Office brew making drama... AIBU?

[Katlow]

So I'm an office manager in an office of 5 people.
3 of us (aged - 24 - 39) often make each other and the other 2 members of staff brews because we want one ourselves.
We have 2 younger members of staff (19-21) who literally NEVER get up to make a brew but always accept them when someone offers them one.
Sometimes, the directors will walk in and ask someone to make them a brew, generally addressing everyone. The 2 younger members of staff were apprentices last year (but are now full paid members of staff) and hardly ever make any brews so it is always kind of expected that they'll do it. There's always an awkward minute where no one stands up to the point that sometimes I have to say Is someone doing (director) a brew or what?! but the majority of the time, one of the 2 get up and do them.
There's a member of my team who wants me to mention the fact that they never make brews. I've told him that really, I can't give someone a telling off for something that they've not been asked to do or not been directly asked to do and it's annoying but a bit of a non-issue. If they were asked and refused, that's a different matter. We do them off our own backs because we want one ourselves and it's only polite to offer everyone else. He's growing more and more resentful towards the 2 younger members and I've just told him to let it go and laugh it off. Now he's complaining that one of them sings to the radio too much, we all always hum under our breath but in my eyes I see it as the lads happy doing his job having a bit of a sing song, it's not effecting any of our work so let him be cheerful, we are all guilty of doing it sometimes. I've said he's probably letting this get to him because he's resentful towards the brew making situation.
I started working in this office as an apprentice and was constantly nit-picked at for daft things such as not talking enough, not saying peoples names when I was talking to them and other things which I just thought were pathetic. I used to hate it and go home crying (I was 18) and was constantly looking for something else. My office manager at the time then left and I took over her role and I don't want to make anyone feel the same way that she made me feel.
It's got to the point now where no one will make a brew while these 2 younger member of staff are in the office because they don't want to make those 2 one.
In my eyes, this all seems a bit silly. Should I be saying something to the 2 younger members of staff? It just seems a bit... pathetic really...

Whynham - there's a logic in lower grade staff making the tea and that is that the work they do won't yet necessarily be as critical or time-critical as more senior people. That's not doing down lower-grade staff (have been in that position myself) it's just common sense.

What lower grade staff don't like (well I didn't) was those who treated you like a serf and weren't appreciative of you making more brews etc. More the attitude than the request. I saw how stressed and busy some managers were and I was happy to take far more turns doing the brews as they literally had no time for doing group or their own brews, a lot didn't even stop working for lunch a lot of days.

mono mash!

i do it sometimes and just say ooops ive mono mashed....did you want one?

1) Hate rounds. Much prefer everyone makes their own to avoid this kind of pettishness and the horrible number of shit cups you get from other people.

So. Much. This.

I like a cup of tea, but no one makes my tea as well as I do, frankly. And I'm pretty sure most people feel the same. So I would rather get up and go to the kitchen for 5 minutes for a break, and collect my tea just as I like it. I am not averse to making one for others, but the sheer INSISTENCE on the tea-rounds-culture is just an unnecessary source of stress.

The only rules should be 1) offer if you genuinely mean it and don't begrudge it and 2) accept it you genuinely want a cup and don't mind someone else making it.

I never made teas or coffees for others worked in an office. I drink tea and coffee black with no sugar. The act of trying to produce a drink with one or both of these items in it completely confuses me and usually renders the resulting beverage undrinkable.

Get a vending machine.

We had this in our old place. I thought that it was silly. It was always the same people making them, and moaning about one that didnt. I refused all tea offers as I made my own. After a while everyone followed suit. Tell the staff to make their own. It's much easier. Why cant the director make his own tea?

I wouldn't be making a brew for anyone else how complicated! In our office its "I'm putting the kettle on if anyone wants some of the water" type thing!

We all make our own. This is partly because it's a civil service job and we have to bring our own tea bags or coffee (we do have a milk kitty that one bloke kindly does). To be fair I couldn't believe it when I found out we weren't even allowed tea bags as part of the job!

In your place I would either a. Just offer between the three of you or b. Say to the young uns "it's your turn" in a light hearted way.

The idea that someone can get so irritated about such a minor thing is frankly unimaginable for me. But then it could be anything - something rubs you up the wrong way and from that point it becomes like a sore spot in your mouth that you can't stop touching.

I had an ex colleague who used to be driven to despair by one of his direct report's nose-blowing routine. "It's just so long... and so LOUD" he'd say.

The last place I worked, great big open plan office. A team member (not my team) apparently had an agreement with her manager that as the job was soooo stressful she could take a break any time she liked, and go home any time she liked as well. On full pay. Every time I saw her drifting vaguely around the vending machines (whilst her colleagues were working with their noses to the ground covering her workload) I felt like pushing her out the window.

Poor management on your part imo.

Working in a team isn't just about the obvious work side of things, a cohesive team doesn't have niggles like this occurring and building into worse resentments because good office managers nip them in the bud.

You can't make the 2 slackers make teas, but you can pull them up for their general lack of team spirit and point out to them that such behaviour affects the overall atmosphere for everyone. Also that you don't take a favour if you have no intention of returning it! That should be basic good manners their parents taught them, given they clearly weren't it now falls to you.

Imo it's a valuable part of their training. I've worked in many offices, and these "little" niggles can and do affect morale and working relationships negatively.

I'm not a big cuppa drinker myself but I would never accept cuppas and not EVER make them myself when it operates as "rounds" as it clearly does In your office (not every office does but many do).

If everyone hums a little, that's fine but if someone "ups the ante" by singing and that's annoying/distracting then that too needs nipped in the bud. Plus imagine the cacophony if everyone started singing!

Your job is to deal with things like this BEFORE it gets to resentment/complaint levels tbh I think you also need to consider and observe if there's other issues/difficulties occurring between the complainant and the main one being complained about - are they slacking in other ways? Are they not respecting the more experienced staff? The complainant may be reluctant to "drop them in it" over something important but the resentment over other concerns is being voiced instead on these issues? In other words is it REALLY about the tea?

The directors need to make their own damn cuppas though! Those attitudes should have gone out with the ark! Bet they never make for anyone!

"it's just the way it's always been" is the WORST reason ever for doing something at work!

"if you partake you make." Yep!

I don't drink tea often and fond making tea one of the most tedious jobs ever. I fucking hate it! Why should they be expected to make tea because they are the younger ones? Perhaps they feel like they are over stepping by just going and helping themselves. Tell this guy that's doing all the moaning to grow the fuck up and make this own tea! I can't believe adults are being so petty as to not make tea because they don't want to make it for the 2 younger people in the office. (I refuse to call it a "brew")

Don’t say anything to the young ones! I really don’t understand why everybody can’t just make their own drinks. But if they want to offer to make a round that is their choice, it doesn’t mean everybody accepting then has do reciprocate...

I am surprised at those who see it as a big deal to make tea for the Directors.

It's only a big deal because it seems that they don't reciprocate.

In my last job I was promoted to become manager of my team so had to recruit my replacement who was a lovely man. He would always have a hot drink waiting for me when I arrived in the morning. His reasoning was I had given him a job following being made redundant from his previous one and it was the least he could do for me! I like to hope I took my turn at making drinks when needed too.

Back when I started work in the 1980s I worked between Christmas and New Year and was told the assistant director would be there too and I had to make his tea and coffee for him. This was the man who interviewed me and asked if I was planning on marrying and having children. I was not happy and had to be bribed with cakes every day to comply. A better tradition there was Wednesday afternoon tea when the entire staff got together to share tea and cakes. A member of staff who had been there since the 1940s had talked about this and it was decided it should be started up again.

This is pathetic. Why is making tea in the workplace such a drama.

At work we make our own drinks when we want them.

Just make your own tea and move on.

Get a grip, maybe they don't like tea/coffee enough to get up for it themselves and they're accepting politely because you all keep asking.

How ridiculous, you can't have much to do at work if the 3 of you are bothered about that

This is why I love being in my brew making team of one which it took me years to achieve.

I really am a team player, I just can stand the politics involved with making brews!

Can people stop saying brew? 😫😫

I've never made tea/coffee for people in offices as I simply don't drink it. (Usually bring my own flask of nice coffee which lasts all day)

Op as the office manager, just order an in-line hot water dispenser. No problem me has to take the time to boil water ever again.

I’ve never worked in an office that didn’t have one at every break station.

IME offices with in line hot water dispensers are never nice places to work. I accept it may just be my experience, but every place I have worked with these give their lower paid employees unmanageable workloads.

When I first worked in an office with a hierarchy, as opposed to everyone doing the same job, my manager/colleague drank a lot of tea. I don't drink hot drinks and had a big bottle I filled with squash that lasted all day. I always turned down any offers of drinks.

One day, about 2 weeks in, she banged her cup down on her desk and said 'yes please, milk, no sugar!'

Completely bemused I got up, walked to the canteen, made her tea, brought it back and went back to my desk. I didnt know what to say.

She was an awful woman, but that particular thing has stuck with me. I then made a point of always offering tea if I was getting up to go to the loo or whatever. I really really resented it.

I think you need to talk to the non tea makers separately, so as not to embarrass them, and tell them they either join in the tea rota or stop accepting tea from others, or people are going to start resenting them.

If you don't do something it's going to be seething under the surface, and one day someone will explode our of all proportion.

Also, finding continued use of brew really weird. It means a beer where I'm from!

You have to type the word 'brew' to get the MN emoji. It's a cuppa where I am from.

I would say 'have a beer' if drinking beer not 'have a brew'.

oooh I had not notice that emoji!

Just make your own tea/coffee. One thing I hate about working in a office - the tea-round. And calling it a brew.

There's 5 of you in the office and 5 days in a week.
As office manager give each person (incl yourself) a set day that's their day to make the teas and coffee for everyone throughout that day (incl any requests for a drink that may come that day from directors).
If necessary have rough set times for drinks so people know when to make the drinks.
I know this seems a little patronising but if it stops the complaining then it will make for a mor harmonious workplace.