I'm right to be annoyed with DH about this aren't I?

[NoMoreMarbles]

So I'm in bed this morning and turned into my back. My PJs are long pants and a cami type top(relevant)... I hadn't quite woken up and DH was watching TV and didn't know I was awake.

I feel the top of my PJ top moving and H has it lifted up and is peeping down my top at my boobs... WTF! I brushed his hand off and asked what he thinks he's doing and his response was "I was only having a look"

I'm seriously pi*%?d off that he thinks it's acceptable to purposely look down my top when he thinks I'm asleep!

AIBU?

Personally it wouldn't bother me. I don't think anyone IBU to be annoyed but, for me, it would be quite sexy.

An OP posted on here that she's pregnant and in pain and her DH started groping her down there which I found disgusting and inappropriate because she clearly wasn't up for it. However, I couldn't get worked up about my DH sneaking a look at my boobs.

I'm forever touching him up when he's asleep but I know that he doesn't mind. That's where your issue is. If he knows you don't like it, I doubt he'll do it again. I'd leave it at that.

So this means that OP can never snuggle up to her sleeping partner and put her hand under his top and stroke his tummy, as this would be classed as assault.

ILoveChristmasLights

It wouldn't bother me either. My partner likes to look at my boobs a lot and mostly wants me topless at home (he doesn't get his way the majority of the time). But he will cuddle me and hold my boobs in his sleep and when I'm asleep.

If you don't like it, tell him and he should stop. Don't think it's worth divorcing him over though.

Sneaky and creepy.
And a major turn-off. Is he sneaky in other ways too?

I'm forever touching him up when he's asleep but I know that he doesn't mind

Genuine question, what do you gain by groping a sleeping man? Wheres the pleasure in it?

isn't there a bit in the film Notting Hill, when he sneaks a peek at Julia Robert's boobs and then compares them to Meatloaf's man boobs?

Mumsnet is weird sometimes. I cannot understand someone getting so wound up about their DH having a look at their boobs. And then the stream of posters calling him creepy and lecherous?? I bet it's fun being in a relationship with you!

I check my DH out sometimes when he is asleep (he does sleep naked though and can kick the covers off!) Are we suggesting I should wake him or avert my eyes until he consents?

Guess being woken up with hot morning sex doesn't ever occur in anyone's relationship anymore?

It wouldn't bother me to be honest. But then me and Dp always do stuff like this. I always have a sneaky look at his arms and shoulders if he is in bed. I love his arms and shoulders. I think he is sexy as hell.

If you 'hadn't quite woken up' it suggests that actually you were slightly awake and therefore it was probably obvious to him - people are different fully asleep to half-asleep. Okay it sounds a bit but you are married to him, you do presumably have sex - he probably sees it as initiating sex in a harmless way. Tell him you disagree, job done.

Putting myself in your position I would of felt really creeped out and called him a creep! Had I been awake and he knew I was awake and done it tongue in cheek to be a bit cheeky I think I would brush it off and laugh but it's the whole asleep thing that makes it feel seedy.

Because sometimes he wakes up, is chuffed to bits that I am touching him in a loving way and we getting it on.
Most men love it when their lover makes the first move.

Wow not something to get worked up about.
Everyone is so paranoid these days.

How do you all initiate sex, do you all ask explicitly and get a definite yes or do you never just have a look, a cuddle or kiss and see where it leads to.? Do you never try to wake your OH for sex?

I check my DH out sometimes when he is asleep (he does sleep naked though and can kick the covers off!) Are we suggesting I should wake him or avert my eyes until he consents?

Not exactly the same, though is it? OP says he moved her top to have a look.... it her boobs were already in full view that would be a different situation. But he uncovered them.

It's creepy that a woman's husband sneaks a look at her boobs while they're in bed?

Seriously?

Jesus fucking christ. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Genuine question, what do you gain by groping a sleeping man? Wheres the pleasure in it?

That's a fair question! TMI alert, but I like feeling him when he's hard as it's a turn on for me. When I see that he's hard while he's asleep I might cuddle up to him and have a feel as I find it sexy.

What a fuss about nothing!

Will some of you knock it off? OP felt uncomfortable, which she has every right to do seeing as it's her body. It's all very good harping on about consent and boundaries, but god forbid any woman puts that into practice, especially if she's married (because somehow that's different?)

How do you all initiate sex

With conscious people.

It's creepy that a woman's husband sneaks a look at her boobs while they're in bed?

Yeah, he’s her husband, not her owner.

And not just in bed, but she was sleeping as far as he knew. So yes, creepy.

Will some of you knock it off? OP felt uncomfortable, which she has every right to do seeing as it'sherbody

Because she asked. I think getting pissed off over this is unreasonable. If she had said, don't do that it makes me uncomfortable, I would say she was being reasonable.

But all the posters talking about it being creepy, is a huge generalisation. To them it's creepy. Many are saying to them, it's not.

Or is only one opinion allowed on the thread.

It's all very good harping on about consent and boundaries, but god forbid any woman puts that into practice, especially if she's married (because somehow that's different?)

Well there's "boundaries" (which is currently up there with "woke" imo) and there's taking the piss.

If you seriously have a problem with your partner looking at your naked body without formal bloody consent then I don't think a sexual relationship is for you.

Looking at your naked body if you’re in bed naked and he see some it is different than him moving your clothing while you’re asleep to see parts of your body you chose to cover.