Social services..

[CandyCreeper]

Posted recently about my sons school referring me to SS. I had a phone call this evening at 6pm on my landline from what appears to be the LA phone number. Im taking it its social services? (not expecting anything else) but aibu in thinking it is an odd time to call? I missed it as have been in bed with flu this also means my house isnt at its best because im ill, can/will they turned up unannounced??

[BoatyMcBoatFace2]

No they're not all arseholes- I take that back. Just the one who caused my cousin so much grief. Threatening to turn up at her door at an inconvenient time after a malicious report was made. Just the threat alone terrified her- " if you don't do so and so, I'll come to your house tomorrow at X o'clock".

[Bumblebee39]

@BoatyMcBoatFace2

I have come across some rotten apples also

[LipstickHandbagCoffee]

What’s the actual issue Boaty?clearly a referral needs to be followed up
A request was made for a Home Visit?What should SW have done?
Understandably it’s stressful to be visited,no one is denying that
But can you see,that on balance cousins referral had to be investigated,resulting in no further action

[YouSayPotatoesISayVodka]

They might come round unannounced. They won’t be too bothered about the mess of 4 children especially if you tell them you have been ill. These things happen, things slide when we’re not well.

Talk to them. Answer their questions honestly. Don’t get defensive or angry (like you have been here- I’m not being snotty, it is what it is) you’ve done nothing wrong as you said yourself.

Of course some SWs are arseholes. Same as some doctors/hairdressers/plumbers/whatever. They’re all doing their job and it doesn’t seem to be an easy one a lot of the time. They’re not out to take your kids away and put them into care- it’s hard to do that, expensive for the LA to implement and provide care and there’s a shortage of foster carers anyway. Maybe you need support in which care they can help you. But if you don’t they will be more than happy to close your case and concentrate on families that need them!

[jessstan2]

Google the telephone number & it's likely you'll find out who made the call.

[BoatyMcBoatFace2]

It's the threat from the social worker. Why threaten to turn up at someone's house at a certain time if they don't do as you say?

I was also told by a therapist who worked alongside social workers to never get them involved in your family life because they do have powers. He's told me so many instances of injustice within the system. But this may just be my LA. I have no doubts that this happens elsewhere too.

[MumW]

Ok, I imagine this is mortifying but you know you haven't done anything wrong.

I agree that you should ring back and explain that you missed the call as you're ill with a flu-like cold and d&v.
I don't think that you need to worry about an untidy house but just do a whip around and ensure that things like the bins aren't overflowing, that you've put bleach down the loo and there is nothing that obviously constitutes a hazard and then collapse into bed and get some much needed sleep.

I know how you feel. I remember, just before for her 1st birthday, DD1 getting out of her highchair when my back was turned - she was strapped in. She managed to give herself a greenstick fracture. I was terrified. We spent the next evening fitting the cupboard locks and getting a set of reins to make sure it didn't happen again.

Your DS won't be the first child they've seen with an active imagination. There'll see that your children are cared for and loved so imagine any investigation will just be a formality.

Try not to worry but recognise that the fact you are worrying is healthy in itself.

I would say but maybe not as you're ill so will have to do.

[ShowMeTheKittens]

Sometimes kids do make false accusations Mumsnetters. My friend's son claimed that his Mum locked him in a box every evening so he wouldn't be naughty. ( he is very naughty but no boxes are involved)
The school believed him and there was a huge ruckus.He is actually a spoilt little chap and adored by his parents.
Sorry I don't know what SS are looking for, but I guess they can tell the difference between untidiness and someone being ill.

[LipstickHandbagCoffee]

Told by a therapist,hmm
So because that advice suits your agenda,the therapist is therefore reputable
You’re simply hearing what you want to hear, predetermined prejudice

[NotANotMan]

It's the threat from the social worker. Why threaten to turn up at someone's house at a certain time if they don't do as you say?

Eh? Because if you are worried about a child's safety or wellbeing you need to check on that child, and if a parent avoids a visit you may need to be firm about it.

Please remember that social workers have statutory (legal) responsibilities to investigate safeguarding concerns. If you have an issue with this take it up with the judiciary.

[BoatyMcBoatFace2]

The therapist is my FIL so I believe what he says. He's worked in that area for 20+ years.

[BoatyMcBoatFace2]

Threatening someone is illegal I believe.

[Nicknacky]

Surely having your FIL as your therapist isn’t very objective due to the family relationship?

Social workers are not the enemy.

[LipstickHandbagCoffee]

Oh well then boaty seeing it’s your FIL that makes it all ok.must be true
I’d suggest you have a specific opinion,he matches it.you think that equals ‘proof’

[Nicknacky]

That’s isn’t a threat ffs

[PooleySpooley]

This thread just gets weirder

It’s not a threat - the letter will say if we don’t hear from you by x date we will visit your home address on x date and time.

That’s not a threat that’s their statutory duty to safeguard your child!

[BoatyMcBoatFace2]

FIL wasn't my therapist. He worked as a therapist.

[LipstickHandbagCoffee]

It’s not a threat it’s a request to undertake a HV,notification of intent
It’s hardly skulduggery if one is told in advance about a planned appt
Of course nothing will disavow you of your opinion boaty.you & fil

[BoatyMcBoatFace2]

I don't think my FIL would lie about what he's witnessed from social workers.

Some social workers don't do their jobs properly. Some ruin lives. He's told me of the times these have happened.

[BoatyMcBoatFace2]

OP should be careful and get rid of them asap. She's done nothing wrong, but a social worker may see differently

[Nicknacky]

boaty You arent helping the op with her issue.

They are not out to ruin her life, they are investigating a report of assault against a child.

[PooleySpooley]

I am sure a therapist has a completely non biased view of taxes of woe from his paying clients.

Totally unprofessional of him to be discussing cases with anyone other than his supervisor btw.

[PooleySpooley]

*tales

[Onecabbage]

Flu and d&v, poor you.

[BoatyMcBoatFace2]

I didn't say they were out to ruin her life

Just to get rid. God forbid the case is closed then the 4 year old tell more lies.