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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To put toddler in nursery when I have a days annual leave?

312 replies

Sunday89 · 05/02/2019 09:47

My 16 month goes to nursery 4 days per week and enjoys it. He was poorly last week and we ended up taking an extra day and a half off between me and DH to keep him off. He’s pretty much better now just a cough and runny nose but he’s passed his bugs onto me and I feel grotty Sad
I had a day booked off today to use up leave before I lose it and had thought about doing something fun together, but I feel really rough and had a terrible night sleep so I’ve ended up dropping him into nursery (as it’s all paid for anyway).
Now I’m feeling aaaallll the guilt about leaving him there when he’s not 100% better himself yet, and wondering about whether to pick him up after his lunch. But then the other side of me wants to enjoy my day off, do a bit of house tidying then lie on the sofa and watch Netflix Blush AIBU!!?? And what would you do...

OP posts:
Drogosnextwife · 05/02/2019 16:48

The two cannot be separated in the way you think they can. The OP is feeling really rough and has had very little sleep. If you are truly concerned about its comfort, you would be able to see that this is not a particularly great state for an adult to be in whilst looking after a child. Far better for the child to be looked after by adults who are not unwell.

Not sure what you mean by they can't be separated. The OP really isn't that unwell if she can manage to get ds ready, take him to nursery and get some cleaning done. Read between the lines, there's a reason she feels so guilty. Either ds in more under the weather than she is letting in or she is fine to look after ds.

Drogosnextwife · 05/02/2019 16:49

I have experience of parents saying their kids are feeling much better to justify sending them to childcare.

UnicornRainbowsRain · 05/02/2019 16:57

My small person is never really 100% well all winter. Unfortunately, I'm a teacher needs must. I do have to abandon them a bit when they are not well. They also go to nursery over the holidays too and sometimes I just Netflix and eat pizza all day. Not a fuck given. OP you are allowed a break and you need that to get better.

wishywashy6 · 05/02/2019 17:00

This is not about how OP is feeling it's about the comfort of her child and the fact is he has been sent back to nursery because OP in now feeling a bit under the weather and doesn't want to look after him so has shifted the responsibility to the someone else.

Sorry but 'comfort of her child' Hmm really?! Perhaps it's just me with robot warrior children but I cannot think of a single time either of them has been poorly enough to not be a mini creature of mass destruction and end up naked in the garden.

DontMakeMeShushYou · 05/02/2019 17:05

This is not about how OP is feeling it's about the comfort of her child and the fact is he has been sent back to nursery because OP in now feeling a bit under the weather and doesn't want to look after him so has shifted the responsibility to the someone else.

Let me rephrase that for you.

This is about how the OP is feeling and her concern about the comfort of her child. He has gone to nursery today because the OP is feeling poorly and wants him to be looked after properly, so she has done the responsible thing by ensuring both herself and her son have the care they need.

CloudPop · 05/02/2019 17:06

Blimey OP bet you wish you'd never asked 😆. Hope you had a good day and feel better soon.

Lauren83 · 05/02/2019 17:09

Some of the replies on here are funny! If nursery is paid for and he enjoys it then so he should go! My nursery wouldn't expect a child to be kept of with a runny nose either, he only goes once a week and loves going so I wouldn't keep him off unless he was too ill/contagious

UnicornRainbowsRain · 05/02/2019 17:09

"Comfort of her child"

Massively distracted from the tail end of a cold by being with many friends and different activities or being bored at home alone with a poorly mother who clearly feels the need to also catch up on her housework as that's probably gone to shit because she's been both ill herself and looking after her sick child. Get a grip.

RavenWings · 05/02/2019 17:13

I see the mummy martyrs are out in force today. Hope you feel better OP. I'm sure he had a good day - I'm a teacher, I'm well used to coping with kids who are a bit snuffly but not actually sick. He'll be grand.

Drogosnextwife · 05/02/2019 17:13

@wishywashy6

I read the post and that's what I took from it.

Drogosnextwife · 05/02/2019 17:16

Get a grip.

Hmm or the snowflakes who can't look after their children because they are feeling slightly poorly should get a grip.

likablum · 05/02/2019 17:22

Omg at some of the replies on here.

I'm a teacher but still had to pay for nursery during the school hols. One of my favourite things was when I kept them in nursery during the hols for a day when I was off. I miss it so much now that they are both at school.

Also what toddler/pre schooler does not have a permanent runny nose in Jan/Feb??

OneStepSideways · 05/02/2019 17:22

I often send mine to nursery when I'm on annual leave! Why wouldn't you? Every parent needs a break and the house to themselves sometimes.

Also you won't be much fun to play with if you're ill, he'd be bored and whiny. Enjoy it and don't feel guilty!

Bugsymalonemumof2 · 05/02/2019 17:25

I would send mine in in your scenario. Some of the previous posters have clearly lost their marbles.

And I 100% would not feel guilty for "palming" them off :D

JellycatElfie · 05/02/2019 17:25

Hmm or the snowflakes who can't look after their children because they are feeling slightly poorly should get a grip.

You’re being incredibly incredibly rude. The OP will be looking after her child outside of nursery hours. She took days off last week while her child was sick. Stop being so rude about her parenting.

Shazafied · 05/02/2019 17:25

I’d have no reservations about this if i was Sick and toddler was well -enjoy a days rest ! If toddler ill I’d feel a bit shit about it. X

Original poster
Sunday89 · 05/02/2019 17:28

Selfish mum signing back in Grin
He had a great day, ate three healthy meals and had a 2hr 40 min nap this afternoon. Meanwhile I did a bit of cleaning and am fully caught up on my Netflix watchlist. I was feeling guilty this morning but I genuinely think he’s had more fun today in nursery than he would have had with me at home. And I’m now feeling a bit better about the rest of the week to get through work rather than being more shattered after a day of toddler entertaining. So - maybe selfish but actually money well spent today I reckon.
He’s now running around trashing my tidy living room and scoffing banana with his runny nose so whilst he’s still not 100% I reckon we’re 90% there Wink

OP posts:
candlefloozy · 05/02/2019 17:29

If he was that poorly then nursery would call you. If you aren't feeling well yourself then you need to rest to keep your strength up for when he's home! Don't feel bad. Parents hardly ever get any rest or time to themselves. Hope you've had a nice day.

BlitheringIdiots · 05/02/2019 17:29

I always used to leave mine in nursery if I had a rare day off. Go for it! Do some chilling with coffee biscuits and Netflix

Drogosnextwife · 05/02/2019 17:40

Oh well good for you 😁

wishywashy6 · 05/02/2019 17:50

@Sunday89 glad you're feeling better

@Drogosnextwife perhaps a day off would do you good 🤔

Moominfan · 05/02/2019 17:54

I do this all the time Grin

cadburyegg · 05/02/2019 17:55

Oh ffs my DS1 who is nearly 4 has had the sniffles for about a month, he’s still been in his usual routine of groups and nursery. Shock horror i’m coming to the end of my second maternity leave and he’s still been going to nursery 2 days a week despite me not needing the childcare. It’s enabled me to sleep when DS2 sleeps, get some rest and have some quality 1:1 time with him that I wouldn’t have got otherwise. Nursery provides DS1 with things I can’t, Forest school, socialisation with lots of other children his age, preparation for school etc by qualified nursery teachers.

YANBU. Get some rest OP.

kindlyplay · 05/02/2019 18:41

So many people have said they would take their DC to nursery if they had the day off, but that's not even the question Confused

The question was whether OP should send her not quite fully recovered from their illness DC into nursery because they were feeling rough themselves and wanted to relax.

CostanzaG · 05/02/2019 18:43

And most people have taken that into account and said they still would. Toddlers have constant colds in winter and aren't harmed by attending nursery.