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Original poster

To think this is low! And to feel hurt/confused

398 replies

Whatthe1 · 03/02/2019 12:10

So I have made a new (ish) friend (known for about 9months or so. We got on really well and it DC do too (met in school). Anyway we are currently planning on building a house and it’s all very exciting for us. We met up on Friday eve and she asked how plans were going. I told her and conversation led on. She got to the point of asking me which bank we were getting our mortgage from as lending here at the moment is difficult. I said we weren’t as we were hoping to self fund. She asked how?? I said that we had profit from our last house and some investments we were going to cash in. She then outwardly REFUSED to believe it!! Stating that at our age she couldn’t see how it was possible esp as we had two DC. I didn’t know how to respond so I just said, oh look it’s not important let’s talk about something else. The rest of the visit was ok but she was a little “off”

Anyway today I got the following message
Whatthe,
I have been In turmoil since Friday, I can’t understand why you would lie to my face about finances the way you did. I feel like either way I can’t continue being friends. If you are lying like I BELIEVE you are or whether you actually have THAT kind of money. I didn’t think you were one of those ‘money is no object people’ so unfortunately I can’t be around that. Sorry I really enjoy your company and you are a great new friend but this just doesn’t sit with me’

I haven’t responded as I am I shock I think! What the hell?? Do you think I should call or just leave her be? I AM DUMBFOUNDED 😮

OP posts:
YourSarcasmIsDripping · 03/02/2019 14:19

I'd just reply with "you're right" and let her wonder(in turmoil?!?) which part she's right about.

caughtinanet · 03/02/2019 14:19

Actually I don't think she's been low, she might be a bit bonkers but she's told you how up front she feels, its no reflection on you, I don't see a reason to be hurt or confused, she's entitled to her opinion and at least she hasn't ghosted you and left you wondering if you did something wrong or offended her in some way.

The friendship obvioulsy won't survive but at least you know exactly why, chalk her up to being a bit of an oddball and don't waste your headspace on her.

MumW · 03/02/2019 14:20

Well, as they say, nowt so queer as folks!

sackrifice · 03/02/2019 14:21

'thanks for the info' should do it.

Chocoholic26 · 03/02/2019 14:24

Urgh, how annoying. I have a friend who is similar, unfortunately not with my wealth but with my parents. She once visited me at my parents self build home and has since had a jealous comment about it ever since. E.g says I can just quit my work whenever I want as my parents can afford to keep me Hmm or have you seen Chocoholics26 parents house, it’s from cribs or you can afford it eh, eh (wink/elbow nudge). My parents brought me up to work hard for my money (have a good career) and certainly haven’t had everything given to us on a plate. We recently have built a small extension to our house. I haven’t told her how we financed it (equity from our house) but I just know she thinks it was my parents who gave us the money. She keeps making references to ‘how nice’ it would be to be able to afford it etc and how she must catch up with me to ask questions as she wants to do similar. We then got married and it got even worse! We had a cash bar and the comments from her were just crazy! Tells everyone who wants to listen (four years on) and it’s really quite embarrassing...especially as my parents are comfortable but certainly not rolling in it. So bizarre and as a result I just don’t tell her anything anymore....all over a visit to my parents not mine! You’re better off without her. Enjoy your build Smile

InsomniacAnonymous · 03/02/2019 14:24

Surely replying "You're right" will just make her think you're admitting you lied.

RhubarbaraWindsor · 03/02/2019 14:26

I don't see a reason to be hurt or confused, she's entitled to her opinion so if a 'friend' calls you a bare faced liar when you have been completely honest, you wouldn't feel hurt by that?

username10001 · 03/02/2019 14:27

Obviously very jealous of you .
Horrible trait I'd be tempted to reply that and then block her .

DarlingNikita · 03/02/2019 14:32

She's a fruit loop.

Are you likely to bump into her at any point? Just wondering how she'd act if you did. But anyway, I'd ignore the message. Might not block her though as I'd be intrigued to see if she felt moved to send a follow-up...

Bluntness100 · 03/02/2019 14:32

I don't see a reason to be hurt or confused

You must have very thick skin, most people would be hurt and offended to be called a liar.

Aeroflotgirl · 03/02/2019 14:36

Wow what a weird oneshe is, she sounds very jealous of you. Money obviously extremely important to her, more than friendships. I would definitely let her go, she is not a friend, being jealous and accusing you of lying.

Hugglessnuggles · 03/02/2019 14:37

Weird!

I rent in a housing association house because that’s how my life with many unforeseen circumstances happening happened 🤷🏻‍♀️ Sod’s law.

However I have many friends who own
homes, have buil their own homes etc. But they all had different circumstances- very good jobs, bought their first home cheaply than made a profit, inheritance, parents are millionaires and so on.

I would NEVER doubt where my friends money come from. I would NEVER ask where it came from, what I know is what they’ve volunteered.

She just sounds like a very green eyed monster!

Good luck on your build!

Oddcat · 03/02/2019 14:53

You could get some mileage out of this if you felt like stirring the pot ( I'm joking of course )

Dear Loon Friend

I'm so sorry that I have caused you so much turmoil , I know a very good therapist to help you . He only charges £5,000 an hour , which I think is a bargain, especially as I'm a 'money is no object ' kind of person.

Dvg · 03/02/2019 14:55

I actually find this all very amusing :D i moved a few months ago with my partner and a newborn and refurnished with new appliances (fridge,freezer, washing machine and sofa) i got people not believing how i did it on benefits... i just ate super cheap food and had no luxuries for a couple of months and shopped in sales.. wasn't that hard but people made out like i had a secret job or something :D

luckylavender · 03/02/2019 14:55

Annoyed on your behalf. She shouldn't have asked you all those questions in the first place.

Butterflycookie · 03/02/2019 14:56

That woman must be crazy. I would definitely respond to her message. I wouldn’t let her get away with her talking crap Blush

Gina2012 · 03/02/2019 14:56

Surely replying "You're right" will just make her think you're admitting you lied.

  1. She thinks that anyway
  2. You can't change other people's minds if they don't want their minds changed
  3. Who gives a thruppeny bit what that fruit loop thinks?
Myimaginarycathasfleas · 03/02/2019 14:59

“Not sure drunk texting is a great idea. It makes you sound like a twat. Hope you don’t regret this when you sober up. X”

Original poster
Whatthe1 · 03/02/2019 15:02

@DarlingNikita every day at school 😩

OP posts:
Nodnol · 03/02/2019 15:04

Send her this 🤮🤑 or.

To think this is low! And to feel hurt/confused
DarlingNikita · 03/02/2019 15:10

every day at school 😩

Well, it'll be interesting to see how she handles it!

Stompythedinosaur · 03/02/2019 15:12

Shocking behaviour from her.

I think I'd have to reply and say "I am very offended by your oncoming accusations of lying. Probably best we leave things here."

Original poster
Whatthe1 · 03/02/2019 15:21

So I responded as I didn’t want her to think I was avoiding the accusation, I said;

X friend, sorry you feel that way, I am not the type of person to lie about things like that and I think you know that. I think your text is out of order if I’m being honest. Again sorry you feel the way you feel and yes in that case I don’t see how we can continue to be friends after this. Whatthe

No reply yet 🙄

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 03/02/2019 15:25

Good text op, well done.

Aeroflotgirl · 03/02/2019 15:25

Well done, that's it. Just be polite to her if you bump into her, just talk to other parents and don't stand bear her on pick up.