To think I should be allowed to sleep!!

[Whycantistaymotivated]

In short. I snore, I can sometimes wake myself up. DP can't sleep if I'm asleep first. I can fall asleep very quickly, I've had broke sleep since DD was born and suffered from pregnancy insomnia so it's safe to say I can fall asleep easy as I am that f@#king tired.

I am now as usual waiting for DP to fall asleep. He normally comes to bed between 12-1am I try to get to bed by 10:30 so I can get a couple of hours before he wakes me up so he can come to bed. Tonight he has come to bed early coz he has a headache so I've not actually had any sleep yet.

TV is on to keep me up until he falls asleep

This is our main arguing topic. We've been together 6 years. If we argue it's about my snoring.

Sorry for the midnight rant but AIBU to just want to sleep!

I think you're probably right sparklysneakers!

Steroid nose spray from doctors can help

@Waveysnail the doctor has told her to lose weight. Steroid nasal spray won't help a problem caused by being fat.

I've had a problem with snoring for the past year (I'm not overweight). I have a doctors appointment on Wednesday as I have tried lots of different options at home and none have worked. I only stay with my partner three nights a week. Mine seems to be allergy related so if I feel quite stuffy I sleep in the spare room. It's literally next door and we sleep with both doors open. I don't wake him up in the spare room so I'm maybe not as loud as some others but it has improved our relationship massively as we are both getting a full nights sleep and no one feels guilty/angry at the other.

I would focus on losing weight and either sleep in the spare room or invest in a sofa bed for the time being. It's not fair on either of you but it is you technically causing the problem so you should be the one to put the most effort into sorting it.

hoppityfrog3

I honestly can’t get myself worked up about other people’s sleeping arrangements. I find it odd that you seem so wound up about it. I don’t ever talk to my friends about whether or not they share a bed with their DP. I know most of them based on other discussions with sleeping arrangments being like a passing comment (one of my friends has night terrors and sleep talks and we’ve discussed that, etc.) and they all share.

Do whatever works for you. I like sleeping in the same bed as DH but he doesn’t snore so he doesn’t keep me awake. Don’t judge others and call them outdated because of what they want to do in their own home.

I just don't believe that all couples in someone's social circle sleep in separate bedrooms. Unless perhaps they're living in an Edith Wharton novel?

I think it's a middle-aged thing.

I would have never guessed when my husband and I first married that we'd be in separate bedrooms by our early 40s, but a lot of my friends have the same arrangement.

This also means I get to sleep with my dog every night - heaven. She snores delicately, yawns/stretches extravagantly, thumps her tail when I go to the loo in the middle of the night....superior company to my husband by a thousand miles.

To all the people saying 'get tested for sleep apnoea', it doesn't work like that. You won't be referred to a sleep clinic just because you snore. You need to have other factors too, such as excessive daytime sleepiness even after 8 hours sleep. OP if you snore with no other symptoms your best bet is to have a really good go at losing weight ( depending how overweight you are). It's not really fair to expect him to just put up with it.

The first step is to lose weight. Losing weight isn't easy, but you don't need to do it quickly. Even half a pound a week, over a year that adds up. And that's not hard.

You need to do something to improve your snoring, if you won't do something for yourself then don't expect him to do anything for you.

The main reason my ex is an ex is because of horrendous snoring. I couldn't sleep due to the noise he made so would de camp to the sofa after an hour of wanting to stab him.
Then he'd wake up, realise I was asleep on the sofa and wake me up to go back to bed!

We tried separate rooms but I could hear him through the walls.

I stppped staying over at his because I had nowhere to escape the snoring.

He refused to do anything about it and I couldn't stand it anymore.

He spent the next 3 mths trying to get me back but I can't do sleep deprivation

My view is if I fell asleep and I'm snoring that much he can't sleep, he doesn't wake me up! He either puts up and tries to fall asleep like I have to if he is snoring or he goes and sleeps on the sofa like I would have too if he was snoring cc

I’ve not read the whole thread so please excuse me if someone has already suggested this but have you considered getting a mouth guard from your orthodontist? I’m overweight and used to snore really loudly it was particularly bad when I was pregnant to the point I would stop breathing sometimes and wake myself up but I had a custom made guard fitted and it has revolutionised my night times. I no longer snore and both me and my partner sleep so much better. I feel so much better in the mornings: snoring is most probably effecting your sleep too and well as your partner. The guard I have is called Silensor and is made from a custom mound of your mouth. The two guards - upper and lower- connect together making your lower jaw protrude slightly whilst stopping your mouth dropping open mouth wide enough to snore. It cost around £200 to have made. Mine last about 2 years a time but that’s probably shorter than most as I grind my teeth and wear down the guard over time. Please consider this option as it sounds horrible having to wait to go to sleep.

Here’s a link:
www.erkodent.de/dental/download/sonst/sl_infoEN.pdf

I too am a snorer and it drives my husband mad. Recently bought Stérimar - Congestion Relief to use before bed after reading reviews on Amazon and my husband has said its stopped me snoring. Worth a try.

I am a snorer sadly, have been since a teenager and I wouldn't say I'm overweight. I was prescribed a nasal spray for a different condition and my snoring has reduced dramatically as a result.
Just a suggestion but it is awful when you are really tired and either cant sleep because of the snoring (my partner sometimes snores heavily too due to medication) or you wake yourself up. I hope you can find a solution. x

He's being an arse if his behaviour will mean you can't sleep. I think him waking you up every night is awful, it's not like your sleep isn't broken already. There has to be a better - even temporary - solution to that.
But you absolutely have to tackle the snoring, I speak from experience that being kept awake/woken up by someone else snorting and grunting through the night is pure torture.

YABU OP.

I am the same as your DH. If my DH is asleep before me it is like water torture. Have you been to see your GP about your snoring?

Have you tried this specific snoring device OP?

www.boots.com/snoreeze-snoring-relief-oral-device-10217887

It's the only one that works for my husband.

Your husband should go to bed earlier so you can too tbh And wear earplugs.

My partner snores
Buy him some silicone earplugs
Works for me I don't hear a thing usually
Why should you put yourself through this???
Everyone is entitled to a good nights sleep
Make up a bed in the shed and stick him in it!
'Over entitlement' comes to mind
You want a partner not a supervisor :/

Anyone thinking that nannytothequeen and OP are the same person?

I think on the whole 99% of people who snore don't give a shiny shit about the other person

Massive generalisation, much? 🙄

DH and I both have phases of snoring; he snores when he’s dropping off to sleep but we both go to sleep listening to audiobooks so I can’t really hear it.

Mine’s a combination of medication side effects, allergies and PTSD nightmares. I’ve found a bed wedge, mouth spray and nose spray really help. For some reason I snore REALLY loudly during a nightmare but DH gently wakes me and then I don’t snore afterwards.

He’s worn earplugs in the past and we can sleep separately if I’m having a bad night. Yes, snoring is awful and infuriating but it is possible to compromise. My DH would never refuse to wear earplugs; he knows I can’t help it. OP I take it your DH never wears earphones either? It does sound like he could at least try earplugs while you’re losing weight.

Earplugs.....

My husband and I sleep in separate beds due to his snoring. It's not wonderful for our marriage

We do the same. It IS wonderful for our marriage as we both get a decent night’s sleep.

I have my own room.
Its heaven.
Aside from the snoring I dont miss DH farting,wriggling,flopping about from 4am onwards or just the man smell /stuff.
I would say its saved my marriage as I dont want to murder him anymore .

Have you tried a high pillow?

I sleep separately from my partner. He doesn't like it but as he is the one who snores I took the decision. It was that or split up. Sleep deprivation is hell on earth.