To be really angry and upset to be labelled racist?

[motherlondon]

We are currently on holiday in Asia, the latest place we are staying is a very nice all
Inclusive small resort.

Not cheap, to put in perspective this place cost as much for 3 nights as last place cost for 12 nights, but wanted to end holiday on a lovely high note.

Me and two kids (6 and8). It was a 90 minute boat transfer to get here. We drove for four hours, waited at port for three hours as boat left 90 minutes later than we were told.

I think they bunched two boat departures together. The boat had a small enclosed cabin and one of my kids sat inside, but when we went to go in, realised that there was hardly any room and said we would sit outside, with another family of four (adult kids). The crew told us we would get wet but we said we would sit out anyway.

We got absolutely pounded, just destroyed by water, I lost an earring, my ear is full of water etc.

When we arrived it was all, garlands and welcome drinks, I asked for a towel and said to manager that it was ridiculous and dangerous.

That night at dinner manager asked if I was 'feeling better' and I said again that it wasn't a case of feeling better, but a case of the trip not being appropriate.

Anyway, we got on with our holiday, had an absolutely beautiful day today, and went to pay for some tat that kids got at gift shop. On desk is a report on guests - mr and Mrs so and so, enjoyed snorkelling and food but said service slow etc.

Mine was that I was angry when I arrived, chose to sit outside boat with other WHITE (their use of capitals) family and that although I had toned down by dinner, the manager believes I have a problem with ASIANS.

I am mortified. I have lived and worked all over the world and the very very last thing you could label me is racist.

I feel embarrassed that we have been getting served at dinner, helped in the water etc by staff who've been briefed that I don't like Asians, and also that if I saw the report, what other guests did?

I am sickened and it has seriously upset me, before dinner I was planning when we could come back for longer and now I just want to get out of here.

I have emailed the manager, but am I being unreasonable? To be pissed off about the dangerous boat ride, and then to be embarrassed and sad that I have been labelled a racist?

What should I do?

They can't understand why you chose to sit in the wet when there was an inside option so the only reason they can find is that you didn't want to be in mixed race company. Hence you opted to get wet (and complain about it!) with other white people rather than be dry with asian people.

It was ridiculous to complain about the waves when you'd been warned and when there was another option available.

The cabin was full!
Yes, the other WHITE family remarked that there was no choice but to sit outside and said that we should all be getting free cocktails for life.
As I said I think they lumped two departures together to save petrol whatever.
Even my 8 year old said that thE number of people on board was 8 more than the maximum number of passengers allowed by signage.

One of my kids was between two other passengers basically squashed onto one of their laps, so I don't see how I can be painted as the Aryan racist.

Ok, according to most of you IABU.

I'm astounded that they make reports on the guests. I'd feel like I were in a series of Big Brother.

Erick, you are so racist you know. I am going to tell everyone I know that you are.

Would that be ok? No. This is a powerful accusation. It may be that the manager didn't realise the import of his words but it's not ok to throw these kind of accusations around.

Were there seats inside the boat? How many did you need? How many were available? What happened to the other family that sat outside?

Op - AIBU?

Everyone - yes yabu.

Op - no I'm not!

😂

YANBU at all btw. Your actions do not appear to be in any way racist, and it is entirely reasonable to be upset by seeing such accusations set out in a report at all, let alone left in a public setting for anyone to see.

Not a very good advertisement for the resort is it. Complain and you’re automatically labelled racist.

You have my sympathies OP. I’d be livid.

Mirrivan, it wasn't public transport. It was the resorts boat.

rightreckoner not sure why you are making things up that never happened. The word racist wasn't used, and it seems it was a few notes manager had jotted down. Manager is not going to be putting it on FB or sending it to an employer.

I would think about MY actions if someone thought that of me - not start kicking off at everyone else. As I said, I believe the OP and actually think it was a shitty boat ride and it's fair to complain, but those comments would make me consider my own actions and re-think - not want to complain.

Peaches - at least I'm tenacious if not racist

Cemetery - yes, I thought I might be naive, but it is weird and then to have stuff like what we did in the day etc.

Glad I didn't steal an extra danish from the buffet.

I can see why you think you've done nothing wrong, and I can absolutely, absolutely see how you must have come across. Maybe take this one on the chin and chalk it up to the experience of being somewhere where people are very far from your mindset.

I wouldn't be impressed by the fact that they left notes on guests out on display

Barbie222 well said

This sounds like a typical boat ride in Thailand but I would expect more from a fancy resort. I think if you chose to sit outside when you were getting pummelled by waves with the only other white family rather than sit inside with the other Asians then I can kind of see why they would think that.

This might have to be one where you take a nice deep breath and let it go, OP. They probably expected you to squeeze in with the others if you wanted to stay dry.

Yes, it's not nice to be thought of as something you think you're not but in the grand scheme of things there's probably other things that matter more?

And anyway, in the words of that catchy Avenue Q song, "Everyone's a Little Bit Racist". . Honestly, don't sweat it.

It definitely does sound like a stretch to call you a racist. They probably weren’t thrilled that you were stroppy about a situation which it seems you had been warned about and could have at least mitigated, but it really doesn’t sound like you were racist!

Hopefully they will bung you a freebie apologise when you speak to the manager.

Peaches are you reading the same thread?

You had a legitimate complaint. To be automatically labelled racist is pathetic and a very, very poor advertisement for the resort. Are they trying to drive customers away?

It’s quite normal to sit on the floor inside boats in Thailand.

No Mirrivan, they were other guests. One pilot and one poor dude who sat on the roof, but at least he stayed dry!

Thanks Namedy - will look up
That song now.