To think this is low! And to feel hurt/confused

[Whatthe1]

So I have made a new (ish) friend (known for about 9months or so. We got on really well and it DC do too (met in school). Anyway we are currently planning on building a house and it’s all very exciting for us. We met up on Friday eve and she asked how plans were going. I told her and conversation led on. She got to the point of asking me which bank we were getting our mortgage from as lending here at the moment is difficult. I said we weren’t as we were hoping to self fund. She asked how?? I said that we had profit from our last house and some investments we were going to cash in. She then outwardly REFUSED to believe it!! Stating that at our age she couldn’t see how it was possible esp as we had two DC. I didn’t know how to respond so I just said, oh look it’s not important let’s talk about something else. The rest of the visit was ok but she was a little “off”

Anyway today I got the following message
Whatthe,
I have been In turmoil since Friday, I can’t understand why you would lie to my face about finances the way you did. I feel like either way I can’t continue being friends. If you are lying like I BELIEVE you are or whether you actually have THAT kind of money. I didn’t think you were one of those ‘money is no object people’ so unfortunately I can’t be around that. Sorry I really enjoy your company and you are a great new friend but this just doesn’t sit with me’

I haven’t responded as I am I shock I think! What the hell?? Do you think I should call or just leave her be? I AM DUMBFOUNDED 😮

Possibly one of the maddest things I’ve ever read on here. What a strange woman.

what - that must have been a real blow when you thought you had found a friend & been very hurtful but FWIW I would do the same as you & not invest any more energy into this situation. Sadly you will never change how this person thinks & the only real option is to change your reaction to it & be glad that you found out relatively early on.

I agree with pp that ‘friend’ has a chip on her shoulder about money.

I think that's best OP. No way should you give her any kind of explanation.

Absolutely ignore. A bonkers message like that does not deserve a reply. I wouldn't worry too much about what she tells other people, I think she will sound bonkers to them too, but replying might give her ammunition.

I do feel quite sorry for her though. I remember that feeling of gut-churning envy myself, although I hope that I never let it show like she has.

Yeah just leave it. Whatever her deal is, it's obvious that the friendship isn't what you thought it was. I wouldn't say she is being 'low', just really odd!

@MynameisJune I’m 34 😢

I think you’ve been wise not to respond. You can’t reason with that kind of crazy. The only response I might be tempted to send is just to clarify that you’re not lying.

Unbelievable. Zoe's suggested response is excellent.

Bloody hell. What a loon! I think you've had a lucky escape as this type of batshittery would have come out sooner or later.

It is, of course, wise to not respond.

However, I couldn't NOT 😂

Has to be on the bonkers ends for ending a friendship. I would also be grateful the friendship had been relatively short. And definitely rent a Lamborghini for the school run 😂😂

This cannot end here
I think you'll find it can. I'd go with blocking. What a weirdo.

Definitely wisest not to respond but oh, the temptation to text back asking if she wanted salt & vinegar for the chip on her shoulder.

I would have responded but given that your DC are friends with hers, it might be kinder to them to just leave it.

She sounds very jealous and odd. Asking you who your lender was is also odd. It just rang alarm bells for me as I know someone who wrote to a "friends" lender alerting them to certain inconsistencies in their "friends" application which resulted in a withdrawal of the mortgage offer. Jealousy causes people to do strange and awful things.

Not responding is the only sensible course of action.

I'd probably also go for just behaving as friendly as normal whenever I bump into her and let her wonder if you ever got her message.

I bow to your superior self-restraint in not replying. Must be one of the sterling qualities that got you into your enviable financial position! Enjoy planning and building your new home.

If the conversation went exactly as you describe, then she's totally batshit.

Just respond with a breezy “Righto”

Then maybe a picture of a jellyfish.

She sounds jealous. Just ignore her. Best off without her kind of friendship.

Ha ha, she sounds nuts.

Lucky escape and good luck with the house build!

Turmoil? That must be why you didn't see the chips on both her shoulders, all that turmoil span them off!

Enjoy your house. If you were my friend I too would have a jealous moment (who honestly wouldn't), but would be proud/happy for you top!

Maybe have a Grand Opening, send her a gold embossed invitation

She's way overinvested in your business, prying, envious and batshit crazy. Drop her, ignore and think about how you didn't realise she's such a weirdo before.

Mad as a hatter. Best decision you made is not to respond. In fact I'd just block her if you are friends on social media so she cannot see anything about your life.

Invite her to your house warming.

@egg sandwich

She's probably been watching too many Grand Designs. They always say they can do it within budget but end up mortgaged to the hilt and in debt to their in-laws, and pregnant. Maybe you're just not at that stage yet OP.