To be really angry and upset to be labelled racist?

[motherlondon]

We are currently on holiday in Asia, the latest place we are staying is a very nice all
Inclusive small resort.

Not cheap, to put in perspective this place cost as much for 3 nights as last place cost for 12 nights, but wanted to end holiday on a lovely high note.

Me and two kids (6 and8). It was a 90 minute boat transfer to get here. We drove for four hours, waited at port for three hours as boat left 90 minutes later than we were told.

I think they bunched two boat departures together. The boat had a small enclosed cabin and one of my kids sat inside, but when we went to go in, realised that there was hardly any room and said we would sit outside, with another family of four (adult kids). The crew told us we would get wet but we said we would sit out anyway.

We got absolutely pounded, just destroyed by water, I lost an earring, my ear is full of water etc.

When we arrived it was all, garlands and welcome drinks, I asked for a towel and said to manager that it was ridiculous and dangerous.

That night at dinner manager asked if I was 'feeling better' and I said again that it wasn't a case of feeling better, but a case of the trip not being appropriate.

Anyway, we got on with our holiday, had an absolutely beautiful day today, and went to pay for some tat that kids got at gift shop. On desk is a report on guests - mr and Mrs so and so, enjoyed snorkelling and food but said service slow etc.

Mine was that I was angry when I arrived, chose to sit outside boat with other WHITE (their use of capitals) family and that although I had toned down by dinner, the manager believes I have a problem with ASIANS.

I am mortified. I have lived and worked all over the world and the very very last thing you could label me is racist.

I feel embarrassed that we have been getting served at dinner, helped in the water etc by staff who've been briefed that I don't like Asians, and also that if I saw the report, what other guests did?

I am sickened and it has seriously upset me, before dinner I was planning when we could come back for longer and now I just want to get out of here.

I have emailed the manager, but am I being unreasonable? To be pissed off about the dangerous boat ride, and then to be embarrassed and sad that I have been labelled a racist?

What should I do?

@Imissgmichael

I'm also on a phone, and can still see it.

I've already told you at least twice what it says.

Why do you keep banging on about my Thai step mum?? I said that as an answer to you saying I obviously thought you couldn't legitimately complain in an Asian country without being racist. As I have done that exact thing. That's a pretty clear and straightforward reply...how is that difficult for you to comprehend?

Why have you latched onto that and started to mock me for having a Thai relative and mentioning it? I didn't mention it in regards to the OP.

God forbid someone should be negative about someone who's posted in Aibu and not given all the facts 😂

Behave yourself. Bloody hysterical.

Yet MrsT you’re the one who’s that’s had a deletion.

Nope can’t see the redacted portion. Why don’t you repeat it word for word. As I said though regardless of the wording it doesn’t negate the safety notice or the resort staffs responsibility does it.

I can just imagine an insurance company seeking to recover their cost of covering an accident-

Insurance Company Representative (ICR): Your client is liable for our costs.

Resort Representative (RR): No she insisted on sitting outside.

ICR: But it wasn’t safe and you’re clients staff were in charge of the boat not our client. It was your responsibility to refuse.

RR: she could have squeezed inside the cabin.

ICR: But that’s against your clients own safety rules.

RR: Erm, but she’s racist.

The argument doesn’t really work does it.

As for you’re Thai stepmother, you mentioned it as a weird gotcha so deserved being called out for it.

If your going to justify the staffs actions based on this incident then you are branding the OP racist despite your protestations.

You’re the one hysterical and lacking comprehension.

I get some things might need to be noted down like complaints to improve customer service

So do I, but that's something which a high end hotel's management might well want to see - and if safety regs have been ignored I'd expect questions to be asked

Just like the accusations of racism, the account of the "LARGE WAVES warning" was written after the event and might, as I've said, be a case of getting excuses lined up

But like everyone else I wasn't there, so unlike some I can't say whether OP "came across as racist" or whether it was more as I've described above

@Imissgmichael

What are you on about.....??

😂

I'm just gonna leave you to your own imagination doll. Nothing like anything I said at all or inferred. You just run away with your wee self.

Op I hope you get an answer from the manager as to why the handover book was left in an area for guests to see, as it shouldn't have been. It should have been for staff only eyes. Aside from that, I really think you were unreasonable for complaining about something you were warned about, and I agree with previous posters as that may be why the staff have felt you've come across badly.

Enjoy the rest of your holiday and make sure you don't get on the boat back if it is overcrowded.

They warned you not to sit outside, you did, got drenched, then complained. You sat outside with a white family - were they the only other family on the boat who were caucasian? They might have jumped to a conclusion but how were they to know? Youve said - youre not a racist, so dont let it bother you. You know who you are, so try not to be upset.

I have worked for a very nice hotel, and yes, we have notes on all the guests, some good, few bad and some guests would complain about eveything - we had to note it all down. It is a mistake on the hotels part to leave it out, but imo its quite normal to have notes on guests likes/dislikes. It was part of my job and played a part in the whole recognition thing.

OP ignore the silly posts on here. I’d just take it further when you get home I doubt you’ll get anywhere with hotel management.

I get your point puzzledlady but as I’ve said it’s the resorts responsibility to ensure safety rules are followed and this doesn’t seem to have been followed .

Anyway we’re going around in circles.

I hope the OP gets this resolved to her satisfaction and if not she writes a stinking review on social media.

I'd be really upset. You need to speak to the company you booked with. Or if direct the hotel manager. This is fucking rude!

I think the op needs to come back and clarify what ‘not much room inside the cabin’ meant. Surely you would either stand and let the kids sit or have them sit inside on the floor rather than have young children pelted with dangerous waves?
Also was there any need to be so rude to the person who asked if you were feeling better? They weren’t responsible for you getting wet! The only complaint you have is that they mistakenly thought you are only an arse to Asian people when actually you’d be an arse regardless of race.

From the report:

'because even though the...[redacted]...to sit inside because the waves are very strong, they still insisted to...'

The OP had been warned. And then she complained - just as MrsT4 has repeatedly said.

@Tara336

@Ghanagirl I think we are both entitled to feel upset tbh. No one should be subjected to racism I completely agree with you!
But feeling upset about being labelled racist is completely different to feeling incredibly frightened as a child whilst subjected to racist abuse from white men and teenagers when very small black girl.
I’m now grown black woman but 5’3 and around 8.7 stone and have been racially abused by white men who are 6ft plus when with my kids.
Feeling upset is just not the same as feeling terrified and your children crying due to racist abuse.
I’m sorry it’s just not the same

The report in itself is very creepy do many hotels do that?? its just so creepy Definitely complain id be going barmy at the thought

We were told we would get splashed not that we would get pounded so hard by water it hurt.

You know they don’t have any control over the weather currents

How creepy to be reporting on your every move eg they spent this afternoon lounging by the pool etc. Sounds a touch Stephen king. I would want to get out if there ASAP.

Or even a bit Margaret Atwood. Very odd.

Was the White family surname WHITE

@motherlondon
I don’t think you’re racist but I also think you need take a seat and stop complaining about a situation you created.
Being called a racist (which from your post you actually weren’t) is not the same as being subjected to aggressive racism.
If you want to know what that’s like feel free to PM me...

Weird responses. It's horrible and defamatory. And has spoilt what should have been a lovely experience. Anyway - get them on the safety issue - if the boat was dangerously overloaded (check the notice on the way back) make sure you kick up a huge stink.

@similarminimer
Why are the responses weird?

Because the fact that some people have experienced horrible racism has no bearing on the situation as the OP describes it. She had what sounds like an unsafe transfer (overcrowding) in an Asian country and said so.

@rightreckoner
I haven’t said anything different but think complaining about being branded racist is not the issue as she made a decision which meant she got wet and pounded with waves.
I definitely DO NOT think OP was racist but think she was bit moany and entitled!!

@Ghanagirl I didn’t say it was the same I just said it upset me

It's fucking weird that they have typed notes on what you do each day.

Is it a bit odd that the notes are typed in English? Is English their main language?