I'm right to be annoyed with DH about this aren't I?

[NoMoreMarbles]

So I'm in bed this morning and turned into my back. My PJs are long pants and a cami type top(relevant)... I hadn't quite woken up and DH was watching TV and didn't know I was awake.

I feel the top of my PJ top moving and H has it lifted up and is peeping down my top at my boobs... WTF! I brushed his hand off and asked what he thinks he's doing and his response was "I was only having a look"

I'm seriously pi*%?d off that he thinks it's acceptable to purposely look down my top when he thinks I'm asleep!

AIBU?

If it's a one off, then leave it, but if he often does things like that and knows you don't like it, you have a problem.

Its a bit lecherous.

If it's a one off, then leave it, but if he often does things like that and knows you don't like it, you have a problem.

He is doing it when he thinks she is unconscious so how would she know usually?

Its disgusting behaviour

Gross! YANBU, that’s creepy af

Jeez how old is he? He sounds about 12

That's horrible, you aren't his property to undress and look at when he wants without your consent!

I would be more than annoyed about this, I would be angry, and I'd also be questioning his attitude towards you.

If he was touching you in your sleep then yes absolute no go and totally our of order. But just having a look I just couldn't get worked up about, you're married he likes your body it's a good thing. My husband and I are always perving on each other.
Just as long as it goes no further than a look.

That being said if you don't like it tell him and it shouldn't be happening again

It really depends on your relationship, I wouldn't mind my DH having a look, it's not like there's anything he hasn't seen before. I might be slightly annoyed that he woke me up. My baby sometimes wakes me up by latching onto a boob he's fetched out by himself though, so maybe I'm just a bit casual about my boobs. If he was staring at your face or looking at you without lifting your top that would be fine, obviously you feel more sensitive about your breasts so he just needs to understand now that that's your boundary.

I would be so creeped out by this and my mind would be on overdriven wodneirng what else he does while I’m unconscious. sorry OP but I would really struggle to trust him after this.

How weird. It’s like something a teenager who has never seen boobs before would do.

He obviously isn’t 100% interested in your consent.

Gross.

it's not like there's anything he hasn't seen before.

That’s not really how consent works. You don’t get to to things to an unconscious person just because it’s something you’ve done before while they were conscious.

I'd be calling out that behaviour. This time it's a cheeky look, next time it might be a quick squeeze. You're not there just for him arousal or entertainment. Absolutely doesn't matter that he has "seem them before", I'm assuming they've also had sex before but that doesn't mean he can have sex with her whenever he wants

Are you sure he didn’t know you were awake? I would be awake the second anyone was watching Tv in the same room.

It’s letchy and disrespectful.

If it feels wrong for you, it’s right for you to be angry.

Only you know how close it sits to having a pic of your DH on your phone (a normal pic, not some home porn job) that you look st when he is not present and think ‘phwoar’, and vice versa. How would you feel if he looked at pics of you during the day and thought ‘my wife is gorgeous and sexy’.

But havjng your clothes moved when you feel vulnerable is different.

Talk to him about how you feel.

But understand that unless he has form for being a sex pest and not accepting a resistance, then his intentions were probably good.

He needs to watch the tea animation about consent.

But understand that unless he has form for being a sex pest and not accepting a resistance, then his intentions were probably good.

What do you mean by “his intentions were probably good”? His intention was to get a gawp at his wife’s breasts. How is that good for OP?

that wouldn't bother me at all to be honest but if it bothers you then of course you can be annoyed about it, you can be annoyed about anything you want

LTB then

Creepy

LTB then

does every woman who gets annoyed with something her husband does have to LTB?

If he was cuddling you and you were asleep and he touched your boobs, would you ever respond to him?
If so then he didn't think what he did was wrong.
I do wonder if people now are more easily offended as we get older into a relationship... As if you were both still in the first sirings of lust, you would not react the same way.

mummmy2017 How is OP supposed to consent to something he does when she is asleep?

That’s seriously out of order. I’d be so angry.

It wouldn’t bother me in the slightest.

My husband, looking at my boobs, when I’m asleep... Nope, not finding that even remotely a problem.

I’m in my 40’s, I’m finding myself more and more perplexed by the things slightly younger and much younger women are offended/worried/concerned/calling abuse. I genuinely worry how it’s all affecting happiness and mental health.