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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Grown adults getting upset over Facebook isn't normal.

362 replies

FacebookFeud · 03/02/2019 13:54

I know I'm not being unreasonable, 99% sure of it, but I'm losing my mind over the incredulous nature of this. I'm dumbstruck that this is an issue and need advice.

I had a falling out with a relative on my husband's side. I shared a meme about enjoying solitude and liking my own company and they thought it was targeted at them, I explained that it wasn't but they weren't having it. I ignored their behaviour because honestly I was baffled that a grown adult would read that into someone's post let alone accuse them of it to their face.

I subsequently placed that person on restricted to avoid future arguments. I don't like Facebook drama, or this sort of drama in general and have no time for it, so I did this to ensure it wouldn't happen again.

They have found out I've done this and gone bazerk. Calling me childish, rude, that I'm picking on them, that I hate them.

I really hate this sort of thing. Short of deleting my entire profile, which I don't see why I should have to do, I don't know how to resolve this without that person being offended.

Were they not a relative of my husband's I'd tell them to sod off. I've never met adults like this!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
14
Dandelio · 03/02/2019 13:56

Can you post the meme so we can get an idea of how they could be offended?

Original poster
FacebookFeud · 03/02/2019 13:57

This meme. Apparently it's because I'd recently declined an invitation.

Grown adults getting upset over Facebook isn't normal.
OP posts:
yearinyearout · 03/02/2019 14:02

Well as much as I think you’re being reasonable generally, if you posted that just after they’d invited you to a party I can kind of see why they’d think it was connected! I don’t like drama on fb either, I have family members who get upset if i haven’t “liked” their photos or done a fb happy birthday (even when they’ve had a card/gift) but I’m not a fan of passive aggressive memes either.

Bezalelle · 03/02/2019 14:02

TBH, posting "memes" on FB is just as juvenile/petty.

ZoeWashburne · 03/02/2019 14:03

This is so ridiculous. Honestly, I would deactivate my facebook account.

Frankly, facebook has really jumped the shark- it just seems like people 30+ sharing baby and quotes about prosecco.

missyB1 · 03/02/2019 14:05

Hmmmm... normally I’d agree with you totally. But I must say that meme coming on top of a recently declined invitation does come across as a bit rude.
It’s not very dignified of them to rant about it though. I may well have taken your post as a snub but would not have referred to it in any way.

FigandVanilla · 03/02/2019 14:05

YANBU, any adult who thinks that it would be in any way reasonable to take the hump about that post clearly never left the playground. Your relative clearly actively enjoys drama and therefore creates it where there is none.

There is nothing you can do - it’s her issue, not yours! I think you just have to ignore it as some other pathetic intrigue will replace this soon.

I hate this kind of shit. Some adults never manage to actually grow up when it comes to social media!

Darkstar4855 · 03/02/2019 14:06

YANBU. They are being ridiculous. I would politely tell them that you are unfriending them and then ignore any further dramatics.

gottastopeatingchocolate · 03/02/2019 14:06

I shared a meme about enjoying solitude and liking my own company and they thought it was targeted at them
TBH if you had posted that meme after declining an invitation from me, I would think it was connected. I wouldn't have reacted as your relative did, but I'd be hurt.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 03/02/2019 14:06

I think put them back on full access (and apologise for that - just to smooth things over).

But if they kick off again about something you've posted, suggest to them they either hide or delete you since they don't like what you post.

I don't think you can win this one, as they are determined to be offended.

I always say the first rule of Facebook is that only you are doing it correctly and everyone else is wrong... Wink

AGHHHH · 03/02/2019 14:06

I wouldn't say memes are juvenile/petty. especially not a plain text one that anyone can relate to. It's just a caption.

But that caption is very different to your nicer "I enjoy my own solitude" description in the OP. I can see why they may have taken it personally given you'd just declined an invite, but their reaction is way over the top.

So I guess YANBU.

PatchworkElmer · 03/02/2019 14:07

Errrrr, that meme isn’t about liking your own company. It’s about declining invites from a specific group of people you know. If you’d recently declined an invite from me, I’d be a bit paranoid too!

raviolidreaming · 03/02/2019 14:07

It's a bit of a stretch to say that meme is about 'enjoying solitude and liking my own company' - the tone of it is fairly abrasive. So, if you declined their invitation in recent days, then you may be being unreasonable. I'm guessing there's a back story between you all though? Things seem to have escalated fairly quickly on both sides.

Racecardriver · 03/02/2019 14:09

YANBU but adults get ott upset over all kinds of things. Some people are just a bit ridiculous. I can see why you declined the invitation.

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 03/02/2019 14:09

I was totally with you until I saw the actual meme. I can completely see why they thought it was aimed at them now- you declined an invite to their party and then posted about not liking large groups. It does seem a bit of coincidence. I do agree that grown adults shouldn't be airing their dirty laundry on Facebook or falling out over it though so if I was your relative I would have just let it go and not mentioned it.

Enta · 03/02/2019 14:09

Aw I'd have been a little hurt with that context, OP.

But their reaction was a little over-dramatic.

Still, I'd want to apologise and smooth things over, I hate any bad feeling. Good luck!

Onlyjoinedforthisthread · 03/02/2019 14:10

Why did you post it? Do you normally post memes

That meme does not say you like your own company and solitude.

On what you have posted and given that you post is likely to be biased to yourself you both seem childish, but I can see why they've taken offence if you posted it after declining an invite, it comes across as judgemental.

I'd have blocked you ages ago as I hate memes.

VenusClapTrap · 03/02/2019 14:11

I agree that meme is pretty passive aggressive.

FigandVanilla · 03/02/2019 14:11

People like those on this thread are the reason I don’t have Facebook! Don’t you exhaust yourselves with the constant paranoid intrigue?!

caughtinanet · 03/02/2019 14:12

How long between declining the invite and posting the meme?

I think it's a pretty rubbish statement, it's not even a meme really is it, I can also see how someone might think it was directed at them if the two events happened close together in time

PatchworkElmer · 03/02/2019 14:13

FigandVanilla no, I don’t.

MereDintofPandiculation · 03/02/2019 14:17

Frankly, facebook has really jumped the shark- it just seems like people 30+ sharing baby and quotes about prosecco. I can understand that doing nothing but sharing baby and quotes about prosecco is not particularly interesting, but are you saying nothing can be any good if it attracts only the over 30s?

Home77 · 03/02/2019 14:19

Why did you feel the need to post that? it doesn't say, as you mentioned, about enjoying solitude etc. Why did you not post one like that and less of one which might cause a reaction?

Original poster
FacebookFeud · 03/02/2019 14:20

For context I post memes like that all the time. These are also from my profile. My entire profile is funny (in my opinion) pictures and left wing politics.

These were posted before the meme they took offence to.

Grown adults getting upset over Facebook isn't normal.
Grown adults getting upset over Facebook isn't normal.
Grown adults getting upset over Facebook isn't normal.
OP posts:
RelaisBlu · 03/02/2019 14:20

What is a meme? All I can see is one sentence?