to just buy myself an eternity ring?

[changers5]

I told DP I wanted one after DS was born. Not asking him to buy one but hinted. Then hinted at my birthday - he even asked for my ring size. Got chocolates instead. Just had our anniversary (the day we met - we don't want to get married so celebrate this instead). He forgot.

I told him a few weeks ago that I would love one and he just smiled. I honestly thought he was getting me one.

Our son is 2 months old. Should I just buy myself one? Or is that pathetic?

I've never had a thoughtful gift from DP so not sure why I think I'm getting one now...

Get what you like.
Sad thing is that what you want is him to want to buy it for you.
My dh bought me a silver and diamond ring for our 10th anniversary cos it was all we could afford. A lovely diamond ring a few years later and then an eternity type ring for our 25
th.

Totally understand you op. I too do not want to get married as I am the higher wage earner and when I got divorced 6 years ago had the nasty shock of the ex trying to get maintenance for life. My view is now fuck that.

But I too would like an eternity ring tomato that we are serious about each other. I wouldn’t buy one myself though as it’s supposed to mean something and would there not be a little regret every time you look at it that he didn’t get it for you?

I think talk to him about it and should nothing happen before then get rings for you both and ask him tobe your partner for life with an eternity ring come the next leap year.

A PP suggested a piece of jewellery with your baby's birthstone - this seems a good choice as you say you want something to wear once back at work and away from the baby

I guess I just feel completely worthless

Don't let you sense of self-worth rely on trinkets

Yes, you should buy one OP. I bought a pink one because I just liked it and I wear it every day.
DH is thoughtful in other ways but not on the jewellery front. I’ve never had to say that I bought it for myself but I would merrily admit to it if asked. I also bought myself a bracelet after every baby as a ‘well done me’. Who cares what it means to other people!?

I am not into jewellery or what it symbolises. Didn't even have a wedding/engagement ring when I was married. Never knew that an eternity ring has a certain meaning and is only 'meaningful' if you get it from DP

If you like the look of it, just get it. Sod all this 'meaning'. It's a ring, a piece of metal, an accessory. If you like one, get one. Done.

“Sometimes husbands / partners / blokes are just a bit shit when it comes to presents / hints.”
Yep. They don’t see dirt either. Or understand about dressing children appropriately. Or realise that people need to eat at dinner time, or that dirty clothes go in laundry baskets then washing machines rather than magically transitioning from dirty on the floor to clean in the drawer.

FFS-stop enabling this crap!!!!

I'm married OP and bought myself a beautiful eternity ring after I had my son. My husband was reluctant to buy one as he reckons it should have been for a significant anniversary (we were married about 18mbts or so) but was not refusing & was planning to get me one for Christmas. I said plainly & clearly that I wanted one though.

In the end, I found one that perfectly matches my other rings & went for it. I love it & think absolutely nothing of having bought it for myself.

Eternity rings are naff

An eternity ring is about an adult relationship (traditionally a marriage), just set your phone wallpaper to a picture of DC so you have him with you at work. There's no connection been a ring and your baby. If you want a new ring buy yourself one but unless it's given by your partner it's not an eternity ring

SMH at the “it’s gift from a husband to a wife”. Could it be a gift from a wife to a wife do you think?! Or husband to husband? How about a couple who have been together for 50 years but never married? Is there a length of time you backward looking people deem it necessary to be married before your husband is allowed to purchase this particular piece of jewellery? Do you have to show your wedding certificate in the shop to be allowed to purchase one? What if the wife works but the husband doesn’t? Where does he get the money from?

I’ve read it all on Mumsnet now! Some people are so fogeyish 😂

Eternity rings were invented by De Beers in the 1960s to get rid of a surplus of diamond chips.

“...but unless it's given by your partner it's not an eternity ring”
😂😂😂😂😂😂

So not very “traditional”!

OP was asking about buying the ring for herself though. So while it might be a nice ring, there isn't much 'eternity' ring about it. It would just be a ring. It would be a ring that signified her DP didn't buy her a ring.

You can't just pop a ring on yourself and call it an eternity ring, because yes, and eternity ring is given

Hi @changers5 hope you are feeling a bit better today, how about instead of asking DP for an eternity ring have a chat with him about getting you a nice piece of jewellery from DS? There are some lovely necklaces you can get with DC initials... or if its a ring you want ask him to get you a ring from DS, he's your partner its not rude to ask. I got a charm for my pandora bracelet when we found out DD was a girl and I told my DH he had to get it for me 😁

What the OP wants is a push present but doesn't want to call it that as they're often seen as tacky/American. Go buy yourself the jewellery you want.

bistrotea it’s an erroneous concept thought up and attributed by humans and attached to a bit of metal. The op can call it what she likes. What do you mean there wouldnt be much “eternity” about it 😂.

People are mad lol!

Marriage has nothing to do with this. It's literally never been an issue in my life. I don't want to get married. Not does DP. End of...

Don’t worry about it op, some people just like to judge. FWIW I never wanted to get married, I hated the whole idea of being given away and changing my name.
Worked out well for me in the end.

Perhaps the married old fogeys should call theirs a “shackled ring” and everyone else can call it an “eternity ring” to signify anything they want to last for ever?

To think, a man should be thoughtful!!! Gasp.

I'd forget about his birthdays, OP, but still bring your little boy up to be a thoughtful man. Stop the rot, in other words.

You can't just pop a ring on yourself and call it an eternity ring, because yes, and eternity ring is given
Err yes she can, she can do and call it what she likes

OP I know exactly how you feel. Other people's partners treat them golden and buy them beautiful gifts...or do they?
Depending on many factors such as upbringing personality type people show their love in various different ways. Read love languages and you will understand a bit better what I mean. However it could be that your partner is just self centred and doesn't love you- that's for you to know and work out.
The fact you are catastrophising this issue so much and putting such an emphasis on the fact it must mean your partner doesn't love you is highly indicative of the way you are feeling in yourself right now. Please have a frank discussion with your hv or gp. Honestly one Christmas getting a thoughtless present when I was a low ebb was the straw that broke the camels back. If I had been feeling well in myself I'd have laughed it off. But still we had a frank conversation about our expectations and how we both see gift giving as a way of showing love- and our ideas are very different, not right or wrong just different

I’m not sure why having a ring on your left hand would make you think of your baby when you’re at work? I’d go for a necklace with their handprint on, or a locket or a photo frame.

An eternity ring denotes an intention or commitment. If your partner hasn’t bought it for you, it’s like buying your own engagement ring when your partner hasn’t asked you to marry him.

If you want a ring, buy yourself a ring-but don’t pretend it’s an eternity ring he’s bought you.

If you want him to buy you one-serioulsy talk him about how important it is to you that he shows he is fully committed to you.

Sorry about the essay also forgot to add never rely on anyone else to make you feel good about yourself- treat yourself as L'Oréal said-because you're worth it

I wear a ring that I bought myself. My ds was with me when I bought it. The ring always makes me think of ds. Buy the ring yourself op so you have a nice ring for going back to work:)