To not want to be contacted by PIL about this whilst on holiday?

[Holidayrage]

We (me, DH, 3DC) are currently abroad on holiday and have been since Friday. To avoid drip feeding, DH and I both work, DH is full time and I work 4 days per week. I am 21 weeks into a stressful pregnancy, having suffered a partial placental abruption at 19 weeks. As a result I am having to take things very easy. Plus, this is the only chance we will get for a family break until the end of May.

PIL called this evening and apparently want to talk to me about liability insurance. This has nothing to do with my area of work at all, but apparently as I am a solicitor they want to ask me. This has now caused a row with DH as apparently I am being very unreasonable in not wanting to deal with this whilst on holiday. Honestly when I saw the number come up I thought they must be calling with bad news...since we saw them only 3 days ago (the day we left) and are back on Friday anyway.

So, mumsnet jury, AIBU not to want to be bothered on holiday about this?!

OP has just had a stressful pregnancy issue and been told to take things "very easy". She is probbly too exhausted to think straight and when you are surprised with a call like that and you are feeling unwell, its hard to frame the perfect answer.
I wish some people on this thread would just give her a break.Comments like you are lucky to have a holiday are just pointless and mean.
OP. I hope you get a chance to relax on what is left of your holdiay.

*probably, not probbly soz. Typing on a jolting train

I am also a lawyer and get this a lot.

I work in a very narrow area of law and have done for 29 years. It used to stress me out (DCousin being charged by the FA..DNeice with her potty mouth and an industrial tribunal..).

Now I tell people they would be better asking their hairdresser/postie/pub landlord.

So no, you are Not BU - especially on holiday. Ignore.

@GreatDuckCookery Are you the OP’s MIL or something? Just wondering why you seem to think she owes you any explanations.

I’m still seething on your behalf OP, and absolutely gobsmacked by the IL apologists on here falling over themselves to justify the IL’s behaviour (they could be “elderly” and “fretting”), and criticise yours. The ILs behaved selfishly and thoughtlessly, that’s all there is to it. Hoildayrage deserves her break without twattish interruptions from family or friends or anybody else. Grrr, it makes me mad for you 😡

“Seething’ - really? Over this?

IHateUncleJamie how have asked the OP for explanations? I am baffled to why if it what the PILs wanted to know wasn’t her field why and how she talked it through with them. A quick text to say she didn’t know anything about it would have done the job, phone off and relax.

Yes, “seething” Pictish. Possibly because of years of holidays spoiled by the interruption of work into family time. So possibly my issue, but I really get it.

@GreatDuckCookery “Why the OP didn’t explain this I don’t understand”

It’s “bizarre” and you’re “baffled”. You and a couple of others seem very invested and critical. You answered the OP’s question, why are you still so bothered by it?

Jamie, you'll learn that some people cannot possibly understand that ILs could be in the wrong.

Its "baffling".

The reason a quick text wouldn't have worked is that her DH thought she was being unreasonable, wanted her to sort out FIL's questions and booked in a phonecall for to do it the next day. The poor woman is trying to relax.

@MorningRichie So it seems!

Only on Mumsnet people say that family is not allowed to contact family when on holiday unless emergency - they are not distant relatives, they are in-laws. I really sometimes wonder if Mumsnet is parallel world because in the one I live in these are not the reactions I get.

I am surprised nobody has suggested that OP LTB her hubby over this - in Mumsnet world every husband is just perfect and doesn’t have an alternative opinion and when he does the divorce happens...

Obviously families are allowed to contact each other when on holiday. However, it's pretty obvious that they should not do so when (a) there's no urgent need to do so; (b) they only want to cadge free advice relating to family member's work from which she is supposed to be taking a rest; and (c) they know that said family member has been having a traumatic time with a difficult pregnancy and really needs to be left in peace to relax and rest.

Meh I don't think I'd be that bothered by this. I'd just say "it's not my field sorry can't help" (If it was my field I'd probably just say, I'd talk to them when I got back). I can totally understand OP not wanting to think about work or tedious issue like this but it's quite possible IL's didn't realise how disruptive one question would be.

Let me join you in your outrage Op. You are unwell (or at least delicate right now) and on holiday. NO-ONE should get to interrupt your holiday unless it is life theatening to you (or a very close family member) or you are the MD of a large company about to go bankrupt. This was not. So what if they're family? It was an enquiry that could wait until after you got back.

Hope the baby keeps going.

I work in IT and get this too. Why anyone would think I want to resolve their non-urgent technical query while on holiday, I have no idea. They usually get ignored until I get back. Woe betide anyone who tried to do a side run to my DH. They'd get very short shrift - from him.

@Mikulkin Not wanting to be disturbed on holiday is not just a MN thing. 🙄 I’m as close as can be with my SIL and the only contact we have when either of us is on holiday abroad is the odd text to share a nice photo. I would NEVER ask her a work related question when she’s on holiday and that’s reciprocated. She’s not on MN by the way.

It’s being thoughtful and respecting people’s boundaries is all; asking yourself “Can this wait until x is back?”

It is incredibly rude to call anyone when they are on holiday except when there is some news that has to be shared - I.e. granny Only has 3 days to live so if you want to say goodbye... or granny has died and we wanted you to know so you didn't find out another way. Anything else can wait. It's called observing boundaries.

OP, the first time I read your post I thought your DH had a big argument with his parents for disturbing you while on holiday! I thought what a lovely caring husband you have!

Alas I now see that’s not the case - just yet another bloody man who is completely unable to respect and offer support to his pregnant partner!

You are definitely not BU - I hope the rest of the holidays will be more bearable. 💐💐💐

I don’t think you were being unreasonable at all OP. Your PILs were being a bit thoughtless, but not malicious at least. However, your DHs outburst was, quite frankly, ridiculous! He himself knows how you need to kick back and take it easy so I can’t understand why he’d stress you out even more. Glad it’s all sorted though. Best of luck with your pregnancy 🤰

YANBU - firstly, as a solicitor, it’s drives me insane that people think you can offer advice in EVERY single area of law and secondly, you should be relaxing. They should respect this and should your husband. It can wait. Make the most of the time you are away while you are there. Plenty of time to sort it later xxx Be kind to you and LO and relax xx

My ILs are like this - criticised me for studying too much and not calling my MIL at least once a week as they expected of a good little DIL and then when I qualified calling up and demanding urgent legal advice on a range of topics and then getting arsey with me when I said it wasn't my specialism.

If it’s not urgent it can wait until you’re back. You’re supposed to be on holiday!

I'm a London Lloyd's based insurance expert, I can answer it for you if it's in my field of expertise? At least that would take pressure if you ? Sorry you have to deal with stress on holiday