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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to be contacted by PIL about this whilst on holiday?

264 replies

Holidayrage · 18/02/2019 21:16

We (me, DH, 3DC) are currently abroad on holiday and have been since Friday. To avoid drip feeding, DH and I both work, DH is full time and I work 4 days per week. I am 21 weeks into a stressful pregnancy, having suffered a partial placental abruption at 19 weeks. As a result I am having to take things very easy. Plus, this is the only chance we will get for a family break until the end of May.

PIL called this evening and apparently want to talk to me about liability insurance. This has nothing to do with my area of work at all, but apparently as I am a solicitor they want to ask me. This has now caused a row with DH as apparently I am being very unreasonable in not wanting to deal with this whilst on holiday. Honestly when I saw the number come up I thought they must be calling with bad news...since we saw them only 3 days ago (the day we left) and are back on Friday anyway.

So, mumsnet jury, AIBU not to want to be bothered on holiday about this?!

OP posts:
SimoneStrasser · 18/02/2019 21:20

No, don’t call them .

It can wait and your husband can call his parents and tell them you’re resting and relaxing.

KurriKurri · 18/02/2019 21:20

No not unreasonable at all - they can wait until you get back (or if it is that urgent, find another solicitor and pay for their services !) Your Dh should be intercepting them and telling them not to bother you except for an emergency (and this isn't one)

GnomeDePlume · 18/02/2019 21:21

Is there any reason why they need to deal with this urgently?

Mouikey · 18/02/2019 21:22

It can wait until you’re back!

KitKat1985 · 18/02/2019 21:23

YANBU. Tell them you will speak to them when you get back.

PanamaPattie · 18/02/2019 21:23

Block them. They sound very entitled. The question can wait until you get home. You can un-block later if you feel like it.

PersonaNonGarter · 18/02/2019 21:24

Fucking Hell. I would be very, very assertive about this. Under no circumstances.

Nomorepies · 18/02/2019 21:24

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on the poster's request.

MsTSwift · 18/02/2019 21:24

My sil (gp) was grilled by fil about his urinary tract issues over Sunday lunch

ChasedByBees · 18/02/2019 21:24

YA absolutely NBU! It’s really selfish of them to call you about this and what is your DH thinking, assuming this will be fine?

Original poster
Holidayrage · 18/02/2019 21:24

Ooh this is very interesting! DH has stomped off in an actual huff about this, has called me ‘weird’ for not wanting to deal with it and has told PIL I will call tomorrow!

OP posts:
Drum2018 · 18/02/2019 21:25

That would wreck my head. Tell your Dh to Google someone who deals with it in their area and to send them the number. Your Dh is being unreasonable expecting you to think about work related shit while on holidays, regardless of who it's for.

Aprilshowersarecomingsoon · 18/02/2019 21:26

Suggest he swots up tonight on what they want to know and he can ring them. You will be busy doing naff all!!
He is as much a cf as them!!

WhatchaMaCalllit · 18/02/2019 21:26

Congrats on the pregnancy. Hopefully it will go smoothly for you from now on.

In relation to the inlaws and your DH, you have a DH problem (a small one in comparison to some of the threads I've read on MN but it is there).

If you were a neuro surgeon, do you think they would phone you up about a tummy ache? If you were a university lecturer specializing in say Art History, would they phone you up with a query about general university admission policies for example?

If you have a colleague who can help them out with their insurance query, I'd ask colleague if it would be ok to give their details to your inlaws and then contact the inlaws saying "Mary and David, I'm on holidays and insurance is not my field of expertise so I've been in touch with my colleague Sarah and she has agreed to discuss your query with you. Her details are X, Y and you can email her on Z. Now as I'm on holidays, I'm going back to relax. See you when we return".

Your DH should be telling his parents that due to doctor enforced rest they are not to be contacting you about work related issues and you're not allowed to have a high blood pressure rate (or whatever you want to tell them) and as such, talking 'shop talk' tends to send your BP sky high so it's really not in the best interest of you or the baby to do it, so can they stop please?

Topseyt · 18/02/2019 21:27

Not unreasonable at all. That can wait until you get back.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 18/02/2019 21:27

Against the grain, I think it won’t hurt you to spend 5 minutes putting their mind at rest. I’m with your dh.

Weezol · 18/02/2019 21:27

YANBU at all - you're on bloody holiday and pregnant with medical instruction to take it easy - I take this to mean both physically and mentally and to avoid stress.

That they couldn't even let you have 72 hours peace, especially as it's work related and outside your area of expertise anyway is awful.

DH needs to wind his neck in sharpish, he's being a dick.

SwedishEdith · 18/02/2019 21:27

Your husband is definitely the weird one here. I'd ignore all calls from them until I got home.

Drum2018 · 18/02/2019 21:28

Do not call tomorrow and keep your own phone on silent. If they ring him tell him loudly, so they can hear, that they should call someone who specialises in it instead.

Soontobe60 · 18/02/2019 21:31

I think i must be the only person, along with your DH, that would ring them back! It's a phone call, it'll take very little of your time up, so unless you were in the other side of the world in a completely different time zone, it's no stress to you.

AnneLovesGilbert · 18/02/2019 21:31

Have you asked him why his parents and their stupid problem is more important than his exhausted pregnant wife getting an essential break? Sorry, he’s being a selfish twat. He can bloody well deal with them. Put your foot down.

Nojobistoobig · 18/02/2019 21:34

If it’s not a quick, easy call then I would say that you need to refer to references at home/in the office to give them the right advice so unfortunately not much you can do while you’re away.

Sewrainbow · 18/02/2019 21:34

Yanbu - no need to discuss this whilst on holiday, have a rest xx

diddl · 18/02/2019 21:34

"This has nothing to do with my area of work at all, but apparently as I am a solicitor they want to ask me"

So get your husband to phone them & tell them that.

AnnaMagnani · 18/02/2019 21:35

YANBU.

My ILs decided to discuss a derogatory news story related to my specialty over Christmas dinner. DH (then my fiance) did not see the problem.

It was only after we had strong words that he wised up, otherwise he would never have progressed to husband material.

You are on holiday. Your ILs should frankly only be contacting you if one of them was seriously ill.