to think pamper parties for primary school children is not appropriate

[dancinginthehall]

I don't want to de-rail another thread, so thought I'd start a new one. My 9 year old niece has been invited to a couple of these recently and doesn't particularly enjoy them. Her parents aren't particularly keen either.

AIBU to wonder why young girls can't just remain children for a while and not have these grown up style events pushed on them? Surely at 9 party games or bowling or a trip to the cinema is more appropriate than having their make up and nails done?

Bruffin

In the OP original post.

Surely at 9 party games or bowling or a trip to the cinema is more appropriate than having their make up and nails done?

So having Make up and Nails done, not just a bit of hair plaiting and nail varnish.

I think it's being trivialised as one-off, harmless fun. There's a difference between a bit of nail varnish in an age appropriate, curious way to a party where the whole theme is around 'pampering'. How does this 'conditioning' arise then? It's fairly creepy and reminds me of those beauty pageant events.

Beauty pageants are different though surely? It's often a way of life for the family and child (I'm not at all comfortable with this) where every waking moment is obsessed with the pageant.

My DD has been to a couple of these parties. It's not her thing particularly but she enjoys it. Then comes home and plays with her Star Wars figures.

My dd4 would love this. I would have no issues with her being invited to a pamper party. At the moment she's asking for the zoo and McDonald's for her upcoming birthday but if she asked for a pamper party I would definitely do it. We got our nails done together before Christmas and she absolutely loved it, and no op I'm not 'chavvy'

It reminds me of the beauty pageant children in the moment, with excessive make up plastered all over their faces. Amongst my friends I don't know anyone who is in to 'pampering'. Most of us in the 6th form didn't wear make up. That's why I asked 'how' this 'conditioning' looks if it is not via things like 'pamper parties'. Wearing a bit of mascara because I am an adult and spending hours on a make up routine every day are completely different things. It's like 'retail therapy', it's self indulgent and is not an answer to your problems.

Tinty
Op hasnt got a child that has been to these parties

No but I have a niece who has and it wasn't just glitter nail polish and a chocolate fountain. It was make up and foot spas and full on manicures

Totally agree creaky I am a Senior Director for at FTSE 100 who uses my brain cells daily but equally enjoys a Jeffery star palette, high heels and browse on net-a-porter!. They are not mutually exclusive. My children know what I do for a living and what I provide them with so I don't think a pamper party is going to turn them into vacuous individuals who think everything in life is about appearances. I love being a woman and having fun with makeup and clothes so I'm not surprised my kids do too. I also enjoy many many other things. If they want a football party they could have that too - it's about what gives them enjoyment. They are kids they should be having fun

That's great well but didn't you know that in order to be successful you must dress in rags and never lay your hands upon a tube of mascara? So I can't believe you, sorry.

Wearing a bit of mascara because I am an adult

Just think of all those poor mascara refusing people of age who will never be considered adult.

So, some people enjoy wearing make up and skin care, some people don’t, and some people wear make up “because they’re an adult” or because they think their bare naked face might scare small children. Good job we’re all different. As are our kids.

My DD enjoys playing with make up occasionally, she likes painting her nails and mine. She’s very far from being vacuous or chavvy.

I think each to their own every child is into different things. My 10yr old daughter chose to take a couple of friends to a trampoline place then onto my friends salon where they had their toes painted and their hair styled in some French plaits with hair Gems ect. They had a great time giggling, eating snacks and listening to music (Although tbf I wouldn't allow them to have gel polish or anything due to the shellac chemicals or uv light) i also text the parents to say Exactly what we had planned and asked if everyone was comfortable with it all. If you don't want your child doing it just decline the invite?

I am sure you can be a Director of a FTSE 100 company and be vacuous, vain and completely unimaginative - not saying you are at all but what's your argument exactly?

I think well was pointing our our DDs can enjoy playing with nail polish and aim higher in life than emulating a Kardashian?

Really Golden? You think a woman in a massively male dominated environment can get to that level being vacuous and unimaginative - seriously ?? I think that comment is vacuous quite frankly

itsbritneybiatches
That to me sounds lovely, but it's more of a princess party with some lipgloss and plaits.

Those sorts of parties don't bother me.

It's the face masks etc ones that feel uncomfortable to me.

I wish people would distinguish between "playing with makeup" and "pamper parties". The first one, I don't really mind, I wouldn't buy make up for a preteen child, but if she (and, say, a friend) played with my makeup, I wouldn't mind.
"Pamper parties" (what you describe here as the second form)) however are really not a suitable form of fun and socializing for children. I really don't see how they can be defended. Pushing a dubious concept of "relaxation" onto children is terrible.
(Tbf I don't really understand how going to a hair or nail salon has been sold as indulgence to women either. Yes I do have my hair cut etc but see it as a necessity not a relaxation - I could think of many many things more fun and relaxing then sitting in a salon)

You've never been to my hairdresser clearly ... the scalp massage is wonderful!