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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Social services..

318 replies

CandyCreeper · 23/01/2019 20:16

Posted recently about my sons school referring me to SS. I had a phone call this evening at 6pm on my landline from what appears to be the LA phone number. Im taking it its social services? (not expecting anything else) but aibu in thinking it is an odd time to call? I missed it as have been in bed with flu this also means my house isnt at its best because im ill, can/will they turned up unannounced??

OP posts:
Littlefish · 23/01/2019 20:19

Yes, they can turn up unannounced. I haven't read your previous thread - why did the school refer you?

Idonotlikeyoudonaldtrump · 23/01/2019 20:19

They can. I’d clean up just in case.
A duty officer could have called you st this time and it won’t look good if they can’t get hold of you so ring the number back and be prepared to respond calmly to what they say as they will be recording your response.

MaryShelley1818 · 23/01/2019 20:21

I work for Children’s Services. 6pm wouldn’t be unusual for me to make a call and we frequently carry out unannounced visits.

Original poster
CandyCreeper · 23/01/2019 20:22

Should I really ring it back?? why wont it look good if they cant get hold of me? its a landline not a mobile. I feel rotten and have a banging headache, with 4 kids its impossible to keep the house tidy all the time and thats without being ill, gosh this is a living nightmare.

OP posts:
Endofrelationship · 23/01/2019 20:25

Yes they can cold call. It's not unusual. I would clean up.

abbsisspartacus · 23/01/2019 20:26

Ring it back in the morning tell them you were indisposed

Evidencebased · 23/01/2019 20:28

SW aren't looking for tidy houses, contrary to popular belief.
They're looking for houses that are not dangerous, have adequate bedding, heating, means of making food, some toys. Clean in the sense of not being unhygienically dangerous.Or lots of rubbish around.

And they're not idiots; 4 DC and not v well, of course they'll realise that life right now is pretty tough, and that having an immaculate house is not going to happen.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 23/01/2019 20:30

Yes they can call unannounced and will if they can’t get hold of you on the phone. In your shoes I would call them back in the morning, see if they want to visit and make an appointment with them if so. Then clean and tidy. But get a good nights sleep tonight.

Original poster
CandyCreeper · 23/01/2019 20:34

I have d and v aswell. All this over a 4 year old with an overactive imagination! Didnt know they could turn up unannounced Sad

OP posts:
Imacliche · 23/01/2019 20:34

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

pandechocolate · 23/01/2019 20:36

Just ring them back.

PooleySpooley · 23/01/2019 20:38

“Clean up”

Grin

Unless it’s an absolute unhygienic shit tip don’t bother - this is not what the Social Worker is there for - seriously.

Amuses me the amount of immaculate houses I visit with fresh vacuum tracks in the carpets.

JustanotherCHRISTMASuser01 · 23/01/2019 20:39

ss can tell the difference between look weve been unwell for a few days untidiness and it's completely unkept and dirty if your in the second camp get cleaning

ConfessionalProfessional · 23/01/2019 20:42

Empty the bins
Take everything off sofa and chairs shake out cushions and plump
Open curtains
Make beds

3WildOnes · 23/01/2019 20:43

Is your house dirty? Unhygienic? Unsafe? If not don’t worry. I’m not a sw but work alongside and a slightly messy house does not concern me.

BoatyMcBoatFace2 · 23/01/2019 20:43

Why are they involved? Did tour 4 year old say something?

marymarkle · 23/01/2019 20:43

Can you cook in the kitchen or are things so piled up no food can be prepared? Do kids have beds with sheets and duvet covers? Can you use the bathroom or is the shower stacked with stuff and the toilet blocked? Is there food in the house? This is the kind of things they look at.
And if they do not ring out of office hours, they would not be able to speak to some parents who work full time and can not take personal calls at work.
But if there is no issue, don't panic.

staydazzling · 23/01/2019 20:43

do not make yourself more ill with worry please your ill, they turn up, they get what they get. I'm not being flippant but if they turn up unannounced they can't expect things of people.

BollocksToBrexit · 23/01/2019 20:44

I had a visit from SS following a malicious report. My house was a complete tip after 5 months of severe SPD and having a little baby. They weren't bothered at all. They can tell the difference between a temporary mess and a genuine neglectful environment.

pandechocolate · 23/01/2019 20:47

I don't mean to be rude but I have just found your previous thread. Your school have reported you as your child made a comment about you hitting them (I'll note that you've said it's something your child has made up for other posters to understand the context of the prev thread) - so SS will not be looking for an immaculate house. If your house is unhygienic and dirty, or there are red flags within the home, then yes obviously it's going to be noted, but they have had a physical safeguarding concern reported...so don't worry about the state of your house if it's just a bit untidy from being poorly...worry that to them, it might look like you are dodging their calls, and ring back.

They do not care if your beds aren't made and cushions aren't plump.

Original poster
CandyCreeper · 23/01/2019 20:48

Oh whatever Ive had a nasty chesty cough all week sorry I didnt post about it, you are pathetic. I got the bed out as it has been in my house for a few weeks and is a hazard!! I didnt do it sooner as what happened was my bed broke!!! I ordered a new one and me and my sister took it upstairs, it got stuck getting up and took over an hour for us to finally get it up but it was exhausting. I didnt want to send the bed back as it was an ebay purchase that I paid for online and
paid a man to collect it for me!! Incan post the ebay details if you like??. I then though how the hell am i going to get the old one out as I have no help!!! didnt want to call my sister again as it took us forever and quite frankly i didnt want to take the piss. AFTER this social services call was
made I though oh dear I have to get this bed OUT. I didnt want to be judged for having a metal bed frame “hazard” upstairs so attempted
myself as my sister was adamant the other one that was up there MUST have been smaller, it wasnt. It got stuck!!! today ive woken up feeling rotten with a
massive headache probably from over doing it. You are very sad, are you bored?

OP posts:
pandechocolate · 23/01/2019 20:49

Sorry I meant to say they won't be looking for an immaculate house - a neglectful house (I'm not saying you're neglectful!!) and just a slightly untidy house are different things.

Original poster
CandyCreeper · 23/01/2019 20:51

There are some sad individuals on mumsnet, I got the bed out because I had been reported to SS!! It killed me trying to do it probably why im fucked today. Sorry for not posting detailed step by step accounts of my life. Yes my son made an allegation, it was false and im not here to “prove” to anyone it was false, Ive already spoken about it. ALL I was asking was can SS call at 6pm (seemed a strange time) and can they just show up.

OP posts:
PooleySpooley · 23/01/2019 20:52

They are more likely to show up if you don’t return their call.

Original poster
CandyCreeper · 23/01/2019 20:52

I initially tried to get the first bed up myself as im a LP and im use to doing things myself (obviously it got stuck 😩) sorry for only posting what I thought was revelant on a totally unrelated thread. 🙄

OP posts: