AIBU to be upset/angry at older man complaining about children in restaurant.

[Wakingwillow]

Just that really. This is my first post but I've been a long time fan of AIBU. We're visiting the UK for a family event.
We're a family of 6, four kids age 11, 9 and 15 mth twins. Staying in a chain family friendly hotel for the weekend. Extended family here also.
After activities today everyone was tired so we decided to have a group family meal in the hotel restaurant. Total 7 children and 8 adults. 5 of the older children (age 8 to 11) sat at a table together next to us. All were very well behaved stayed seated, coloured pages and chatted. The twins sat with adults and made usual toddler noises but nothing too disruptive imo. We had items to keep them entertained and also took them out to lobby area several times.
We arrived at 6pm but due to under staffing there was a delay taking orders and getting food to the table. Kids were served food about 7.20 pm. Adults at 8 ish. (That needs another thread 😐)
After the toddlers had eaten my husband and I took them upstairs cleaned them up, got their pj's on then went back down with them to eat our own meal.
Just as we started eating an older man came over to our table and said that we had ruined his and his wifes night with all our noise.
I really didn't know what to say. I felt an array of emotions, embarrased, upset and finally annoyed/angry. We apologised for the toddlers being disruptive, explained there had been a long delay in them getting food and said we were doing our best to keep them occupied. I also asked him what else could we do, they had to eat to which he responded they should be feed in the room.
I'm so surprised and upset by this. I've never had this happen before and I'm usually very considerate of other diners when we're out as I'm quite shy and don't like to draw attention.
This has really upset me.
I'm just wondering what others have done / would have done in this situation.

Told him to take his food up to his room and eat there if it was bothering him so much.

What would I have done? Told him to go fuck himself in his room.

What fridge said

Sorry you had to suffer the miserable man though

Fridgefull I had thought that but it was too late so I never got to say it

The twins sat with adults and made usual toddler noises but nothing too disruptive imo.

This probably meant they were screaming the place down. Lots of parents seem to be immune to the noise their children make.

If you were in a family friendly restaurant, he should have expected there to be children with some associated noise. He could have eaten elsewhere. It was for the restaurant to tell you you were being too noisy, not himz

Ignore him and move on. It's pretty harsh complaining about a family having a family meal in a family-friendly hotel. If it was 9pm on a Saturday night at a 4* Michelin restaurant filled with couples maybe he would have a point.

Saying that, I know a lot of people who see having a meal in a airport/hotel restaurant as a special start to their holiday so perhaps they had different expectations.

How "old" was the man? Possibly this stems from attitudes in his younger days when children were not welcome in adult restaurants. We are late fifties and never took our children out anywhere to eat in the UK. Other than Pizza Hut, or one very nice local Chinese Restaurant on a Sunday afternoon, which made it clear they welcomed children at that time of day and had high chairs for little ones. There were few places to take kids then and we avoided burger chains by choice. Pubs were no-go areas for families at that time. We live in the rural North, so it may have been very different elsewhere. Even up here things have changed a lot nowadays.

You were staying in the hotel and had paid to be there. If the hotel did not prohibit children in the restaurant, then you were within your rights to use the facilities. I guess they took your money quite happily and if they did not like families you would have stayed somewhere that did.

AIBU to be upset/angry at older man complaining about children in restaurant?

Depends on what the children were doing.

Usual toddler noise to one parent is uncontrolled screeching to another.

He could be a grumpy old man or you could be unreasonable in your description of the children.

I think some people are just desperate for kids to make noise so they can complain. When they don’t, they complain anyway.

We live in close proximity, alongside each other. There is going to be some noise in public places. That’s life.

No offence- I wouldn’t have wanted to sit near you guys. I’m in a similar hotel chain tonight for work. But I would have made sure I either ate when a massive group of children were not or requested to move.

Purpledaisies I'd never tolerate them screaming the place down I would leave and have done from places before when they have been too noisy but thanks for your feedback

Thing is with these questions - there is a perception as to how 'disturbing' you were being and how 'family friendly' this restaurant is, etc etc.
None of us know.

I would be focusing my ire on the restaurant tbh - it clearly isn't family friendly if a family sitting down at 6 don't get their food until 7.20.... and then it seems, some of the party not until 8. I'd have left the restaurant by choice I think.

Smackthepony no offence taken. I would be like you. If I go out for a nice meal I also wouldn't want to be seated by a bunch of children but in saying that I would go to a higher quality restaurant to avoid such a situation.

Sometimes no one’s in the wrong. This is one of these unfortunate occasions.

‘Noisy’ is entirely subjective. He feels you were too noisy. That’s his opinion and he’s perfectly entitled to it. You don’t think they were, that’s your opinion which you’re also entitled to.

I have a hard time imagining that that number of children waiting so long to be fed were quite as quiet as you’d like to think. Instead of getting defensive, think about whether you could do things differently next time. If they were genuinely well-behaved and quiet then that’s fine, forget about him.

I can only claim on expenses if I eat here though 😂

But I’d never come over and make you feel shit about it if i’d been disturbed by a big table of kids just making general kid-noise- that’s awful. I’d be more likely to order a large wine and take my food to my room.

I'm estimating the man was in his seventies.

They were under staffed and doing their best. If it wasnt for the kids we would have gone else where.

It seems like you did all the right things, like keeping the toddlers entertained and taking them out for a walk.

And you say that they were making toddler noises and not screaming the place the down...but I have known some toddlers who make the most persistent noises over and over again, like the same humming sound over and over. Do they do something like this that you're just immune to?

That many children, especially waiting so long to be fed, aren’t going to be quiet as much as you think they were.

At the end of the day, he’s not wrong; it’s subjective. You were too noisy for him.

Wakingwillow

Men now in their seventies often lived in a child free world after they left home for work. Just remember that younger working men and women are now the ones paying for their pensions, smile sweetly and ignore!

Ignore.
From your description the children weren't a nightmare.
Food delay not your issue and you handled it.
The man may ave had food delay and displacing frusyration on you.
He may have found a table of 15 nearby too much. But it's his issue. It's a family restaurant.

Don't worry about it anymore.

After the toddlers had eaten my husband

giggle

Thanks for the replies I'm not feeling so shit now. Don't get me wrong I'm under no illusions that I have the meekest children but I really didn't think they were that bad. I've know them to be and I've left places because of it.
Also the older kids were brined with the promise of desserts for good behaviour.