To be really angry and upset to be labelled racist?

[motherlondon]

We are currently on holiday in Asia, the latest place we are staying is a very nice all
Inclusive small resort.

Not cheap, to put in perspective this place cost as much for 3 nights as last place cost for 12 nights, but wanted to end holiday on a lovely high note.

Me and two kids (6 and8). It was a 90 minute boat transfer to get here. We drove for four hours, waited at port for three hours as boat left 90 minutes later than we were told.

I think they bunched two boat departures together. The boat had a small enclosed cabin and one of my kids sat inside, but when we went to go in, realised that there was hardly any room and said we would sit outside, with another family of four (adult kids). The crew told us we would get wet but we said we would sit out anyway.

We got absolutely pounded, just destroyed by water, I lost an earring, my ear is full of water etc.

When we arrived it was all, garlands and welcome drinks, I asked for a towel and said to manager that it was ridiculous and dangerous.

That night at dinner manager asked if I was 'feeling better' and I said again that it wasn't a case of feeling better, but a case of the trip not being appropriate.

Anyway, we got on with our holiday, had an absolutely beautiful day today, and went to pay for some tat that kids got at gift shop. On desk is a report on guests - mr and Mrs so and so, enjoyed snorkelling and food but said service slow etc.

Mine was that I was angry when I arrived, chose to sit outside boat with other WHITE (their use of capitals) family and that although I had toned down by dinner, the manager believes I have a problem with ASIANS.

I am mortified. I have lived and worked all over the world and the very very last thing you could label me is racist.

I feel embarrassed that we have been getting served at dinner, helped in the water etc by staff who've been briefed that I don't like Asians, and also that if I saw the report, what other guests did?

I am sickened and it has seriously upset me, before dinner I was planning when we could come back for longer and now I just want to get out of here.

I have emailed the manager, but am I being unreasonable? To be pissed off about the dangerous boat ride, and then to be embarrassed and sad that I have been labelled a racist?

What should I do?

@Imissgmichael what are YOU on about?
I didn't say she said she'd scribbled anything out.
She HAS scribbled out a bit on the report where it says she was advised to sit inside because the waves where VERY STRONG and she insisted on sitting outside with the other white family.
But she's telling us that they said she'd 'get wet'.Not quite the same.She then got hit by very strong waves and bloody complained about it!

Some people think that because they are paying for a service such as a hotel that they can just treat people however they want,that's what I'm saying.

The report thing at the hotel is weird, details the families movements is a bit unnerving. But on the other hand, maybe if people were called out for behaving like dickheads when they were behaving like dickheads then they'd stop behaving like dickheads!

Yet again I can't believe most of the replies- although there are some more sensible ones.

The boat ride was dangerous. No life jackets and not enough places for the children to sit on a rough ride with water everywhere.

Being accused of being racist is deeply unpleasant, and I wouldn't want to stay there any more either.

The fact that you've paid a lot of money and this should be a luxurious and a relaxing stay is relevant- usually you expect a high level of customer service and that hasn't been provided.

Spying on guests and writing nasty things on their 'reports' would mean I wouldn't want to stay there again.

I don't think you need to look into yourself, or wonder if you are racist at all OP, this is just an unpleasant experience. Chalk it up to that and don't go back.

@Tara336
Labelling people as racist is too easily done these days and for the most inappropriate reasons. I was accused of racism recently for saying I was looking forward to watching Gone with the Wind on TV at Christmas!
Being labelled racist is easily done if you act in racist way.
It’s not easily done at all.
Being subjected to aggressive racism is much worse I can assure you.

Please update us as to what the manager says. I don't think YABU at all and I would be livid about this situation especially the "guest reports" how utterly unprofessional and unwelcoming. I think the boat trip had no obvious solution for you, either nowhere to sit or get wet and it sounds like you in no way expected to be pounded by waves, if that was likely they should not have let anyone sit there.

At £700 a night I'd expect private transfers! What happened to your luggage? Did that get soaked through as well?

What on earth has she done that is racist? Being unhappy with a hotel in Asia? Is that all it takes?

Peachesandcream15

Go on Peaches treat yourself an RTFT.

Unless we're playing MN bingo and you just wanted to trot out that bullshit line to win?

Definitely not racist, I'm not sure how Op is posting here as they were "destroyed"

Oh I've just noticed on the OP's other comment she was informed the report book was for the managers second in command, so it's an handover book about guests complaints or dissatisfaction!!? That's pretty bog standard in a customer service background so that the other managers are aware of any customers dissatisfaction.

I think your issue should be that it's been left out for all guests to see actually, but the book itself in that context makes sense. I'd ask that they keep their handover book somewhere for staff only but if you've came across as having a problem with Asians to the manager then that's how you've come across.

This is horrible.

On boat transfers in the Maldives I can well imagine that overcrowding would be really scary. They should absolutely have done two trips and are really out of order.

Then to make a point of telling people that it was a racial issue is insanity. I’d be so upset.

MrsT you’ve just said “she HAS scribbled out the bit on the report” so your contradicting yourself. Has the OP said that the report stated that she was warned that the waves were very strong because if she has I've missed it or are you making things up. As far as I can see all the OP was told was she’d get wet and you’re completely ignoring the safety notice on maximum occupancy.

I’m also not sure why you’re going on about treating people like servants and dickheads. Are you saying that complaining about poor service and dangerous conditions means you’re treating people badly and you’re a dickhead. You’re dickhead and servants comments are irrelevant to the OPs circumstances and quite bizarre.

Have I missed the bit in the thread where it is explained why a hotel is writing report cards on its guests?! I'm flabbergasted!

Why do they do it?

@Imissgmichael

Sigh...not contradicting myself.

She hasn't said she has scribbled anything out apart from names on the report.

She HAS attempted to scribble out a bit on the report picture, that I can make out despite her trying to cover it up that says she was advised that it would be best to sit inside as there are 'strong waves'. As I am LITERALLY reading between the lines.

OP tells us that the boat crew says she would get wet, the incident book says the crew told her she would get hit by 'strong waves.'

She has attempted to cover up the bit that says she was told she would experience strong waves if she sat outside. Probably because she was told she would experience strong waves. She then complained about experiencing strong waves. Therefore - behaving like a dickhead.

It's not difficult ffs. And completely relevant and not at all bizarre.

I would be extremely upset.

You were right to complain, if I understand correctly they over filled the boat, then took offence to you rightly complaining.

Did you book independently or through a travel agency?

Its like a fucking school report,,All the other guests would have read that wouldnt they,
Why are you emailing the manager ? Speak to him and put him right,,,

How did I miss that photo?

Thehop- Then to make a point of telling people that it was a racial issue is insanity. I’d be so upset.

I completely agree with you Thehop. Unfortunately some people on here can’t see it and seem keen to play the racist card. Just look at Mrs Ts last post at 11.12. Apparently MrsT thinks if you merely make a legitimate complaint to a resort in an Asian country then you come across as having a problem with Asians ( obviously MrsT hasn’t said that outright but it’s pretty obvious that what MrsT meant). Utter madness and as I’ve said before smacks of racism against white people.

Any type of racism or xenophobia is awful and shouldn’t be tolerated but shouting racism at every perceived insult or wrongdoing or in this case because a customer has had the cheek to make a complaint is out of order and pathetic (however I think in this case it’s more of a case of trying to covering themselves as they really can’t get passed that they ignored the safety notice).

@Imissgmichael again what the fuck are you on about!?

I'm white, my dad lives in Thailand, my stepmum is Thai, I visit there often and have complained in places when there, though very very rarely as find most places in Asia bend over backwards to help guests.

I didn't say she was racist. I said she was an annoying customer who thought she knew better. Who has come across as having a problem with Asians to the manager, and given that she isn't telling us the truth about the information she was given about sitting outside I'm inclined to think she wasn't as pleasant as she's making out.

I don't know why I've even bothered replying to you actual cos you have the comprehension of a 10year old.

Surely you’d have been better in the cramped cabin than getting pelted by waves? Even if some of you had to stand or squash up? The fact you were advised to go in there suggests you could have fitted. It obviously appeared that you would rather sit with the white passengers outside than share a space close to Asian passengers. Moaning to the (presumably) Asian staff twice about it as well when it was entirely your choice and nothing to do with them and they were only trying to be kind asking if you felt better won’t have done anything to make you look less racist either.
I think rather than moaning again I would tell them that you saw the report and apologise for the way you have spoken to them.

I think the only issue is the staff keeping reports on display. I get some things might need to be noted down like complaints to improve customer service and it may be relevant if a customer appears racist as they may not wish to have staff deal with them alone. The level of detail about how you’ve spent your day is a bit weird though admittedly.
Clearly you’ve come across as racist by appearing to sit somewhere dangerous rather than with Asians and by the look of the report you’ve had a right go at staff in the hotel about it as well. In reality you may be the kind of person who would moan about your own choices to people of any race but a number of things have happened which have made it look like you have an issue with Asians. Apologise, be nice and they will realise you aren’t a racist.

Love the idea that living in other countries is proof you're not racist 😂

@Ghanagirl I think we are both entitled to feel upset tbh. No one should be subjected to racism I completely agree with you!