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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL taking baby out without telling me

240 replies

avidreader3 · 13/02/2019 23:20

I wanted to get other opinions on this as I'm not sure whether I'm being overly sensitive about it.

My MIL is currently visiting, we see her every few weeks, so she isn't too familiar with the baby. Earlier today she was in the house playing with the baby. I popped upstairs for a few minutes. Next thing I hear is the front door shut. I look outside the window and see her walking down the street with the baby in the pram and the dog. She hadn't told us she was going out, she had my handbag in the pram and the dog hadn't even got his collar on.

I had a bit of a rant at my partner about this and he phoned her and told her to come back. Apparently she was just going for a walk, couldn't find the dog collar so didn't put it on and knew my handbag was in there but didn't think much of it. Plus she doesn't seem to think it's weird to just take my 5 month old baby away from me without telling me.

I still feel wound up about it. Is this weird behaviour or do I need to chill out?

OP posts:
LuluBellaBlue · 13/02/2019 23:21

Weird and completely over stepping your boundaries, like who the fuck actually does that?! I’d be furious

Flipflop789 · 13/02/2019 23:22

I would not be okay with this. Get her told

LiveThisLife · 13/02/2019 23:23

Absolutely weird in so many ways for all of that, she clearly ran the baby outside when to were upstairs as a chance to get the baby by herself. She’s bonkers.

ScafellPoke · 13/02/2019 23:24

That’s fucking weird!

JasperKarat · 13/02/2019 23:25

It is weird, depends where she was going I guess. DM popped round last week while DH was at work I took the opportunity to have a long hot shower while she watched DS (10 weeks) when I got out there was a note saying popped out to get milk, there's a shop at the end of my street, she'd gone to make tea and we'd run out of milk so she'd put baby in the pram and walked down there, it's about a 3-4 minute walk. I was fine with that, but your situation seems different, where were you and DH?

FiveRedBricks · 13/02/2019 23:26

She needs a few stern words 😳

Original poster
avidreader3 · 13/02/2019 23:27

My partner and I were both upstairs! She could've easily told us she was going out. She was just going for a walk, nowhere in particular.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 13/02/2019 23:33

I would be absolutely livid. This is totally unacceptable and any trust I had in her would be gone. There is no excuse for what she's done and I wouldn't have her back in my home, quite frankly. Someone, ANYONE, taking my child without my permission would be a deal breaker for me.

Eliza9917 · 13/02/2019 23:41

I'd have wanted to call the police and tell them my baby had been taken. That would teach her a lesson and show her how seriously out of order this is.

Original poster
avidreader3 · 13/02/2019 23:46

I'm glad other people don't think this is okay. My partner kind of shrugged it off as a 'well we know she's not not normal' type of comment. I think she thinks I'm overreacting.

OP posts:
QuintadiMalago · 13/02/2019 23:47

Yes, I think you should go no contact immediately. Cut her off with no possible chance of any reconciliation at all. As she raised your DH successfully then that obviously means she is narcissistic incompetent twat and she'll never respect your boundaries. Nip this in the bud now op,
Phone somebody, anywhere and report her.

VeganCow · 13/02/2019 23:52

Was the dog not a lead then?!

HappydaysArehere · 13/02/2019 23:55

Baby taken without telling you; then the dog without a collar! That surely showed how ridiculously careless she was, not to speak of waltzing off with your handbag which she could at least have removed before leaving. I hope you made it clear that she was never to do anything like that again. Do you live in a rural area where traffic is light - can’t understand taking a dog out without a collar.

DontMakeMeShushYou · 13/02/2019 23:55

I'd have wanted to call the police and tell them my baby had been taken. That would teach her a lesson and show her how seriously out of order this is.

Fingers crossed I've failed to pick up on the heavy sarcasm in your post.

If not, what a stupendously idiotic idea. Don't you think the police have more than enough to do on limited resources without being used to score petty points?

QuintadiMalago · 13/02/2019 23:56

Btw, yes yabu

Myfoolishboatisleaning · 13/02/2019 23:56

I wouldn’t be upset, I think she is trying to be helpful, walking your dog and giving you some alone time. Your baby is 5 months old, not 5 days. Just tell her, it does not have to be a big deal.

Lizzie48 · 13/02/2019 23:56

This isn't okay at all and your DP needs to make it clear that if mustn't happen again.

Original poster
avidreader3 · 13/02/2019 23:56

No, the dog had no collar or lead on! He's very well behaved but I still don't think that's a good excuse, especially as he doesn't know MIL that well and I couldn't guarantee he'd listen to her. It's not really acceptable to take any dog out without a collar. I know she wouldn't do that with her own dog so I'm not sure why she thinks it's fine to do it with mine.

OP posts:
VeganCow · 13/02/2019 23:58

That’s awful. I’d be pissed off if she only had the dog minus a lead, never mind the baby too..

CallMeRachel · 13/02/2019 23:58

She did this on purpose to give you a fright imo, what a sick twisted woman.

I can almost see her glee in hurrying out the house as soon as you went upstairs, couldn't spend more than a second looking for dog collar as she just wanted to bolt.

Very odd, twisted behaviour.

DontMakeMeShushYou · 13/02/2019 23:58

It's not really acceptable to take any dog out without a collar.

It's illegal. The law states that a dog must wear a tag in public as well as be microchipped.

Original poster
avidreader3 · 14/02/2019 00:00

QuintadiMalago if I hadn't heard the door shut then I wouldn't have known she'd gone out. What if something had happened, I would have no idea where my baby or dog was?

OP posts:
MissConductUS · 14/02/2019 00:02

I would never leave her alone with the baby again if I were you.

It's really off that she didn't tell you what she was doing. It's not like she was borrowing an umbrella.

QuintadiMalago · 14/02/2019 00:09

CallmeRachel
Projection much?
Ok op I get your point that you were upset but, think about it. She raised your partner and he's survived so as much as it pissed you off. She may just have an inkling about children and possibly dogs.
Unless there's going to be a massive drip feed that she's a senile, dithering, ancient old crone. Although this is Mumsnet so if she's over 45 then the dementia comments will be here soon

ineedaholidaynow · 14/02/2019 00:10

Vegan I was going to say exactly the same thing!

She obviously wasn’t trying to be helpful, she wanted to get out of the house as quickly as possible before you noticed, hence she didn’t have time to find the dog’s collar and lead, and remove your handbag from the pram.

If she was trying to be helpful she would have asked if you would like her to take the baby and the dog for a walk. Someone is only being helpful if they actually do something that you want doing!

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