AIBU to be upset/angry at older man complaining about children in restaurant.

[Wakingwillow]

Just that really. This is my first post but I've been a long time fan of AIBU. We're visiting the UK for a family event.
We're a family of 6, four kids age 11, 9 and 15 mth twins. Staying in a chain family friendly hotel for the weekend. Extended family here also.
After activities today everyone was tired so we decided to have a group family meal in the hotel restaurant. Total 7 children and 8 adults. 5 of the older children (age 8 to 11) sat at a table together next to us. All were very well behaved stayed seated, coloured pages and chatted. The twins sat with adults and made usual toddler noises but nothing too disruptive imo. We had items to keep them entertained and also took them out to lobby area several times.
We arrived at 6pm but due to under staffing there was a delay taking orders and getting food to the table. Kids were served food about 7.20 pm. Adults at 8 ish. (That needs another thread 😐)
After the toddlers had eaten my husband and I took them upstairs cleaned them up, got their pj's on then went back down with them to eat our own meal.
Just as we started eating an older man came over to our table and said that we had ruined his and his wifes night with all our noise.
I really didn't know what to say. I felt an array of emotions, embarrased, upset and finally annoyed/angry. We apologised for the toddlers being disruptive, explained there had been a long delay in them getting food and said we were doing our best to keep them occupied. I also asked him what else could we do, they had to eat to which he responded they should be feed in the room.
I'm so surprised and upset by this. I've never had this happen before and I'm usually very considerate of other diners when we're out as I'm quite shy and don't like to draw attention.
This has really upset me.
I'm just wondering what others have done / would have done in this situation.

Regardless of whether of not this gentleman was justified in is complaint, this thread has opened a good debate about children in restaurants.

My personal opinion is that it boils down to this: Certain standards of behaviour are expected in restaurants, typically:

• Moderate your language and the volume of your voice as not to disturb those around you
• Remain seated during your meal except for toilet breaks and, if it's a pub-type place, to goto the bar
• Don't use noisy devices at your table (in an ideal world, there should be no phones etc. at a dinner table under any circumstances).

That's about it, it's hardly Mastermind.

Now comes the crux of it. Some children struggle (possibly through no fault of their own, they are children) to adhere to these rules. Which, again in my opinion, leaves two options:

• Parents take whatever action is necessary to make their children adhere to these rules and/or minimise disruption to those around them

OR

• You don't take your children to restaurants until they are 'au fait' with sitting at a table and eating dinner correctly (to be practised at home).

I can't see (although I'm sure some will and I'm looking forward to the responses) that anyone can argue with this.

I genuinely believe that there are very few people who still believe that children should be 'seen and not heard'. However, the number of those intolerant to children grows in relation to the (small number) of entitled parents who don't believe that basic manners and courtesy apply to them and their children.

Having read your last post op, the man sounds like a miserable git - the classic labelling a woman as aggressive for seeing to disagree with him.

*daring to disagree with him!

PBo83 I'm not quite sure what point you are trying to make as the OP made it clear that a) the children were not noisy or unable to sit quietly b) There were no noisy devices - the OP clearly says the devices had their sound switched off c) the only people moving from the table were the parents who moved to change their children and distract them due to the unreasonable wait due to the understaffing at the restaurant.

You say parents should Parents take whatever action is necessary to make their children adhere to these rules and/or minimise disruption to those around them' and they did. They took the young ones upstairs. Oh but this fall foul of your rule about people never moving apart from going to the toilet. You appear to not take into account the restaurant taking an unreasonable time to serve food. The fact is that the whole problem is due to the restaurant being understaffed. The OP's family were absolutely appropriate in their attempts to accommodate this fact, doing exactly what you suggest. You can't see this, can you.

Villanellenovella I totally agree. Calling the OP an 'aggressive woman' when she was not being aggressive but was merely stating her piece tells us all we need to know about this 'man'. A dinosaur with outdated entitled views that women should be quiet and children should not dare to breathe in his presence. In fact this one thing we know about him tells us all we need to know about the entire scenario.

@Villanellenovella

I opened with "Regardless of whether of not this gentleman was justified in is complaint, this thread has opened a good debate about children in restaurants."

Because I think it's an interesting debate/conversation. I believe that it's important that those visiting a restaurant with/without children can be in the same room without aggravation on either side...surely that's the aim?

I never said that OP was in the wrong. I also never said the guy was in the wrong as he's not here to give his version of events.