to think pamper parties for primary school children is not appropriate

[dancinginthehall]

I don't want to de-rail another thread, so thought I'd start a new one. My 9 year old niece has been invited to a couple of these recently and doesn't particularly enjoy them. Her parents aren't particularly keen either.

AIBU to wonder why young girls can't just remain children for a while and not have these grown up style events pushed on them? Surely at 9 party games or bowling or a trip to the cinema is more appropriate than having their make up and nails done?

My daughter would love this
I love makeup and all beauty things and my daughter sees me getting glammed up and wants to join in too, there's no harm in it at all?

Of course there is harm in it.

YANBU.

Depends what it is really.

A few kids mucking about with nail polish and lip gloss and boys being allowed to do it too fine.

Full on clown face make up and focus on "looking pretty" then no.

All those products on kids skin can't be good either.

But surely there's more imaginative or age appropriate things parents could organise? Even jumping around on a bouncy castle is healthier than sitting around having your lips painted and your eyes done up, and probably more fun for the majority of the girls.

YANBU. Ugh.

Some girls like that sort of thing. Some don't. Demonizing traditionally "girly" girls isn't any better than demonizing less girly girls.

What is the harm from children painting their nails? My DG used to do my makeup and dress me as a little princess and take silly photos that I've still got now and it was so much fun, it's not like I was going clubbing I was a child playing dress up? Off all the things in the world to worry about

My DD is 11 and hates those parties. I also hate her being asked to them as I agree they're just not appropriate. DD agrees to have her nails done but politely declines the make up option. She'd far prefer to be at a bowling alley or taken to a film or to McDonalds.

@anitagreen
I love getting glammed up but I don’t think girls of nine should be encouraged to focus on looking pretty we don’t do this to little boys.

I agree op.

It usually involves hiring in people to do treatments, not just a bit of DIY nail varnish.

My Ds loves playing with my makeup brushes too it's just kids having fun isn't it? Most makeup these days if you buy the right brand can be good for skin I don't think it's as war paintish as it used to be either so I don't see the harm their for skin either

anita there's a big difference between your granny rubbing a bit of lipstick onto your cheeks and letting you dress up in one of her old dresses, and a full on party where the entire focus is on proper make up and having your nails done.

I agee. I find the idea that a group of 8 or 9 year old girls cant think of anything more fun to do really sad.

I have sons, so copious experience of small boys and they dont seem to become even vaguely interested in their looks til 12/13. Girls do mature earlier so I can understand an 11 year old getting into make up etc but all the unrelenting pressure on younger girls to look nice is grim.

Not a party but my Brownies asked for a pamper evening, we did a cleanse and tone using natural products, Yog, oats vinegar, water etc, Cucumber on eyes whilst listening to chill out music, water with fruit in it and the majority enjoyed it.

Think it depends on definition of "pamper"

and probably more fun for the majority of the girls

Ever thought the party may be for the benefit of the birthday child who might really like that sort of thing and find it fun?

My DD went to one a couple of years ago. They got to play with a load of make up, had a blast, went home. I can't get worked up about it.

Has your ds had a lot of pamper parties anita?

YANBU. If you want to let your own 9 year old put on make up and nail polish then go ahead but I’d prefer you not to invite my 9 yr old to do it.

Does anyone else have a deep loathing of the word "pamper"?

There's something about this word that makes me want to claw my own throat out.

Just to add, the place had an absolute tonne of dressing up clothes and a photo booth too.

It was a really sweet party. I've got an amazing pic of DD dressed up as a cat with makeup to match - lovely!

I don’t see a massive issue at 9. It’s a party - it’s not full face of make up daily!

I'm not keen at all. DD has been to couple of fairly innocuous ones though, nothing major and no make up.

We did something similar at home but punked it up. The girls sprayed each other's hair luminous colours and rainbow painted each other's nails before setting off mento rockets in the garden. I felt we kept a nice balance.

My daughter had one and all her friends attended. Luckily no such judgment here and everyone said they had a great time. A boy attended too. Nothing wrong with looking after yourself.

My DD recently went to a party with a pamper set up and a bouncy castle. They got their nails painted, some glittery face paint and then played on the bouncy castle. Shes 7 and had an absolute ball, and neither I nor her friends parents are 'chavvy or vapid.'