AIBU to leave an 8 week old to cry?!

[DONTPICKTHEMILKSPOTS]

I've been rocking him in a swing chair on and off since 7pm. Not to mention the hellish day.

I only breed arsehole children that don't sleep. Though I love them very very much.

I've tried countless things.
White noise
Black out blinds
Routines (I paid £34 for one!)
Something that smells like me
Various swing chairs
Rocking chair
Patting
Shush and pat
Etc etc etc etc

Now he's ridiculously over tired and I'm ridiculously pissed off.
My first child was the same.

The ONLY way he sleeps is in the car.

It's not sustainable to do every nap and bed time in the car.

He's next to me screaming.

I'm not asking for suggestions.
Believe me, I've tried it.

He used to use a dummy Bert but the last week or so has started refusing.

Thanks for the kindness and support fucking hell

Sorry but you literally said shall I leave an 8 week old to cry! The answer is no, of course you can’t.

Yes 8 wks is too young. But you’re not leaving him to cry are you.
You need to sleep, exhaustion is making you irrational. Is there a relative or friend’s house nearby where you can sleep 8 hours at a stretch once a week to get through this difficult period. If there is, you can express and your husband can take over, maybe with him doing the same once a week too so you’re both getting at least one decent rest?

Sorry but you literally said shall I leave an 8 week old to cry! The answer is no, of course you can’t.

Yes, you can. If you're reaching your limit then you absolutely can put the baby down somewhere safe and leave him to cry while you go elsewhere to pull yourself together.

Oh OP I totally get where you’re coming from. There is nothing worse than that helpless feeling you get when your baby is screaming and nothing you do is right. When DS was having overtired screaming fits (thank fuck he’s become a way more reliable napper now) I found that even if he only had two minutes of sleep, he would then wake up hungry and I could feed him into a deeper sleep. It’s just getting to that first little bit of sleep that is hell.

Tiger in the Tree hold

Skin to skin

Music that will help you relax as baby will be picking up on your stress and get stressed himself, resulting in vicious circle.

Also google Dr Sears high needs baby.

Some babies are just built that way. My DD ticked every single item on the list and looking back (she’s now 4) I can see that some of her baby fussiness was down to the reflux/colic/anterior AND posterior tongue ties/severe CMPA/soy protein allergy/birth trauma/forceps delivery (did I mention we had a tough time?!!?) and some of it was/is just her personality

@youreoversensitive, that is a totally cuntish thing to say.

I had a screamer.
Get yourself to sleep, or at least try to rest, while he is quiet.
In other words, get off the internet for now.
for you.

OP, anyone who said suck it up or any combination of "have you tried feeding/cuddling/changing him?" have not had the joy of a reflux baby or one with allergies. I have. Twice. You rant away to your heart's content. Nothing prepares you for a screamer who won't sleep. Nothing compares to the constant crying of a baby with reflux. I get it. I'm here. If I lived nearby I'd come and take a shift. I've survived it twice and I'm never having a third. Brutal.

You have my sympathy. My first was a screaming machine. DH worked nights lucky bastard and DS1 didn't sleep much at all from 6weeks. He is a lovely 41 year old now but I haven't forgotten how desperate I was then. The only time he shut up was feeding and being pushed in the pram. I didn't drive then but I walked miles. The minute the pram stopped he woke up. it didn't work pushing back and forth it had to be proper pushing.
I can't believe how unsympathetic some people have been. If I lived around the corner I would come give you a break.

I bet there's loads of couples out there who would love to adopt your newborn and put him to sleep. If you're not suitable to follow the basic mamo instinct should not have had a second baby.

Just fuck right off. Theres always one that posts like a sanctamonious and vile twat.

I bet there's loads of couples out there who would love to adopt your newborn and put him to sleep. If you're not suitable to follow the basic mamo instinct should not have had a second baby

ODFOD. Have you actually had an infant scream at you for hours on end with no apparent reasoning? It is HELL. OP is following all her bloody instincts and her baby is still not settling. Don’t try to make her feel like a shitty mother for having a difficult time.

It will get better. It may not be soon, but it will happen.

My DD was a screamer too. I’m amazed I didn’t lose my mind.

The one thing that helped was accepting that my only real goal was to take care of her. I could do that 24/7 and let everything else fall away.

I know you don’t want ideas, but I would try
Having him lay on you or on your lap. I did this when my back gave out.

Taking a bath together. At this age, It helps to have another adult available to hand you the baby in the tub and for you to hand back before getting out.

youreoversensitive that’s just unnecessary, unkind and goady

Looking after an very unsettled, screamy non sleeping baby is so so hard, especially when severely sleep deprived.

Our first baby was so longed for and hard fought for after many years and I still found it so hard.

And anyway the OP is trying to put the baby to sleep, some babies will not sleep!!!!

OP, when you say you've got oversupply, what are his nappies like?
I strongly recommend continuing to try with the dummies.
It's awful, I've been there.

youreoversensitive that's an absolute horrendous and shameful thing to say.

OP I hope it goes well tonight.

But perhaps the first thing to do is to.work out a way for your DH to take part and give you a break without it turning into an argument..

Sympathies I had one that cried for 3 years, yes you read that correctly.
The best thing is to pick your baby up, a bit of crying is expected, but prolonged crying you know you can’t ignore, I’m sure you have tried all obvious, fed watered clean blah blah all that’s left is a pain somewhere. You have my sympathies.

Can you try cabbage leaves on your boobs to help with the oversupply? Or take him off for a sec when you feel the letdown kick in, hold a breast pad over your boob to collect the milk then put him back on once the flow has slowed down?

If baby wants to comfort suck try block feeding ie just feeding on one side for an hour solidly and then switching so that each side is really drained and flow is really slow.

I bet there's loads of couples out there who would love to adopt your newborn and put him to sleep. If you're not suitable to follow the basic mamo instinct should not have had a second baby.

FFS. Fuck off. Horrible response and absolutely no need to compare, people are allowed to be at their wits end without having to read your ridiculous comment. It is very sad that people struggle to concieve don’t get me wrong, but your comment is NOT very relevant for this thread.

If oversupply is what’s stopping him feeding to sleep have you tried lying back/reclining so he’s kind of facing down on top if you more? Apparently gravity then stems the flow a bit and it stops them being choked so much, I had a breastfeeding nurse show me as DD kept pulling off as I was drowning her! That said if the patting works I sometimes had success with DS with the patting getting gradually lighter and lighter until it stopped or slower and slower until I was just resting my hand and then very gradually lifting it up and releasing the pressure - no promises but it’s worth a shot.
Oh and yes, you absolutely can leave them to cry for long enough to have a wee/ get a cup of tea etc. I swear some people in this thread are being deliberately obnoxious. Any child with an older sibling occasionally gets left to cry, I’m not going to leave my toddler DS halfway through a nappy change covered in poo with no nappy on to rush off and pick up DD the second she wails. A few minutes is totally different to leaving them to cry it out.

Infertility for those who want a baby is heartbreaking.
Exhausted parents and newborns that can’t settle, crying for hours and hours is also heart breaking in very different ways.

I feel your pain.
Have you got any support?

Can someone take him away in the car for an hour or so just to let you get a bit of sleep? It won't solve the problem but you'll feel a fraction better.
If you can express, then DH can take him away for a bit longer.

I remember my DH pushing DD around the streets in the early hours when he realised I was at breaking point.
I found that, when possible, outside was better - the sound wasn't bouncing off the walls!

Have you tried brushing his face? Start at the forehead and gently brush over the eyes. Sometimes when DD was overtied, forcing her to shut her eyes would work.
It's a long shot. If he's in your arms, then forcebly slow you breathing down, taking a deep slow breath in and a slow breath out. Make sure your breathes move your chest/stomach so DS picks up the calm rhythm.

Good Luck. Hope you get somewhere with your GP.