After school detention - AIBU to say no

[Florasnotin]

DD and DS missed the school bus this morning. Completely my fault, I took their phones from them last night and forgot to set the alarm. They caught the public bus and were 15 mins late.

They've both been given an after school detention on Monday.

AIBU to say no. Punishment doesn't really fit the crime and it wasn't even their fault. I've always stood by the school when it comes to discipline but this seems overly harsh

I would say no in this case, but explain to the school.

Tbh I think this is one they should accept the punishment ( assuming secondary)

They were late . I don’t think who is to blame is relevant.

I don’t see how it doesn’t fit were late extra time?

They were late - they do the detention.

And buy them an alarm clock

I’d say no.

So who collects them after detention?
The only people this sort of discipline affects is the parents who have to leave work early and run around.
Lunchtime detention should be sufficient for this.
But please call the school to explain.

My son was late last year because I literally couldn’t get out the house, new baby was breastfeeding and then pood.

School said if I didn’t want him to do the detention I was welcome to pull him out.

They should do the detention. It may seem unfair, but life isnt fair is it?

If the rule is: being late = detention, then they need to do it.

Mine never did after school detentions. If they did anything wrong it had to be at lunch or break time.
No way would I allow it after school, they can't enforce it if they have somewhere they need to be.
Mine had something on most nights and I wasn't prepared to make them miss it. They were usually well behaved but occasionally a whole class detention would be set and I just don't agree to those.

Why don't they have alarm clocks. Shouldn't have phones in their rooms anyway. DD is in year 7, I work she has to get herself to school. I make it her responsibility to get up, ready and out on time. Why are we pandering to kids this age, if they where late let them do the detention and work out how to avoid it next time.

Unless your rural and no bus service I'm always surprised on high school kids depending on parents to sort them out. When exactly will they learn some independence and responsibility.

Of course they should go to the detention. School rules is to be on time. Indeed it impacts on attendance records for school records as a whole.

Why do you even think that just because there is an excuse for why they are late it should therefore negate the rules in any way?

You should get them good old fashioned alarm clocks.

I think YABU. They broke the rules, they got detention.

They have a mile walk to their school bus and the public bus runs twice an hour.

I don't agree with punitive punishment no. They don't have phones in their rooms hence 'i removed their phones and I forgot to set the alarm'

If I was pandering to them I would have driven them to school!

Being disciplined should be about teaching you a lesson. What is this going to teach them? Make sure your mum doesn't forget to set the alarm?

When did it become a thing that a parent could refuse a detention?

When I was at school if the school thought fit to punish the child then that's what they did.

The school rules regarding detentions/timekeeping would have been made clear when they joined the school.

If I'm late for work the reason is irrelevant and the time has to be made up. May as well get them used to the real world.

You don’t have the right to refuse that they do the detention. The school would be within their rights to escalate the sanction if they missed it on your say-so.

Legally, schools can issue detentions and don’t need the consent of parents, even on Saturday mornings. Generally schools issue notice of detention, so that different arrangements can be mad if necessary.

The school must have a policy on sanctions and presumably followed it in terms of lateness. When you choose to send your child to a particular school, you agree to the procedures there. Refusing to allow sanctions is saying that you don’t care about the rules you signed up to. If they have after school activities, they should make sure they don’t do things that may have an impact on their attendance.

I agree that whole class detentions are a bad idea and most schools would concur.

The children were late. Whatever the sanction is for lateness, they must accept. If the school bus is late, it’s a different matter, but the bus ran and they didn’t catch it.

I wouldn't refuse it.
What are you teaching the dc's? Have a decent enough excuse and get out of it.
They should just take it on the chin and do it.

What is this going to teach them? Make sure your mum doesn't forget to set the alarm?

No. It teaches them to set the alarm before Mum removes the phone.

The school has the right to enforce the detention : your consent isn't necessary.

I'd suggest getting alarm clocks for their rooms which they should be responsible for managing.

Being disciplined should be about teaching you a lesson.

Indeed, but it is also about consistency and fairness.- that is why school policies will be the same for all students.

YWNBU to phone the school, explain the situation, and ask them to waive the detention.

You have no legal or moral right to tell them to do so.

Either way, next time they are late- drive them.

Why don't they have their own alarms?
I get why you don't want them doing the detention but I don't understand why it's your responsibility to wake up them up in the morning.

No legal or moral right to say they can't be held against my wishes....I'd argue that with you!

It isn't my responsibility, i'm usually at work by the time they leave the house.

DD has successfully managed to get herself to school on time for 4 years. DS 2 years. I wasn't working today and forgot the alarm. The alarm is set in the hallway between their rooms to stop them rolling over and turning it off.