Office brew making drama... AIBU?

[Katlow]

So I'm an office manager in an office of 5 people.
3 of us (aged - 24 - 39) often make each other and the other 2 members of staff brews because we want one ourselves.
We have 2 younger members of staff (19-21) who literally NEVER get up to make a brew but always accept them when someone offers them one.
Sometimes, the directors will walk in and ask someone to make them a brew, generally addressing everyone. The 2 younger members of staff were apprentices last year (but are now full paid members of staff) and hardly ever make any brews so it is always kind of expected that they'll do it. There's always an awkward minute where no one stands up to the point that sometimes I have to say Is someone doing (director) a brew or what?! but the majority of the time, one of the 2 get up and do them.
There's a member of my team who wants me to mention the fact that they never make brews. I've told him that really, I can't give someone a telling off for something that they've not been asked to do or not been directly asked to do and it's annoying but a bit of a non-issue. If they were asked and refused, that's a different matter. We do them off our own backs because we want one ourselves and it's only polite to offer everyone else. He's growing more and more resentful towards the 2 younger members and I've just told him to let it go and laugh it off. Now he's complaining that one of them sings to the radio too much, we all always hum under our breath but in my eyes I see it as the lads happy doing his job having a bit of a sing song, it's not effecting any of our work so let him be cheerful, we are all guilty of doing it sometimes. I've said he's probably letting this get to him because he's resentful towards the brew making situation.
I started working in this office as an apprentice and was constantly nit-picked at for daft things such as not talking enough, not saying peoples names when I was talking to them and other things which I just thought were pathetic. I used to hate it and go home crying (I was 18) and was constantly looking for something else. My office manager at the time then left and I took over her role and I don't want to make anyone feel the same way that she made me feel.
It's got to the point now where no one will make a brew while these 2 younger member of staff are in the office because they don't want to make those 2 one.
In my eyes, this all seems a bit silly. Should I be saying something to the 2 younger members of staff? It just seems a bit... pathetic really...

In terms of giving a 2 word response to a Director who asked you to make them a drink, either you are lying, or you have only ever been in high status jobs.

Wow. Actually not a liar so you can discount that. If I had anyone in the hierarchy above me insist I do this then that’s exactly the response I would have given when young and would still give today. Of course it all depends on how it was put forward. If they politely requested it I would feign concern on what was wrong with them and if I could assist with whatever the underlying (medical) issue was so that they could use their hands. If they gave an order then I would indeed give a two word response, I don’t care who they are, because IT’S NOT MY JOB, it’s not what I do, it’s not what I have been hired to do.

The thing is I have never, in over 30 years working, been out in that situation. I have had the odd occasion, especially when younger, when someone higher asked for something that they really should do themselves but they were just being twats about. That was always easily dealt with though - feign ignorance and helpfulness ‘no problem, let me show YOU where it is, so you know next time’, ‘no, it’s understandable you probably haven’t done it in a while, we all forget I guess, did you want to watch while I go do it so you are up for it next time’ etc. Works a charm.

I don't like anyone making me a brew. I prefer to make it myself. I don't accept brews during the standard brew run and only have one cup a day anyway. When i get up I do ask everyone. In our office we have a reverse situation where people get upset when they realise you don't want anyone to make you a brew because you want to do it yourself!!

Two words:
Brew Rota

Can I just say as a non-English person that in all my time on mumsnet this is most English dilemma I have ever seen?

Why not instead of everyone quietly seething, saying nothing but growing ever more resentful until a nice atmosphere is totally poisoned...why oh why won't somebody just fucking SAY SOMETHING??? And I say this as someone who is probably obliviously breaking a million little etiquette rules a day just because my mind is somewhere else and I'm not thinking about it. Please just tell me is I'm doing something wrong so I can fix it!!

Why is it so, so, so hard to say "hey I'll make tea this time but please next time you two it would be great if you start taking your turns in the unofficial rota...Ok thank you!"

In my office I'm the unofficial person who has to go tell people that for example their headphones aren't working very well in that the whole office can hear their tinny pop songs...or to the people in the next meeting room that the paper-thin walls in our office building means that their loud arguing is drowning out our conversation. Some people are rude back even when I'm polite about it but at least it fixes the problems. Hey, being both American and autistic has to have some advantages, right???

Just say, hey, for next time, i like my coffee black, Carol has milk and two sugars...here I'll write it down for you. And put a little cheat sheet on their desks!

If the office has it's own kitchen, I don't understand why people don't make their own. Mind you, we had this issue years ago, as the average time spent making everyone's drinks was about 6 minutes - I was overworked whilst colleagues arsed about of facebook etc, so really begrudged making their drinks. When I suggested the make your own thing, passive aggressive comments galore!

I think the suggestion of each person having a day each to do the fucking brews is a good idea.

I can’t believe a grown adult is moaning to his manager about this.
It’s not difficult for him to offer tea to you and the other tea maker by name and not ask the tea freeloaders (tealoaders?)

If one of them makes a comment, all he needs to say is that he assumed they would prefer not to be part of the round and then there’s no pressure on them to offer to make tea.

I’m so glad that drinks rounds are banned in my office

“So I want a cup of tea, but I can’t have one unless I make a tray full while remembering how each person like’s theirs prepared? What if like me they like to mix it up and do it a bit differently depending on mood? Why, why on earth, don’t you just have people take care of their own beverages?” - This. To avoid it, in one workplace with a particularly passive aggressive tea making culture, I spent a couple of years going to the kitchen and secretly glugging scalding hot coffee down in one go whenever a caffeine hit was needed, whilst not partaking in the rounds .

Take them aside quietly and tell them the fact they never offer is causing resentment. It’s silly, but it’s office politics. They obviously aren’t aware of the politics side of this. Spell it out to them.

If it's creating tension within the office you need to have a quiet word with them. They'll be completely oblivious.

Oh, and just as an aside, I'm a director and I make my own drinks.

This is bizarre. I work in a small team. Sometimes people just make one for themselves if they're busy and don't have the time to make for other people, sometimes everyone gets offered, sometimes only the person next to you, there are often apologies for missing someone out if they were on the phone etc. Sone people offer / make more than others. No one gets offended, everyone jokes about who / who hasn't made one recently / whose tea is crap etc.

It's so weird that no one just says to your two 'oi Bob/Dave it's your turn to make the tea you lazy sod'. Making it a Management Issue would get you laughed out of the office where I work.

I accept water but make my own coffee reason is I like mine really weak and milky plus I make really bad tea and coffee so I try not to poison the boss

Never understood group tea making.
We have a boiler so there’s really no reason why people shouldn’t just get their own, especially in mostly sedentary jobs where it’s a good reason for you to get off your backside.

God, do people really get this stressed out about cups of tea? I don’t drink it, or coffee, so never make it.

I once had a row with a colleague about the fact that I never made tea, or contributed to the office tea fund.

Apparently my opinion that as I never drink it, it wasn’t unreasonable for me to make it or buy it for others. She said I wasn’t a team player, I ignored her and carried on drinking water.

We all survived. Well, OK, I quit shortly afterwards because the place wound me up, but no-one actually died....

*NOT to make it etc.....

I ended up becoming the drinks person at my first job. Nobody else would bother. I remember someone in the office upstairs ringing me to tell me not to forget them when doing the afternoon round. It was not part of my job description, but was one of many ways they used to bully me.

I HATE making drinks for others at work now. I wasn't so bad at the second job I had - there were only three of us, and the day I went to talk to the boss about the job (post interview) the other guy in the office immediately offered me a brew. We'd all take turns and as there were only three of us it wasn't so bad. But now I'm back in a large team and I have to psych myself up to do so. I have explained and they understand, thankfully. I do do other things though so am not too bad. I just find it hard separating tea making from being bullied.

I would pay good money if I could have the opportunity to either attend someone's serious staff meeting where drinks are an agenda item to be discussed alongside quality management or recruitment etc, serious issues, OR if someone actually does a godfather style "making drinks will go well for you in future performance reviews".

Serious. Let me know date/time. I'll be there.

I have builders tea, strong with a drop of milk......very orange. I hate a badly made cup of tea so therefore make it myself. There are people at my work in tea making rounds and people like me who make their own.

Exclude the ones that never make from your rounds in future and let them make their own!

I like making my own brew as well. And therefore I never accepted offers, but said something along the lines ‘I’ll go with you and make my own’. In this way I also avoided need to offer brew for others.
Over the time colleagues accepted that I fo not my brew made by others and as I made it in nice way, there was no conflict.
It is my mini break to make a tea and I do want to stretch my legs, go to loo etc and not to stress if 7 other various requirements.

The director can't make his own tea? Damn his management skills must be shite if he can't even do that.

I used to work in an office that sounds just like this and I hated it...
My manager was always making jokey comments about the fact I never made a brew but I never drank hot drinks so never used to want to spend the time getting up to make 8 or 9 drinks! Especially as I never expected one back.
I've since moved to a much bigger corporate company where the rules are nobody makes you a drink -even at director level. We have posher machines here which make it easier anyway but it's so nice never having to think "oh god is it my turn, am I being slated about this non issue"
In 6 years I've never once been asked to make anyone a drink.
It saves the company a lot of time too!
I wish more companies had this mentalility to be honest. Nobody is above making a cuppa.
It's a bit small business mentalility in my opinion

Why doesn't everyone just make their own drinks?

In my office that's what happens. Not even the partners ask for someone else to make them a drink - they get their arse out of the office and go to the kitchen. Because they're not dickheads.

I once worked as office junior and part of my role was making tea and coffee for every one in the office! I think it was supposed to stop people just wandering around. One day one of my admin tasks took longer than anticipated and one of the secretaries rang up FUMING that I was slightly late with the tea/coffee! Ridiculous!

When I got promoted I just made my own, well ans one for my boss too. He was lovely, we used to have a half hour chat on a Monday morning about our weekends over a coffee and he used to always tell me to get myself away 15 mins early on a Friday. The wages were rubbish but I loved that job! Especially now as a teacher I don't even get chance of a coffee break! Holidays are better through!

As much as my job is frustrating at times, I am so relieved right now that I don't work with people who squabble about cups of tea.

1. Make your own tea.
2. Don't offer or accept tea from others
3. Consider getting a kettle urn so that it takes less than 30 seconds to fill your own cup.
4. Consider getting a drinks machine (same reason as above).

You all sound ridiculous.

Oh and ridiculous topics in staff meetings...

"Please remember the food in the canteen is for the children so any staff caught eating will be reprimanded" after some one ate a left over, untouched sandwich that was going in the bin...