Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Grown adults getting upset over Facebook isn't normal.

362 replies

FacebookFeud · 03/02/2019 13:54

I know I'm not being unreasonable, 99% sure of it, but I'm losing my mind over the incredulous nature of this. I'm dumbstruck that this is an issue and need advice.

I had a falling out with a relative on my husband's side. I shared a meme about enjoying solitude and liking my own company and they thought it was targeted at them, I explained that it wasn't but they weren't having it. I ignored their behaviour because honestly I was baffled that a grown adult would read that into someone's post let alone accuse them of it to their face.

I subsequently placed that person on restricted to avoid future arguments. I don't like Facebook drama, or this sort of drama in general and have no time for it, so I did this to ensure it wouldn't happen again.

They have found out I've done this and gone bazerk. Calling me childish, rude, that I'm picking on them, that I hate them.

I really hate this sort of thing. Short of deleting my entire profile, which I don't see why I should have to do, I don't know how to resolve this without that person being offended.

Were they not a relative of my husband's I'd tell them to sod off. I've never met adults like this!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
14
Gettingbackonmyfeet · 03/02/2019 14:44

I'm amazed honestly , do grown up rational adults actually give a shit about what's posted on Facebook?

Teenagers ...yep I get it ...just like my mum didn't understand why it mattered who was invited to town on a lunchtime I recognise social media being relevant to teen social dynamics

But adults? Seriously? Considering it as relevant to social niceties?

Now granted I've nothing on my profile and use Facebook to follow a couple of beauty groups and slow cooker groups so haven't posted anything

But frankly if I did and someone with apparently hours of free time to agonize over this rubbish took offence id be somewhat relieved they had shown me their true colours or possibly touch base to see why they were struggling so much with their mental health that they thought this was relevant

It just boggles my mind that there are presumably grown women responding here saying they have the actual time and headspace to consider it rude?

Reading and posting on social media fair enough it's a great tool and interesting but giving it headspace outside of that and being offended surely people can see that's not healthy ? I mean how small does your world have to be for this crap to actually offend you?
(Disclaimer I exclude those house bound or with isolated situation because that is entirely different )

newnameforthis7 · 03/02/2019 14:46

YABU. Of COURSE they think it's aimed at them, and no wonder!

@FacebookFeud

For context I post memes like that all the time. These are also from my profile. My entire profile is funny (in my opinion) pictures and left wing politics.

Yeah ^ I would definitely unfriend you based on that!

Original poster
FacebookFeud · 03/02/2019 14:46

I'm amazed honestly , do grown up rational adults actually give a shit about what's posted on Facebook?

So am I, it seems so petty. Agree with your entire post that's how I see it too.

OP posts:
HoraceCope · 03/02/2019 14:46

but people wont know if they have been restricted.

i would unregistered for a while.
see how they like that!

Original poster
FacebookFeud · 03/02/2019 14:49

They know because a mutual friend mentioned a post I'd made and they couldn't see it.

new And that's fine. We all like different things I wouldn't be offended.

OP posts:
CuriousaboutSamphire · 03/02/2019 14:49

I'd block/unfriend them and let your DH - who got you into this stupid position in the first place - deal with any fall out!

If he hadn't been so lily livered he would never have asked you to include her(/)

If you hadn't been so lily livered you would have refused.

So now the very thing that you were unaware of that he was so afriad of has come to pass - because he tried to fix something before it was broke!

Sod 'em all and post whatever meme tickles your funny bone!

Floomph · 03/02/2019 14:49

I think a lot of people struggle socially or have anxieties about their friendships. It's very easy to say it shouldn't bother people but it clearly does at times. It's a shame, as you say to get that caught up in it all, but equally just because you individually can't understand it, Gettingbackonmyfeet doesn't mean to say it isn't important for others. Some people are struggling so much that the stupidest things push them over the edge. And of course some people are massive drama llamas too and could do with learning to calm down and switch their computers off.

DameSquashalot · 03/02/2019 14:50

I can see why the relative made the connection but I think the reaction seems over the top. It was just down to bad timing.

PerverseConverse · 03/02/2019 14:51

Your Facebook memes scream attention seeking juvenile. Facebook is toxic due to this kind of crap being posted. I didn't have any family on my friends list and in the end I stopped using Facebook completely. Leave it for the teenage drama llamas.

sonjadog · 03/02/2019 14:51

Block her now. Tell her you aren't on facebook any more. If she discovers that you still are from someone else, deny it. She's going to take offense no matter what so you may as well make the most out of it.

HoraceCope · 03/02/2019 14:52

Even the actual teenagers dont use facebook anymore.

Original poster
FacebookFeud · 03/02/2019 14:52

How is it attention seeking when it's posted on my very private profile with few people on it?

OP posts:
MacarenaFerreiro · 03/02/2019 14:52

To be fair, posting passive aggressive memes is just as bad.

Stick to pictures of cats, the weather or things you've done on a day out. Most of us manage to be on social media without causing drama, or getting caught up in other people's.

Onlyjoinedforthisthread · 03/02/2019 14:53

A couple of days, I can see why they thought it was aimed at them.

WhenLifeGivesYouLemonsx · 03/02/2019 14:53

I don't have Facebook. For that very reason! People are too melodramatic

CuriousaboutSamphire · 03/02/2019 14:54

How pleasant of you perverse OP may be juvenile (aka has a different sense of humour) but you are actively nasty (aka judgemental as fuck). Why?

Which is worse? Unintentional offense due to sense of humour differences or deliberatley offending to make a point?

PositivelyPERF · 03/02/2019 14:54

Honestly, I think your were making a dig at your husband’s relative and you’re just whining because they called you out on it.

Raffleeight · 03/02/2019 14:55

Even though you were not aiming it at them it very much reads like it was aimed at them and is pretty insensitive of you. Maybe just chalk this up to a learning experience and before you post one of your many memes in future think about whether it would hurt someone?

Original poster
FacebookFeud · 03/02/2019 14:55

I wasn't making a dig at anyone.

OP posts:
Parthenope · 03/02/2019 14:56

I agree that it's weird grown adults get so upset about FB.

But that includes you too OP.

Absolutely to whoever said this. I'm not on FB, but from what I gather it's best considered a way of vaguely keeping tabs on major life events of distant friends who live on the other side of the world that you're not quite bothered enough about to stay in touch properly with.

The way it comes up here sometimes sounds more like 1950s pinny-clad neighbourly bosom-hoiking: 'That Elsie down at number 20 didn't put her bins out till gone eight this morning, the slattern.'

PerverseConverse · 03/02/2019 14:58

Passive aggressive "funny" memes are attention seeking and juvenile imo. It's easy to see why your relative took offence as it does seem aimed at them and lots of previous posters have said the same.

Parthenope · 03/02/2019 14:58

I wasn't making a dig at anyone.

But surely you can see that it's an available reading of what you posted, in the circumstances?

Original poster
FacebookFeud · 03/02/2019 14:59

I don't want to have to spend my time thinking "oh I wonder if this will offend anyone" before sharing something. I just want my own private profile where I can share my thoughts, a few photos, what makes me laugh. I don't want to have to moderate myself on my own private profile. I post for myself more than anything as a sort of virtual record of bits and bobs.

OP posts:
Lovemusic33 · 03/02/2019 15:00

I think if it was posted after a party invite then I would be a little bit annoyed too, it’s fine if you don’t want to go to a party but why post a meme about it? You gave him a reason which was fine but posting a meme just comes across as attention seeking or rubbing peoples faces in the fact that your not sociable.

Memes can be funny but they can also be taken the wrong way (or the right way).

My 14 year old posts memes and sends me them everyday but I don’t know many adults that feel the need to post memes all the time making jokes about people being unsociable 🤣

Original poster
FacebookFeud · 03/02/2019 15:00

But surely you can see that it's an available reading of what you posted, in the circumstances?

Sort of but again I wouldn't expect adults to have the time or inclination to obsess over someone's Facebook post.

OP posts: