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AIBU?

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Original poster

to just buy myself an eternity ring?

225 replies

changers5 · 02/02/2019 22:20

I told DP I wanted one after DS was born. Not asking him to buy one but hinted. Then hinted at my birthday - he even asked for my ring size. Got chocolates instead. Just had our anniversary (the day we met - we don't want to get married so celebrate this instead). He forgot.

I told him a few weeks ago that I would love one and he just smiled. I honestly thought he was getting me one.

Our son is 2 months old. Should I just buy myself one? Or is that pathetic?

I've never had a thoughtful gift from DP so not sure why I think I'm getting one now...

OP posts:
Purplecatshopaholic · 03/02/2019 10:07

My Ex bought me an eternity ring a few years ago. He subsequently cheated and left. Buy what you want Honey and call it what you like!

bistrotea · 03/02/2019 10:11

Err yes she can, she can do and call it what she likes

See I'm struggling with this mentality.

I suppose OP can buy a ring and call it an eternity ring, yes. But it won't hold the significance that an eternity ring holds, mostly because it won't be an eternity ring, it will be a ring they bought for themselves.

Do you not see that? Anyone could buy an engagement ring for themselves and call it that, but it would make them engaged.

Anyone could buy themselves a birthday present from their partner, but if they bought it because the partner didn't, then it's not a present from their partner it's just something they bought themselves.

Togertiger · 03/02/2019 10:13

But it won't hold the significance that an eternity ring holds, mostly because it won't be an eternity ring, it will be a ring they bought for themselves.

😂😂😂😂

expatmigrant · 03/02/2019 10:14

Married 33 years and two DC. Feels like an eternity.
Think I may need to have a word with my DH Grin
TBF though, I have never even thought about getting an eternity ring. DH, as lovely and generous as he is, wouldn't even think about going out to buy me one. If I hanker after something, he will just say ''go and get what you want".

Deadmansdrop · 03/02/2019 10:21

I think some posters on this thread ( the ones living in the 1950s) ought to get an “eternity” ring through their nose so they can be led along by their husbands to the kitchen to rattle those pots and pans 😂

People, you are arguing about a social construct that doesn’t exist! This isn’t about the shackled ones gloating, this is about their insecurities. A thin band of metal is all that separates them in their eyes from anyone else with a relationship. They are desperate to keep that piece of metal to themselves!

bistrotea · 03/02/2019 10:21

Toger

I'm not sure what you are laughing at?

irnbruforlife · 03/02/2019 10:22

Just get it yourself. That way you'll get the one you want. Dp is shit at buying gifts, he has plenty redeeming features but gift buying is not one of them. So I buy myself gifts that I want from him. All our money is joint so it makes no difference financially who physically buys it. I'm considering buying myself an eternity ring for our 15th anniversary later this year. I've told dp that's what I want, but it'll be me who organises it. I prefer it that way.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 03/02/2019 10:23

I have a selection from QVC (Diamonique)
Unfortunately the high price of gold has made them reduce from 14k (it's originally from USA where 14k is more popular) to 9k gold.

I have a couple of sterling silver pave set bands that are very similar to the Tiffany ones.

I.m wearing one at the moment that I bought when I was pg with DD (she's now 16) to cheer myself up after a car accident , and that I wore when my wedding ring was too tight in late pg. (Channel set 9 stones in 14k gold)

I look up the prices of diamonds on sites like Tiffany and tell my DH how much money I saved him
(one is a dupe for Etoile , one for Soleste)

He would never in a million years have bought them off his own back, but meh .

Togertiger · 03/02/2019 10:23

People, you are arguing about a social construct that doesn’t exist! This isn’t about the shackled ones gloating, this is about their insecurities. A thin band of metal is all that separates them in their eyes from anyone else with a relationship. They are desperate to keep that piece of metal to themselves!

This ^

SweetSummerchild · 03/02/2019 10:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VWpurse · 03/02/2019 10:27

Sweetsummerchild I think you took a wrong turn 😂

popcornwizard · 03/02/2019 10:28

Well £850m would buy and AMAZING ring ...

JeremyCorbynsBeard · 03/02/2019 10:29

What a weird idea - that an eternity ring is about the love for your child.

At best it's a token of your never-ending love for each other, at worst a cynical ploy by jewellers to sell more rings.

Load of old nonsense. If he doesn't want to buy you a ring then he doesn't. It will mean bugger all if you buy it. Except to show your undying love for yourself maybe.

Honeyroar · 03/02/2019 10:29

An eternity ring has nothing to do with being married, there's a clue in the title, eternity! It symbolises eternal love. Yes a lot of husbands buy them when their wives give birth, but it's not exclusive to married people.

I think you've dropped enough hints at him. He knows you want a ring. At this point I I'd just buy something lovely as a symbol/memento of your child's birth yourself. I wonder if he thinks that giving you a ring, particularly if you wear it on your left hand, would be seen as a proposal to people and that's what he's dragging his feet about? I think that a ring on your "wedding finger" would just confuse everyone, I'd wear it on another hand if I were you.

Emc23 · 03/02/2019 10:30

I don’t understand why the partner has to buy it when op wants it as a reminder of her baby when she’s at work? It’s not connected to the relationship. I always kept a bib in my bag when I returned after mat leave as a reminder.

VWpurse · 03/02/2019 10:30

Lol@popcornwizard

bistrotea · 03/02/2019 10:32

don’t understand why the partner has to buy it when op wants it as a reminder of her baby when she’s at work? It’s not connected to the relationship.

So therefore not an eternity ring, but simply a ring.

Togertiger · 03/02/2019 10:33

I think that a ring on your "wedding finger" would just confuse everyone, I'd wear it on another hand if I were you.

😂😂😂😂

I’m loving this thread. Classics!
Pray tell us why people would be confused by a ring worn on a finger?! Why is it any of anyone’s business and why would they even notice?! And if they did notice and asked what it was, how confused would they actually be if the op said “oh it’s my new eternity ring”.

Deadmansdrop · 03/02/2019 10:33

So therefore not an eternity ring, but simply a ring

Hahahhahahhahaha!

emilybrontescorsett · 03/02/2019 10:34

I'm still struggling to see how this relationship will stand the test of time when you cannot say to him what you would like as a gift.
I don't understand all this passiveness.
Just tell him what you want or buy yourself some jewellery.
If course I think what the op really wants is a thoughtful caring partner who shows appreciation for her. Her oh is not that person.

popcornwizard · 03/02/2019 10:35

Go as a family to choose and buy the ring - you'll get exactly what you want, he buys it.

It isn't the ring, it's the major life upheaval of realising that you're two months in to a completely new way of living. All of yours balls have been thrown into the air and you need to learn a new way of juggling. You'll still need to juggle, with or without the ring.

Has his life changed? Does he appreciate just how much yours has?

bistrotea · 03/02/2019 10:35

dead

I don't get why you are laughing.

If a woman buys herself a ring to remind her of her baby when she is at work it really isn't an eternity ring. It's a ring. What is funny about that?

costacoffeecup · 03/02/2019 10:37

I bought myself a ring with my daughter's birthstone in it and wore it when I went back to work to remind me of her. Is that an option?

deadmansdrop · 03/02/2019 10:40

bistrotea

eternity ring
noun
noun: eternity ring; plural noun: eternity rings

a ring given as a symbol of lasting affection, typically set with an unbroken circle of gems.

IdblowJonSnow · 03/02/2019 10:41

Haven't read the full thread, just page 1 but seems obvious that the issue is he's thoughtless and selfish ring or no ring. Presents are obviously a big deal to you op and he's either not understanding that or can't be bothered. Is he good in other ways? I still don't have a wedding ring and got married many moons ago! I am bothered but he's mainly good in other ways. Got a choc orange when I gave birth!

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