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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To put toddler in nursery when I have a days annual leave?

312 replies

Sunday89 · 05/02/2019 09:47

My 16 month goes to nursery 4 days per week and enjoys it. He was poorly last week and we ended up taking an extra day and a half off between me and DH to keep him off. He’s pretty much better now just a cough and runny nose but he’s passed his bugs onto me and I feel grotty Sad
I had a day booked off today to use up leave before I lose it and had thought about doing something fun together, but I feel really rough and had a terrible night sleep so I’ve ended up dropping him into nursery (as it’s all paid for anyway).
Now I’m feeling aaaallll the guilt about leaving him there when he’s not 100% better himself yet, and wondering about whether to pick him up after his lunch. But then the other side of me wants to enjoy my day off, do a bit of house tidying then lie on the sofa and watch Netflix Blush AIBU!!?? And what would you do...

OP posts:
Huntawaymama · 05/02/2019 09:49

Get some rest!

PregnantSea · 05/02/2019 09:52

Netflix and rest x

Owlettele · 05/02/2019 09:52

In this instance OP rest and enjoy Netflix. He will be fine at nursery. I had a similar thing last week. I was so so poorly. Luckily my dad took my DC's to nursery for me and I slept,slept,slept! Pondered cleaning bathroom .....slept a bit more. Hope you feel better.

RebeccaCloud9 · 05/02/2019 09:53

Absolutely make the most of it. And don't feel guilty.

kindlyplay · 05/02/2019 09:53

I wouldn't put my child into nursery if they are not 100%. Sorry.

Iownabigvase · 05/02/2019 09:53

I'd do exactly what you've done and enjoy some peace and quiet whilst trying to recuperate. I understand you feeling guilty about it but there's no need to really, you need to look after yourself too. He'll be fine and will be having fun at nursery.
Not often you get a chance like this being a parent, it's brutal being unwell whilst looking after a toddler! Take it and enjoy Smile

Katy75 · 05/02/2019 09:54

I completely get this OP, and struggle with it myself, but it’s the right thing to do - you will be brighter and more rested when you see him later. Feel better soon x

Original poster
Sunday89 · 05/02/2019 09:58

Thanks everyone! I’m justifying it to myself that it’ll do him good playing with other kids and having a bit of distraction as he’s been stuck in the house quite a bit over the last week when he’s not been well. And I genuinely feel that the runny nose has been a constant thing over the winter, not sure if he’s been 100% well for ages - bring on the spring!

OP posts:
Drum2018 · 05/02/2019 09:59

Ditch the guilt. You're feeling rough, lie in front of the tv and rest yourself. Your Ds won't benefit from being at home with you today. It's a pity you are ill on your day off. If you had been feeling perfectly healthy this morning you'd still be entitled to send your Ds to nursery and have a day to yourself shopping if you wanted. I used to leave kids in crèche if I had a day off. It was a lovely treat and it's not as if they knew any different. Feet up now and relax!

Fancyacuppaluv · 05/02/2019 10:00

Definitely not being unreasonable! Enjoy your day x

TheGoogleMum · 05/02/2019 10:00

Enjoy the day of rest - it's wasting money to not use the already paid for nursery place :)

Drogosnextwife · 05/02/2019 10:02

Yeah if he's ill then I think you should go pick him up, unless you know you being ill trumps him being ill🙄. Good of you to take him to nursery to pass his illness on to the other kids and nursery works though.

kindlyplay · 05/02/2019 10:03

I'm shocked so many people would do this.

Original poster
Sunday89 · 05/02/2019 10:09

kindlyplay what are you shocked at? Putting him in nursery with the tail end of a cold? I am feeling bad about it but that’s where he picks up all the bugs in the first place! If I kept him off every day that he had a runny nose I’d probably lose my job...

OP posts:
Tinty · 05/02/2019 10:13

I might pick him up an hour earlier, but have a good rest and enjoy your netflix, you will be better sooner if you have a rest than running around after an active baby anyway.

avocuddl · 05/02/2019 10:13

I'm doing exactly this today! Dropped her off and got a latte and breakfast, home watched Netflix and just had a lovely long shower 🙌🏽 enjoy your day off op!!

Geminijes · 05/02/2019 10:13

Shocked at putting your son in nursery while you stay home watching Netflix and lounging around. Each to their own. Some mother's obviously like to palm their children off to have peace.

Faster · 05/02/2019 10:15

I’ve done this when I’ve felt ill before.
DS got a better level of care than I would have been able to give him, proper food, not just beans on toast, proper stimulation and rest, not just being plonked in front of the telly and home half heartedly playing with blocks.

Iownabigvase · 05/02/2019 10:17

He's probably not still ill/contagious though.
Whenever dd has had a cold she'll still have a runny nose and a cough that lasts for weeks after the initial bug has left.
I've had her up to the doctors once before because I was concerned about her cough not going after she had a cold and the gp said it just takes a while for it to totally clear up and she was fine. Doesn't mean she's still contagious and would pass a bug to anyone else.
Ops DS was poorly last week. The bug would have shifted by now.

malvinandhobbes · 05/02/2019 10:17

Surprised by the people that only use the nursery when their children are 100% well. I assume that you must not work? We keep LO home for major illness, but if we stayed home for every runny nose or tail end of the a cough we'd never get to work. The same is true for my older kids. They stay home from school when they are very unwell, but not for all minor ailments. Same for me too.

OP - enjoy the day. It isn't unreasonable at all. I know the guilt, but an opportunity to rest is important. My LO is 2.5 now and after two really tricky winters she seems to healthier this winter (knock on wood).

kindlyplay · 05/02/2019 10:18

what are you shocked at

Like i said, that so many would do this. Not sure what was difficult to understand.

kindlyplay · 05/02/2019 10:20

Surprised by the people that only use the nursery when their children are 100% well.

Are you? Why? If my DC was not 100% of course I would keep them home. OP is at home anyway.

I assume that you must not work?

Not relevant. The OP is NOT at work.

toomuchtooold · 05/02/2019 10:20

The nursery no doubt has a policy on illness and would send him home if he were too ill. Kids this age get everything and for a healthy child of nursery age the aim IMO should be to build up their immunity before they go to school, not to protect them from minor illnesses only for them to catch everything as soon as they're at school and responsible for their own hygiene Envy (not envy)

Enjoy your sleep!

malvinandhobbes · 05/02/2019 10:20

Also...always ignore the obvious guilt trips and virtue signalling of the martyred mothers. They are projecting their own issues.

JellycatElfie · 05/02/2019 10:20

Wow Shock

If I didn’t send my son to nursery every time he had a runny nose or cough he would never be there!!!! Seriously! And neither would any of the other kids?!

When they start school they can’t be kept off every time they have a cold?

If a child has a fever, can’t keep their eyes open or is really unwell then that’s different. A snuffly nose is no reason to be off nursery.

If the nursery thought he was too unwell to attend they’d have said so.

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