To think this is low! And to feel hurt/confused

[Whatthe1]

So I have made a new (ish) friend (known for about 9months or so. We got on really well and it DC do too (met in school). Anyway we are currently planning on building a house and it’s all very exciting for us. We met up on Friday eve and she asked how plans were going. I told her and conversation led on. She got to the point of asking me which bank we were getting our mortgage from as lending here at the moment is difficult. I said we weren’t as we were hoping to self fund. She asked how?? I said that we had profit from our last house and some investments we were going to cash in. She then outwardly REFUSED to believe it!! Stating that at our age she couldn’t see how it was possible esp as we had two DC. I didn’t know how to respond so I just said, oh look it’s not important let’s talk about something else. The rest of the visit was ok but she was a little “off”

Anyway today I got the following message
Whatthe,
I have been In turmoil since Friday, I can’t understand why you would lie to my face about finances the way you did. I feel like either way I can’t continue being friends. If you are lying like I BELIEVE you are or whether you actually have THAT kind of money. I didn’t think you were one of those ‘money is no object people’ so unfortunately I can’t be around that. Sorry I really enjoy your company and you are a great new friend but this just doesn’t sit with me’

I haven’t responded as I am I shock I think! What the hell?? Do you think I should call or just leave her be? I AM DUMBFOUNDED 😮

She is a weird fuck with a chip on her shoulder. Sorry op but friendship is about laughing, being there for each other and a mutual appreciation for each other's company. Not money. She isn't the person you thought she was sadly.

What a cow she is!

How much money does she think you need to build a house?

She's weird. And more than a little bit jealous. Your finances are none of her business, just drop her.

And the more I read this the more angry I am for you. SHE has been in turmoil? Turmoil - really? How are your finances any of her business?

I don't have any good suggestions about how to reply but the gist should be that she has been the one to show her true colours and you are well rid.

Does she think you’re a secret millionaire who’s been pretending you are down trodden. Maybe it’s jealousy? Nowt as queer as folk x

“Dear friend, I absolutely agree that we can no longer be friends. Real friends are happy for each other and not so obviously jealous and cruel. Calling me a liar to my face was just fucking rude and I am happy to leave the contact at that. P.s my fininaces are none of your fucking business! “

Turmoil =incandescent with envy.

How weird; I’d stay away from her to be honest. I wouldn’t want to be friends with someone who either believed I was lying (particularly over something entirely believable) or who would be so judgemental about you having some money to do what you want to do.
I suspect jealousy is underlying it or a big chip on her shoulder about anyone having money

Send her a laughing face.
Totally agree .

She sounds jealous and bitter. Better find out now than deal with a frenemy gaslighting you about it.

I would just respond with "You were asking me very personal questions about my finances and I answered truthfully. I did not brag, lie, or rub anything in anyone's face. Never once did I say that money was no object. You have completely projected that onto me. Your arbitrary rules about finances and friends says more about you than it does about me. I have nothing to apologise for. I enjoyed your friendship as well, but if you are going to be so judgemental towards me, as if this is any sign of my character, then I guess you were never a true friend to begin with. As I have always done, I wish you the very best."

I would be thankful she showed her true colours. She was never your friend. Judgement about money is an ugly look no matter who it is directed towards.

She's an absolute lunatic.

Block her and move on.

Da fuck?

She's Batshit.

I think I'd leave her be - or ssimply reply "noted" so she knows you have read it.
Sorry about that for you and DC - sad way to lose what you thought was a friend.

Excellent response by @ZoeWashburne - I would use that!

"I have no reason to lie, and you have absolutely no reason to be 'dumbfounded' Goodbye".

She's an absolute fucking loon!

Be grateful you found out relatively quickly and move on without a backward glance.

‘Dear friend,
Completely agree we cannot be friendsc, my finances are of no concern of yours. You asked me a question and I answered you honestly the fact that you believe me to be lying and are in turmoil at my situation is your issue not mine. Calling me a lying and then sending me the text that you have is rude in the extreme. I think it’s best for the both of us to step away from the friendship we had, you are not the person I thought you were’

I’d text ‘YOU can BELIEVE what you want - I can’t be friends with someone who accuses me of lying over something that isn’t any of their business. YOUR loss’

I like Zoe's response, if you decide to bother replying...

Be glad you've only wasted a few months on this friendship.

You don't need to justify or prove anythng to her, I wouldn't even respond.

She doesn't owe you money or anything does she?

I wouldn't respond as she will want one and it will annoy her to get no reaction. She is just very jealous of the idea of you being mortgage free.

That's appalling! What a nutcase she is.

I would say “I’m sorry to hear my financial situation makes you so uncomfortable with hindsight I should have shut the conversation down when you started prying but I didn’t realise you had a hidden motive for asking. I agree this friendship probably doesn’t have a future as I will always worry about what I can say around you. Take care, no hard feelings”