Office brew making drama... AIBU?

[Katlow]

So I'm an office manager in an office of 5 people.
3 of us (aged - 24 - 39) often make each other and the other 2 members of staff brews because we want one ourselves.
We have 2 younger members of staff (19-21) who literally NEVER get up to make a brew but always accept them when someone offers them one.
Sometimes, the directors will walk in and ask someone to make them a brew, generally addressing everyone. The 2 younger members of staff were apprentices last year (but are now full paid members of staff) and hardly ever make any brews so it is always kind of expected that they'll do it. There's always an awkward minute where no one stands up to the point that sometimes I have to say Is someone doing (director) a brew or what?! but the majority of the time, one of the 2 get up and do them.
There's a member of my team who wants me to mention the fact that they never make brews. I've told him that really, I can't give someone a telling off for something that they've not been asked to do or not been directly asked to do and it's annoying but a bit of a non-issue. If they were asked and refused, that's a different matter. We do them off our own backs because we want one ourselves and it's only polite to offer everyone else. He's growing more and more resentful towards the 2 younger members and I've just told him to let it go and laugh it off. Now he's complaining that one of them sings to the radio too much, we all always hum under our breath but in my eyes I see it as the lads happy doing his job having a bit of a sing song, it's not effecting any of our work so let him be cheerful, we are all guilty of doing it sometimes. I've said he's probably letting this get to him because he's resentful towards the brew making situation.
I started working in this office as an apprentice and was constantly nit-picked at for daft things such as not talking enough, not saying peoples names when I was talking to them and other things which I just thought were pathetic. I used to hate it and go home crying (I was 18) and was constantly looking for something else. My office manager at the time then left and I took over her role and I don't want to make anyone feel the same way that she made me feel.
It's got to the point now where no one will make a brew while these 2 younger member of staff are in the office because they don't want to make those 2 one.
In my eyes, this all seems a bit silly. Should I be saying something to the 2 younger members of staff? It just seems a bit... pathetic really...

I went from a huge office where everyone got their own drinks to a small team where apparently tea rounds were the norm. My line manager took me task about not engaging with office culture by just getting my own water and not offering to make tea for everyone. As an introvert I found it (stupidly) really hard to speak out loud to ask a room of people (8-10, open plan) for some reason and it used to stress me to the point of not drinking or accepting tea! Needless to say, I left again pretty quickly as it wasn’t the office for me.

FFS, the sooner this stupid fucking waste of time that is tea rounds dies out in offices, the better. Want a brew, make one! It's archaic, silly power-tripping nonsense and a colossal waste of valuable time having people make all these cups of fucking tea.

Lots of younger people no longer drink hot drinks. I never drank them in offices and didn't want to get involved in all that turns and rounds bollocks.

Can't believe how much time is wasted paying people to being tea maids.

Stupid beyond belief.

I can't believe people are going to their manager complaining about this sort of petty issue. They need to sort it out themselves.

^ this.

This whole "tea culture" thing in workplaces bamboozles me too. I started a job fresh out of college and my boss automatically expected me to make him a cup of tea every morning because I was young and female (I know this because the only other female in my office did it every morning when she was on shift. He didn't expect any of the men to do it.) I could tell it was bugging him and one day he just came out with it: "Are you not going to make me a cuppa then??" I just looked at him like "no", and carried on with my work. He never asked me again thankfully.

Currently drinking my cup of green tea, made by myself, having passed (and ignored) three other colleagues to do so.

When I started in the civil service in 1984 it was expected that the lowest grade clerical staff made tea & coffee for everyone, every morning straight after doing the filing the lowest grade staff would go round with a trolley, collect cups, not just from the main office but from all the inspectors in their private offices, wash the cups & make tea & coffee, boiling up a huge pan of milk for the coffee & mashing tea in a teapot so big it took 2 staff to lift it to pour out, hand out all the cups. Then at 2.00 the same again, we moved to a new office, got new staff who objected to having to make the drinks. An office meeting was held where the new staff were told that it was part of the privilege of the inspector grade that clerical grades would make their drinks, that was how it had always been & how it would go on being, that it was part of their job description. There was uproar, the new staff complained to the union rep but were told they had to make the drinks. 20 years later when inspectors no longer had their own offices & worked in open plan offices, they started making their own drinks & the tea trolley was scrapped.

I'd be pissed off at always making someone a cup of tea and they couldn't be arsed to reciprocate. I completely get why your colleague is pissed off.

I'd either never make them one again, implement a tea rota or start a new rule that everyone makes their own.

Tea wars. I worked in an office where it was everyone for themselves. Then we had a temp come in, and within days he'd made a special tray holder thing that took 9 cups from the hot drink machine and written a laminated list of names and the number of the drink (it was a classy machine) everyone had. We were allowed an am/pm option. So anyone that wanted to get a drink collected the list and the tray and boom job done. Best job he ever did

If it’s not part of their job description what can you do? They aren’t being polite, but unless that’s a wider issue I wouldn’t pull them up on this alone.

Maybe going forward for new recruits you can let them know at the start that it’s expected that everyone will pitch in to make tea.

Loving the snobbery around the use of the word brew, even to the extent of putting it into inverted commas, just in case anyone thought they would ever use such a common term

I used to work in a office like this with one team member never making the tea/coffee but ALWAYS said 'ooooo I thought you would never ask when somebody else offered'. This team member also happened to be best friends with the manager and often strolled in late for work and took long lunches. It was a running joke in the office but after a while another team member had enough and flipped it caused a lot of tension and I ended up leaving as things turned sour and I hated the atmosphere there.

Little things like this seem so small but when its every day it can add up and it can push already stressed people over the edge.

Make a rota, stick it on the kitchen cupboard, and include the directors.

Actually even though this is your colleague's issue and not yours, I would actually make a comment to the new members of staff (younger) that it'd be appreciated if they made a cuppa once in a while especially for the bosses, maybe even add on a little white lie that this could help re a positive appraisal etc.

Making tea/coffee for the boss was something I did years ago when it was more expected of you if you were junior staff and the only other time I did this was about 8-10 years ago when I started a new role as legal secretary for my boss and a friend of the family knew my boss and sometimes worked for him, she told me if I made him coffee every morning it could count in my favour, e.g. towards a pay rise. Sadly, the mean old bugger never gave me a pay rise despite my coffee making skills.... so that was a waste of time.

Two points, the first of which will make me seem a lot less of a twat than the second:

1. Hate rounds. Much prefer everyone makes their own to avoid this kind of pettishness and the horrible number of shit cups you get from other people.

2. On the other hand... I am a director, I have worked bloody hard on making the company sustainable to keep their jobs viable, I have delivered new benefits and flexibility and am on their side to deliver more. Everyone in my company seems to sidestep their managers to speak to me because they know I'm the one to speak to if they REALLY want a problem solving... I don't want anyone to make my tea, but I'd think it's pretty ungrateful to begrudge my work kick back being that I never have to make the tea!

Institute new rule. Everyone's name gets put into a random generator in excel. Whenever someone suggests a cup of tea, someone is picked at random from those who want one and they have to make it for everyone

"maybe even add on a little white lie that this could help re a positive appraisal etc"

Yea.........don't do this op. Just.......no.

This is a joke right? Surely the right response to the directors is make your own "brew". Ffs.

Really????

It all sounds like a storm in a tea cup.

Just tell the junior staff to join in or not.

The directors can make their own.

So I want a cup of tea, but I can’t have one unless I make a tray full while remembering how each person like’s theirs prepared? What if like me they like to mix it up and do it a bit differently depending on mood? Why, why on earth, don’t you just have people take care of their own beverages?

Christ I'm glad I don't work somewhere where they do rounds. It sounds like it's such a waste of time and a unnecessary source of drama.

Yes this situation can really piss people off. I do think that sometimes younger people don't drink too many hot drinks nowadays, but to ask for one when offered is a bloody cheek if they are not prepared to reciprocate.

I always used to offer but it was maddening having to do a list of other people's fussy likes and dislikes not to mention time consuming. The best way forward would be for everyone to make their own and I would go with this.

Worse still are those colleagues who if you are going out to get your lunch give you some money and ask you to get their lunch which will be a baked potato or something similarly messy. You then have to come back. I used to say that I was doing something that particular day and each day ever after. Wouldnt mind if they ever offered but they were of course too lazy to make that five minute walk.

And, now I've got started, the man who always helped himself to the office cakes when he was not even employed by our company, but never ever brought in so much as a cheapo pack of asda donuts to share. The key is in the word share. Cheeky git. Office pettiness has stayed with me.

I am a director and while I am quite capable, and am perfectly happy, to make anybody a cup of tea or coffee, I generally have it made for me. I don't ask, my employees offer.

I work many more hours than my employees and a lot of these hours include doing things to sort out better working conditions and better rewards for us all. It really is not a great use of my time to make everybody (as really if you are boiling the kettle you should make for everybody & not just yourself) a brew.

He's growing more and more resentful towards the 2 younger members....Now he's complaining that one of them sings to the radio too much

Put it in plain english for complaining colleague - making brews for others is optional and he's free to make that decision.
The 'resentful' attitude and subsequent nit-picking he is now doing is verging on bully behaviour - and THAT is not acceptable.

You lost me when you said that because they are the lower grade staff they are expected to make the tea.

Stop making it for them if it bothers you so much.

Elsie Spot on with your "Worse still are those colleagues who if you are going out to get your lunch give you some money and ask you to get their lunch which will be a baked potato or something similarly messy."

That brings back memories. Them "Oh Shellery, are you off for lunch? Where are you going?" Me: "Corner shop for a sandwich". Them: "Oh whilst you're there, can you get me a can of coke, a Twix and a baked potato*? Here's £2. Oh and the baked potato with beans and cheese. Ta" (Turns round and starts making a phone call).

Baked potato - as in from the other shop 100m away from the corner shop, usually with a large* queue with each person all buying 5 baked potatoes each for their work colleagues - during lunch hour rush = at least 15-20 mins in there. Also, £2 will not cover your cola, Twix and baked potato with beans and cheese.

I know "No" is a full sentence but when the person asking is someone even fractionally more senior than you (or even if it's someone on your level but you are quite friendly with) it's just so hard to say it.

OP - why not say generally in the office, that from now on it's turn taking at tea-making, so if the 2 youngers would like to opt out as they seem to drink less, (not really but how can they argue?) and just do their own when they feel like it, that's fine, but you other 3 will share turns between the 3 of you and won't offer every time. That way it's not underhand and they have a chance to do it/join in. If then they revert back to not taking a turn say "you know what, I think X, X and myself will just do our own between us if that's ok from now on".

God I don't miss fucking tea rotas or makinf everyone else a brew because I'm bloody thirsty.

Why oh why can't everyone just make their own damn cups of tea and coffee and be done with it? It's nothing to do with manners, just let it all go.