their hot drink, regardless of seniority or position.

It’s one for a team meeting, for sure. Agenda item, maybe halfway through.

Explain how it’s been in the past, ask for comments on whether it needs review/changing. Maybe they have legitimate issues with it, or are truly unaware. They need to be given a chance to air this, in front of the group.

If everyone ‘votes’ to keep it as is, outline the expections for everyone clearly, and link it to having a harmonious, fair workplace. Specify that these kinds of things seem small, but can quickly contribute to bad or good team morale. Which is something considered in annual professional reviews.

So turn it into a positive, but with an edge of future menace. They’ll get the message.

When I worked in the UK I used to just pay for my PAs coffee and get her to get me one so that I (and she) could avoid the confusing beverage making etiquette. She was also Australian and couldn't figure it out.

This allowed her to 'blame' me for her not being involved.