To not want to have stepchild for weekend after baby is born

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I'm probably going to sound like a wicked step mother here but need to know if I am being unreasonable to not want to have SS for the weekend straight after my baby is born. I am due to be induced on a Thursday and all going well I should be home with baby by the weekend. We normally have SS that weekend but I have asked DH if it's possible to have SS during the day so he can meet his brother but not over night. DH seemed confused at my request but said his priority will be me and baby. I just want some time for just us without DH having to look after 3 people. Am I being selfish ?

Not being selfish.

What you do if DS was your child?

I think YABU but I do understand why you feel the way you do. However DSS is DH's child and he can't just send him away because he has a new baby - imagine how DSS will feel?

What if your step child was your own older child, what would you do then?

Sorry you cant just dump one child because another is coming along. Surly your DH is more than capable of looking after his son and his wife+newborn at the same time. That's what most families do.

^I agree

No, you can’t push out SS because you’ve had a baby. Plenty of people cope with a newborn and an older kid

Yep yabu. Your step child is a massive part of your family and should be there.

I'm afraid you are being a but selfish. Surely your SS needs to be involved.

YABVVVVU.

OP I get you just want time with you and your baby but you’re a step mum, you cannot push SS out.

Yes yabu - would you send a older sibling away for the weekend

If you have another child after this one will you send it away so you get time with your new baby???

Well you clearly are being selfish.., I think your question is reallyifYABU to be selfish in these circumstances.
If you are happy to have SS during the day,I'm not really sure why overnight is a big deal tbh? How old is SS? He may well feel pushed out.

I understand how you feel but you chose to have a baby with someone who already has a child, already has a commitment to that child. It would immediately send the message to your SS that he is second class and not as important.

It's clear you don't see ss as a true son to you otherwise you wouldn't send him away. I'm sure you wouldn't send your own son to his grandparents would you?

So yes yabu. But I understand how you feel as I'm sure I'd have similar feelings too. However you chose a man with a child so the s the breaks I'm afraid

Nah can't do that!!! You wouldn't do it if step child was your child. No wonder he was confused.

For what it's worth also think of it this way would you pap due baby out if you had another?? Unlikely.

Yabu. Dss can't be put down and picked up like that.

Your husband focus should always be on BOTH his children and his wife.

Is it your first?

If so, chances are you won't be home for the weekend

How old is SS?

As long as your DH is dealing with SS, I think it's fine that he comes as normal and is included. In fact I think it's quite important you keep things as normal as possible.

You need a contingency though. Inductions aren't always quick

You’re being unreasonable. Don’t make your husband choose between you and his first child .

Sorry but YABU. If you exclude your Ss you are confirming the view that he is not a ' proper' part of your family. I feel sorry for him. Please don't exclude him.

Yes. I think you are. It sounds like the 1st of many excuses to come. I'm not surprised your DH was confused.

Sending away SS shouldn’t be an option. I understand though that you want as much support for you and new baby at this crucial time. Is there anyway you can draft in parents/parents in law to entertain SS and/or assist you? SS will need lots of attention himself and I appreciate you will be focussing on the baby.

Yabvu, you will really make your SS feel pushed out. What would you do if you had an older child already?

Sorry but i agree with most on this. You cannot push DSS out even if thats not your intention that is how he will see it.

Ysbu sorry and serving up a great recipe for jealousy and resentment