I'm right to be annoyed with DH about this aren't I?

[NoMoreMarbles]

So I'm in bed this morning and turned into my back. My PJs are long pants and a cami type top(relevant)... I hadn't quite woken up and DH was watching TV and didn't know I was awake.

I feel the top of my PJ top moving and H has it lifted up and is peeping down my top at my boobs... WTF! I brushed his hand off and asked what he thinks he's doing and his response was "I was only having a look"

I'm seriously pi*%?d off that he thinks it's acceptable to purposely look down my top when he thinks I'm asleep!

AIBU?

The thing that is so bizarre here is that people can't understand that other couples have different sexual boundaries than others. Just because you like being looked at/touched/rubbed/kissed while waking up (or in some cases, while still asleep), doesn't mean that everyone else should. Say I like anal, does that mean all of you should like anal? Say I like sucking my DHs toes but he isn't a fan, does that mean he has to suck it up (no pun intended) and that you all have to like it too? No. Were different people, in different relationships, with different histories and different feelings and opinions. To say OP is a prude for not enjoying what you personally enjoy in bed is just bizarre!

Some very, very uptight and repressed people out there. Sad. I wonder what it is in society that drives this.

"Some very, very uptight and repressed people out there. Sad. I wonder what it is in society that drives this."

Are you virtue signalling? Boasting about how very very progressive you are?

No, I’m not doing that. Does it make you feel better to think that I am?

Massive drip feed there; two incidents being so much bigger than one. What's a little concerning is you saying you didn't make a big deal out of it to him with the shower incident nor now, but you're expressing all your angst on mumsnet. Nobody here is ogling you, best to tell your "D"H kindly but very firmly that it all stops now because you find it creepy. Don't sugarcoat it, you don't like it so tell him to stop, he's your husband and should do what you ask regards of what he feels. If he still continues then you have a much much bigger problem.

Some very, very uptight and repressed people out there

It’s really sad that you think people expressing what they’re comfortable means they’re uptight and repressed.

OP knows her husband. No doubt if she feels creeped out it’s because his actions are indeed creepy.

The two incidents together paint a picture of someone who actively enjoys covert observations of you. That you don’t know is the turn on.

He isn’t “admiring” her body or flattering her. He is excited by the idea that her body belongs to him and he can access it without her knowledge.

The fact the OP has a heightened response to it is no surprise given he has a history of this despite being told (even gently).

The two incidents together paint a picture of someone who actively enjoys covert observations of you. That you don’t know is the turn on

He isn’t “admiring” her body or flattering her. He is excited by the idea that her body belongs to him and he can access it without her knowledge

John Luther is on Mumsnet, clearly.

SHE. WAS. AWAKE. She had turned over in bed, which tends to indicate someone waking up. Her DH knew she was waking up, because he's not a fucking DRONGO.

And FGS, at this point he pulled her cami slightly forward, and took a sneeky peek at his wife's boobs.

What he did not do is remove all of her clothing and do stuff to her in her sleep. So, please, stop adding bells and whistles that simply are not there.

Like a PP, my DH also gets up before me, and I regularly lie in bed and admire his lovely body as he gets himself dressed. I've never shouted "Corr", so for all I know, he has no idea. Call the Police!

YANBU, that’s a weird thing to do. Have you spoken to him about it?

It wouldn't bother me personally. I have been known to stroke and snuggle meaningfully with my sleeping husband until he wakes up enough to do something more useful about it. He always does

Amen to that! I haven't read the whole thread, so apologies to anyone who has said it here before me.

Watching you in the shower without you knowing... that actually does give me the creeps. Eek.

He needs to understand how it makes you feel as he clearly thinks it's harmless and isn't listening to you.

Personally due to a past expirience I had when younger when I was asleep I would have a problem with this. I don't want my husband or anyone else to touch me that way when I'm asleep that is my choice and my right

Same here, if my dp touches me anywhere intimately when I'm asleep I wake up terrified like it's happening all over again (he does it when he's asleep so it's not his fault and he is trying to solve it).

On balance I think it might be ok to assume your partner would be fine with it ONCE but if it upset them the correct reaction would be to apologise and assure them that it would never happen again. For me, it's the reaction that would bother me more than the event. Really if he had have just apologised or even just said "If you don't like it then it won't happen again", you both could have moved on and it would have been a non issue.