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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To put toddler in nursery when I have a days annual leave?

312 replies

Sunday89 · 05/02/2019 09:47

My 16 month goes to nursery 4 days per week and enjoys it. He was poorly last week and we ended up taking an extra day and a half off between me and DH to keep him off. He’s pretty much better now just a cough and runny nose but he’s passed his bugs onto me and I feel grotty Sad
I had a day booked off today to use up leave before I lose it and had thought about doing something fun together, but I feel really rough and had a terrible night sleep so I’ve ended up dropping him into nursery (as it’s all paid for anyway).
Now I’m feeling aaaallll the guilt about leaving him there when he’s not 100% better himself yet, and wondering about whether to pick him up after his lunch. But then the other side of me wants to enjoy my day off, do a bit of house tidying then lie on the sofa and watch Netflix Blush AIBU!!?? And what would you do...

OP posts:
kindlyplay · 05/02/2019 10:21

I'm doing exactly this today! Dropped her off and got a latte and breakfast, home watched Netflix and just had a lovely long shower

Why? Why does your latte take priority over an unwell child?

JellycatElfie · 05/02/2019 10:22

How is the child unwell?? Confused

kindlyplay · 05/02/2019 10:23

malvin

Are you playing Mumsnet bingo or something Confused

It's not projecting to suggest a child who has been ill and is still not 100% should stay at home fgs. It's common sense for most.

Camomila · 05/02/2019 10:23

I’ve always thought it was the sensible thing to do if they are just a little bit ill and you are more ill than them....as a PP has said they’ll get a healthier meal than beans on toast and better activities than CBeebies all day.
Plus my DS at least is always a bit antsy by the end of a bug and needs/wants to get out of the house.

kindlyplay · 05/02/2019 10:24

How is the child unwell??

OP said the child is not 100%

BeanTownNancy · 05/02/2019 10:24

Lol at the height of some of the horses on parade here. My son has a cough and a cold too - but he 100% picked it up at nursery because at least 3 of the kids had the exact same cough before his appeared. He was home with me Thursday-Sunday but has gone back to nursery now he doesn't have a fever. I've now got the cold and if I didn't feel well enough to come to work later this week, I'd drop him at nursery and go back to bed. It does my son no favours to have a sick mother who has no energy for him - he's better off at nursery with lots of activities and good food, and I'm better off resting and sipping my hot lemsip without my toddler spilling it all over me.

JellycatElfie · 05/02/2019 10:25

Kindly play do you work??

CostanzaG · 05/02/2019 10:25

Some mother's obviously like to palm their children off to have peace

Do you never have a break from your children Geminijes?
And what about dad's? Or is just mums that aren't allowed a break?

Get some rest OP and don't feel guilty at all!

DontMakeMeShushYou · 05/02/2019 10:25

Don't feel guilty. He's in a place where he feels safe and loved, where he has things to do and friends to play with, and where the staff will let you know if they feel he needs to go home. You should put your feet up and get some rest. Sacrificing your own well-being to keep your DS out of nursery when he is perfectly fit to go isn't going to help either of you, whatever the cat's-bum-brigade might think.

JellycatElfie · 05/02/2019 10:25

There’s a difference between ‘unwell’ and ‘not 100%’.

kindlyplay · 05/02/2019 10:25

Kindly play do you work??

Yes, I do. Not sure why work is relevant. OP is NOT at work today so it's not a consideration.

WorraLiberty · 05/02/2019 10:26

I wouldn't send a 16 month old baby out to nursery if they weren't feeling 100% well, unless I had no choice.

So it's a YABU from me.

ImMeantToBeWorking · 05/02/2019 10:26

@Geminijes it happens in every nursery in the country. Esp at Christmas I know of parents dropping their DC off while still in their PJs and going straight back home to bed. They have paid for nursery and their DC are going. These are nurserys that take kids from 7am to 7pm. Kids are dropped off in PJs with no breakfast, the staff feed and dress them and by the time they are collected they are back in PJs ready for bed, so that if they fall asleep on the drive home parents can lift them straight into bed.

OP is SICK and needs a rest, she should not feel guilty about it at all.

OP I do the same with my dog if I am sick. I walk him, feed him, and put him out the back as though I am going to work so I can sleep in peace. No DC yet so can't compare them! Enjoy your sleep and I hope you feel better later.

JellycatElfie · 05/02/2019 10:27

Work is relevant because like the rest of the population if children didn’t go to nursery (or school) every time they weren’t 100% or had a runny nose or cough, the majority of us would probably get the sack.

flamingofridays · 05/02/2019 10:27

Shocked at putting your son in nursery while you stay home watching Netflix and lounging around. Each to their own. Some mother's obviously like to palm their children off to have peace

oh don't be a twat!

JellycatElfie · 05/02/2019 10:28

Unless you’re suggesting the OP is ok to go to work if her child isn’t 100%, but not if she had a days holiday?

Original poster
Sunday89 · 05/02/2019 10:29

Thanks to most of you! And kindlyplay I’m guessing you’ve never needed a break from your toddler before - well done you!
Nursery is so much more fun for him than being stuck at home with me when I feel grotty and like I said he’s been stuck in the house a lot over the last week. And they would obviously call me if he’s actually poorly in which case I’m 5mins away to go and get him.

OP posts:
flamingofridays · 05/02/2019 10:30

not 100% isn't necessarily "too ill" to go to nursery. I haven't been 100% all winter, I still go to work. I wouldn't keep DS off nursery for a cold, unless it was bad and he had a temp etc. I don't know anyone who would!

TinyTear · 05/02/2019 10:30

not 100% - snotty or a cough
mine is the same.

Some of us work... and NEED the break

OP i also have 'use it or lose it ' days to take until the end of March - one will be with DH to go to the cinema, another unfortunately i now need the dentist but will get a hair cut in the afternoon

no guilt!

kindlyplay · 05/02/2019 10:30

Work is relevant because like the rest of the population if children didn’t go to nursery (or school) every time they weren’t 100% or had a runny nose or cough, the majority of us would probably get the sack.

It's not relevant IN THIS SITUATION. The OP is not at work. The OP asked a question regarding her present circumstances, which are that she is not at work. What she, i or anybody else do when a child is unwell any other day of the week is not relevant.

JellycatElfie · 05/02/2019 10:31

But of course it’s relevant.

Would the Op be ok to send her child to nursery not 100% if she had to go to work, then? Yes or no?

kindlyplay · 05/02/2019 10:31

And kindlyplay I’m guessing you’ve never needed a break from your toddler before - well done you!

You have got to be joking? Of course I have needed a break. You asked if YWBU today. My answer is yes.

CheesyWeez · 05/02/2019 10:32

YANBU. The first time I put DS in nursery I ran home, put my pjs on and slept all morning. I was so tired, and losing my mind. When you pick him up later you'll be so pleased to see him and have a nice evening together. Sometimes you really need to have some down time, whether you work FT, PT or don't do paid work.

kindlyplay · 05/02/2019 10:33

Unless you’re suggesting the OP is ok to go to work if her child isn’t 100%, but not if she had a days holiday?

Nope. Never said anything of the sort. What I said was that it doesn't matter in order to answer the OP. The question was about the circumstances TODAY.

kindlyplay · 05/02/2019 10:34

Would the Op be ok to send her child to nursery not 100% if she had to go to work, then? Yes or no?

Not relevant.

OP asked about today. OP gave today's circumstances. OP never said anything about work. I answered OP based on the Post they made.