AIBU to leave an 8 week old to cry?!

[DONTPICKTHEMILKSPOTS]

I've been rocking him in a swing chair on and off since 7pm. Not to mention the hellish day.

I only breed arsehole children that don't sleep. Though I love them very very much.

I've tried countless things.
White noise
Black out blinds
Routines (I paid £34 for one!)
Something that smells like me
Various swing chairs
Rocking chair
Patting
Shush and pat
Etc etc etc etc

Now he's ridiculously over tired and I'm ridiculously pissed off.
My first child was the same.

The ONLY way he sleeps is in the car.

It's not sustainable to do every nap and bed time in the car.

He's next to me screaming.

I'm not asking for suggestions.
Believe me, I've tried it.

Gosh it's hard, DS was just the same, him crying, me crying, on and on it will end.

Obviously YABU to leave him to cry but of course YANBU to put him somewhere safe and go and stand in the garden or whatever for 2 minutes.

Totally cliche but also totally true, everything's a season, this too will pass.

Sending strength and virtual

Perhaps not now but in the day/evenings have you tried just putting him outside.

My DS had CMPA and before diagnosed the only way I could get him to settle is by holding him upright, in a sling or the best tip my mum ever gave me, which was wrap him up, put him in his swing chair and stick it in the garden. The fresh air done him good, the swing kept him slightly upright, and change of scenery distracted him. He used to fall asleep in minutes, I would just sit at the back door looking at him until I plucked the courage to very very carefully carry the swing chair back inside

You have my sympathies OP and an unmumsnetty hug. Ds1 had severe floppy larynx and reflux, I feel your pain. Ranitidine did bugger all, its shite ask to change to Omeprazole, it worked so much better, it saved my sanity.

Nope, all kids are different and sometimes they seem like they're designed to push us past breaking point. You're doing an amazing job, you sound bloody dedicated and just so so exhausted and fed up. Totally normal, totally natural, you are doing amazingly well at 6-8 weeks in what is, as others have said, peak shit in babyhood.

Purple crying I just skim read but that sounds very bloody familiar right now!

Do you have anyone who can help you out a bit? Give you a break during the day for an hour?

Fucking hell you would think three kids in id have cracked it?!

I'm four kids in and haven't managed that one yet. During one of DDs many sleepless nights I jokingly whispered to DH that I was going to drop her out the window and we could retrieve her in the morning once all three of us had some sleep

He'll be fine to be left for a few mins to cry. You dont have to rush over each time.

If you have tried lots of things, then it won't hurt to leave him a little.

And don't take the comments personally from the "perfect mum brigade"

(Safely) swaddling???
White noise??
Washing machine or hairdryer noise??

We also used books to raise the head of the cot so he wasn't laying flat which helped. Maybe worth a try?

I had a screamer. It sucks.

Thanks for the suppport I really really needed to hear it.

He's asleep. I'm still patting, if I stop he wakes and cries and I need a wee.

DH is here to help but honestly Ive got to the point where he does nothing right (I'm a harsh OP!) because I'm so tired and irritable, so he does help but it's limited at times like this.

I'm risking a wee...

I have one out of 4 that slept like a normal human.

Other 3 are/were robot babies sent here just to kill me.

Youngest is now 2. Will not sleep more than 2 hours at a stretch and breastfeeds constantly......almost hourly sometimes at night. I’m absolutely at my wits end and have started hallucinating.

I’ve bought the no cry sleep solution but your baby is way too young for that.

I sympathise, completely. It’s soul destroying to be exhausted

Do you have any practical support to get a break?

Have you tried a screen? Yeah yeah, I know, but better a screen than completely losing your shit.

Then tomorrow try the garden, wrap him up and put him in his pram, in the garden. Hi inside and he’ll sleep really well, we all did 😊.

...well, our mums thought we did, we probably roared half the time, but they kept their sanity!

Failing that, post him to me, I’ll spend ages snuggling, and sniffing that little newborn head ...hmmm then when he’s doing my head in, you might be ready for another go! X

Unconventional but what about one of those calpol vapour nightlights? Or that sleepytime spray stuff you can get?

He stayed asleep!!

I've got this thing called a Myhummy which plays a constant noise which is on loud so I think I'm going to have to learn to sleep with that on .

That's taken since 7pm to get him to sleep when usually he doesn't last an hour.

What's that phrase you're supposed to repeat?

This too will end? Something like that.

When I was a baby, my dad got sick of me crying one night and left me downstairs shut in the kitchen and went to bed. Parenting 👌. Mum went mental when she she found out and would use it as an example of how my dad has always been a bit of an arsehole.

I then had my own baby and completely understood wanting to just shut him away and finally get a good night's rest. I didn't, but I did allow myself, when the baby had been offered everything I could possibly provide (food, burping, rocking, music, changing, checking temperature, etc etc), a little guilt-free break to go and wee in peace, get a drink and a snack and have a little cry. Then I could come back calmer and try again.

Sorry things are shit right now OP!

This too will end? Something like that.

This too shall pass.

And it usually passes two days before the very next annoying phase begins.

I was such a screamy nightmare baby that my dad snapped and pushed me down the bottom of the garden (on a nice Summer’s day) “so the neighbours can have a fucking turn listening to her!!!” much to my mother’s horror.

OP I would go back to GP and get the ranitidine switched for omeprazole.

Here’s the dose prescription recommendations

bnfc.nice.org.uk/drug/omeprazole.html

It works much better than ranitidine ime with birth my DC. In fact ranitidine made them both worse as it gave them stomach aches.

Also like pp said 8 weeks is peak crying age. It sucks and is so hard but it’s a necessary stage for brain development. From an evolutionary perspective it helps with neurological organisation. Fussiness and crying is even observed in other primates. It made me feel better to tell myself that anyway - made me feel like they weren’t crying because I was a shite mum and it was actually a necessary part of brain development...!

You have’t said whether you’ve tried feeding to sleep or a dummy?

You sound very similar to me, I was constantly taking my tiredness and anger out on my husband. Tbh though, at 8 weeks you are still recovering too. I think saying to him 'look, sit here and pat baby's back in the dark, indefinitely, like I have to do while I go for some me time' isn't that harsh! My baby's nearly 1 and I'm still snapping at my husband that I had to carry her, birth her and care for her when I feel the burden of care is weighted too much on to me...! Put yourself first - god knows with 2 other kids if you don't no one else will!

I can't breast feed him to sleep because my supply is ridiculous and chokes him. It's calming down but breast feeding isn't pleasant for him.

He's trying to suck his thumb which is actually the main cause of why tonight wen so south. His thumb is game but his fingers really aren't.

I forget how hard this is.

Just seen he's asleep! Hooray!

yanbu.... everyone has their limits and even the most patient of parents loses their shit at one point or another, better to put baby down and walk away for 10 mins then to carry on relentlessly trying to settle a baby that just... will... not... settle! I've also had two really really difficult babies who seemed to only have two settings, sleeping (lightly for very short periods) or screaming their lungs out. Just keep reminding yourself that although you're in the depths of hell with it now, it will not last forever and in the big scheme of things, this shitty "phase" is relatively short lived. A phrase I was told that really helped me, even to sometimes appreciate even the fucking awful times was "the days may be long, but the years are short". It just kind of put into perspective how we all say as parents that time goes so quickly once you have kids, and before you know it, that sweet baby boy will be celebrating his first birthday and this will all be a distant memory that you look back on and think "How did we get through that shit?!". Be kind to yourself, welcome whatever help you can get, and take regular childfree breaks. Even 20 mins in Tesco by yourself can change your mindset and recharge you ready for tomorrow. Do NOT feel any sort of guilt for wanting a break from your children, you're a mummy first, but you are also still you, and you need looking after too. It's so bloody tough right now, but trust me, you're doing amazing, and it WILL all be worth it. xxx